Twisted Tales of Tsubasa: Mindless Delight
by TrueDespair
Summary: -Sequel to T.T.O.T- Yes, the characters have fallen victims to the author's dark whims! Read and find out what situations they will be facing this time! -Slow updates-
1. Drinking

You all are **so lucky** that i was blessed with actual time to write the first one-shot of the sequel. *phew~!*

Now this one might be a bit weak but don't worry; it gets better from here. *evilly grins*

**Warning: language, Might be or might not be KuroFai *whatever floats your boat* and Watanuki being a mastermind in this.**

**-I took the setting on that special XXXHolic chapter when the Tsbasa gang dropped by and stayed for a while. Just altered a few things. XD-  
**

**Disclaimer: ****don't own them; never will. XD**

**Enjoy~! ^__^  
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* * *

**The result of drinking something that's not yours!**

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* * *

**Kurogane couldn't believe it. Of all of the stupid things that the mage could do; this takes the cake.

He just couldn't believe it. and all because of that dumb object too.

* * *

The group arrived at the backyard of the shop one fine morning with Watanuki greeting them happily as the two Mokonas welcoming with each other in delight.

Watanuki told them that they can stay at the shop as long as they like which they agreed whole-heartedly to.

* * *

It was on the third day that Watanuki received some sort of unusual compensation from a person who had angry dog spirits terrorizing the mother's grave.

Watanuki walked into the main room to see Fai and Kurogane having an intense game of Poker, the two Mokonas sleeping on one of the pillows, and Maru and Moro listening to Syaoron who was reading a story out loud.

Then the young owner stepped into the room, Maru and Moro looked up and smiled. "Watanuki's back!" They whispered loudly.

Syaoron looked up as well and smiled. However his eyes trailed to Watanuki's hands and frowned curiously. "Um, Watanuki; what's that?"

Watanuki looked at what he was holding. It was a liquor-like bottle with crystal –clear liquid inside. "Oh, it's the compensation from one of my customers." He looked at the object closely. "What I don't know right now is what the liquid is used for."

Syaoron and Watanuki looked at each other with blank expressions as they shared one thought.

_Keep this away from unsuspecting victims._

"I'll just put this in the storage." Watanuki stated as he left the room.

Syaoron looked at the doorway with an unsure look. He could just feel an event just waiting to occur.

He didn't have the time to dwell on it any further as he heard Fai exclaimed happily.

"Hyuu~! Royal flush; I win!"

Along with Kurogane's shout of sore loser-like anger.

"Damn it mage! You cheated!"

And the cries of the now awakened Mokonas.

"Wahh~! Kuro-meanie woke us up~!"

Though not without the girl servants teasing the ninja.

"Kuro-meanie~! Kuro-meanie~!"

Syaoron sighed in content.

He was _so_ glad Sakura didn't have to put up with this.

* * *

On the fourth day, Syaoron took the Mokonas to do a bit of shopping. Watanuki was in the bedroom; taking a nap.

Kurogane was practicing with his sword in the backyard.

Fai was cooking dinner for all of them to thank Watanuki for his hospitality. Just as he was warming up the pan, he looked around for the oil. "Hmm…I wonder where he puts the cooking supplies." He left the kitchen and went towards the storage.

"Ah ha! Found it!" Fai shouted out to no one in particular. He grabbed the cooking oil and started to walk out of the room.

Until something shiny caught his eye. He stopped as he looked at the liquor bottle with interest. "Hmm~!" He tilted his head in glee. "Well, I'm sure Watanuki wouldn't mind if I had a sip before a meal." He placed the oil on the shelf while taking out the bottle. He took off the cap and took a big gulp of the liquid. He licked his lips. "Mmm~! Tasty~!"

Then suddenly a puff of smoke engulfed him as he screamed in surprise.

"WAHH~!"

Kurogane heard the scream as he readied his sword and ran back inside the shop. He looked around. "Mage! Where the hell are you!"

"Kuro-puu!" A cry of desperation called out.

It came from the warehouse.

Kurogane ran to the storage room and opened the door. "Mage!" What he witnessed was nothing he ever was prepared for.

Within the room, he saw a figure hunched over with a blonde tail swishing in the air while the ears were half-covered as the lone figure had its back turned towards him.

Kurogane took one step forward before the figure twitched. His eyes widened as he heard a very familiar voice coming out of the figure's mouth.

"F-fai?"

He never got the chance to even be surprised as he was tackled to the ground by the cat-hybrid.

"Nyaa~! Kuro-wanwan!"

"DAMN IT MAGE-CAT THING! GET OFF!"

* * *

"Yep, I knew this kind of thing would happen."

"Then why didn't you prevent _this_ from happening!"

"It was _Hitsuzen_."

"You seem pretty freaking calm about this."

"Would you rather be in his position right now instead?"

"….."

"Thought so. Alas, we just have to wait until the potion wears off and Fai will return to his normal self."

"Heh. As normal as this idiot can get."

Watanuki and Kurogane watched as Fai was playing with a ball of yarn with his cat-like paws as the servants cooed at him.

The cat-hybrid looked up at Kurogane and gave the cutest cat-like smile the ninja has ever seen on the wizard.

Kurogane blushed as he looked away.

This was going to be a _long_ day.

* * *

After a couple of hours of playing with a toy mouse that Fai was starting to get a bit bored. Looking at Kurogane slightly napping on the other side of the room; he half-crawled to the ninja and started to purr while rubbing the man's arm.

Coming out his slumber; Kurogane turned his head to see Fai rubbing against his arm. Blinking in mild shock he started to gently pet Fai's head with his right hand.

Fai mewled in content. "Nya~! Kuro~!" He rubbed against the ninja's hand; silently asking him to pet him more.

Kurogane raised an eyebrow at the mage's behavior. "Damn Fai, you realized how…..different you look right now?" It would be a million years before Kurogane would even utter the word 'cute'.

Though in his mind, it's being repeated like a broken record.

Then suddenly Fai turned his head and looked outside. He gazed at a single moth that found its way into the room. In a flash Fai jumped up and tried to catch the bug. Kurogane watch with mild amusement as the cat-mage fell on his bottom and mewled angrily; determined to get that moth.

"I always wondered why the mage would call himself: big-cat."

* * *

After many fail attempts of trying to catch the moth, Fai's eyelids started to droop as he yawned loudly.

Kurogane stood up from his spot and walked towards him. "Okay mage, that's enough; time for bed."

The cat-mage mewled in protest before another yawn escaped his mouth. "Nya."

Kurogane almost smiled at the tired look for the wizard. _Almost._

Fai then reached his arms high as he can go from his spot on the ground. "Carry me nya~?"

Kurogane stared at him; fighting the urge to tackle him. "No mage; you have to get up yourself."

Then he saw it.

The most adorable blue cat-eyes he has ever seen. Those eyes were pleading him; to try and say no. Kurogane feared it would happen to him.

Fai mewled as he pouted. "Please, nya~?" His eyes were glistening with tears.

Kurogane swallowed whatever pride he actually had at that moment and carried Fai bridal-style in his arms. "Fine!"

"Yay~!"

The warrior sighed as he carried the cat-hybrid to their shared bedroom.

What they both failed to notice was the rest of the group watching the scene with smiles on their faces.

"Watanuki; did you knew that this would happen?" Syaoron asked but couldn't keep the smile off.

The young owner hummed in content. "Who's to say Syaoron; it was _Hitsuzen_ after all." He grinned as well.

The servants and the Mokonas giggled in delight.

* * *

Kurogane gently placed Fai on the bed and pulled up the covers. "Now then I trust you won't be doing anymore dumb-ass stunts?"

Fai tiredly nodded against the pillow with a smile.

The ninja grunted. "Then…" He started to walk away from the bed when he felt a tug on his sleeve. He looked over to see Fai meowing softly. "Sleep with me?" He was so tired that he didn't even bother to add 'Nya'.

Kurogane blushed as he couldn't think of an excuse to not be next to him. Finally he sighed. "Fine. Move over."

Fai silently cheered as he moved to the other side of the bed.

With Kurogane in bed, Fai snuggled onto his chest and purred.

"You are such a cat mage." Kurogane said; lacking the bite in his bark.

Fai just meowed and slowly slumbered.

Kurogane sighed in content as he too drifted into dream land.

The next morning, Kurogane's eyes flatter open as he took in the surroundings.

'_Ugh. Where am I…oh right I was in bed with the cat-mage.'_

He looked to his left to see that Fai was back to normal.

"Good. The last thing I needed was to tell the kid the damn situation." Kurogane thanked god that the Kid wasn't the one turned into anything that day.

Fai moaned in his pillow as he started to wake up. "Uhm….Kurgy?" He rubbed his eyes while he slowly sat up. "What happened?"

Kurogane looked at the mage in shock. "You mean you don't remember?"

Fai shook his head. "No. All I remember was taking a taste of that liquid and then nothing."

Kurogane frowned as he was slightly disappointed that Fai couldn't remember a thing. But the day had come and gone. "Well mage, did you learn your lesson?"

Nodding happily, Fai smiled. "Yep~! No more drinking weird things without permission again~!" He then looked at the ninja and stared. "Um…Kuro?"

Kurogane looked back at Fai with a questioning look. "Yeah?"

The mage tilted his head as he pointed to his head. "Kuro-wanwan has puppy ears~!"

"…….What?"

As soon as Kurogane touched his head, he found that a pair of dog ears on his head. In a panic, he took off the covers and found a black shaggy tail waving back at him.

'_Oh hell no!'_

Kurogane howled in anger.

* * *

In the main room, Watanuki and Syaoron were sharing some tea while Maru,Moro and the Mokonas were playing outside.

The two boys heard a howl and looked at each other while holding their cups.

"…So I'm guessing Kurogane turned into a dog-hybrid?" Syaoron couldn't help but ask.

Watanuki calmly took a sip of his tea. "Yeah, it turned out that if one person drank some of that liquid; the person closest to them will change next."

Syaoron nodded. "I see." He then heard a series of crashes, Fai's laughter, and Kurogane's shouts of embarrassment. "Did you know that this would happen?"

The young owner grinned. "I don't know what you mean Syaoron."

Syaoron laughed. "Well I'm glad about one thing."

"Oh? And what's that?

The traveler took a big gulp of tea before setting the cup on the table. "That I'm not the one that made Kurogane mad."

Watanuki raised an eyebrow. "And why's that?"

"Well for one thing if I _did _make Kurogane angry at least I can leave the shop for dear life."

The young owner choked on his tea.

He did not think that far.

"Oh crap."

The door at the end of the hall slammed open.

"WATANUKI!"

The poor owner gulped.

"I'll make sure you'll have a nice funeral after this." Syaoron _helpfully_ stated.

Watanuki sighed.

"Ah double crap."

And the shop's day had only just began.

* * *

**END**

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**Well i hope you all like that start of the insanity~! XD**

**Don't forget to review, check out my other stories and vote for fave T.R.C pairing on profile**

**Until next time~! ^__^  
**


	2. Siblings

Hey guys, new one-shot up! Okay a few things. Yes, it has the two main characters of Kobato but whether or not you want to see them more in this series is up to you. ^_^

Another thing For each title i give for these one-shots could either have a lot of relevance or none whatsoever. XD

Inspiration was that episode where the Post-Tsubasa gang met Kobato and Fai pointed out that Ioryogi and Kurogane had the '_same_' voice. XD I hope when they dub Kobato that **Chistopher Sabat** gets to play Ioryogi. (otherwise the joke's dead and gone.)

and yes, i am accepting requests but two things will be factors: **time** to write it and if the requests are **within reason**. (i could only do **borderline of T/M** for certain requests so don't expect too much from me. ^_^)

**Warning:Language, no pairings...if you like to see it that way, and other things to proceed with caution with. ^_^**

**Disclaimer: don't own them; never will**

**Enjoy~!  
**

* * *

**Hitsuzen and Coincidence are riving siblings**

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* * *

**Syaoron was lost.

Very lost.

Lost in a place where he and the rest of the group had just arrived in.

Just great.

He got separated from them during the morning rush in a large shopping area.

Wonderful.

Now Syaoron had to re-trace his steps to find the princess and the others.

Just Perfect.

* * *

"Oh man, I'm back at the same spot again!" Syaoron groaned miserably.

It has been a couple of hours since he got separated and he was no where closer to finding them then he were when he got into the predicament.

The boy sighed as he walked down the same path he was on when he first got lost. He turned around a corner on an unimportant street when he suddenly heard a voice that sounded very familiar.

"What the hell were you thinking! You could've flattened me into a pancake!"

"I'm sorry~!"

"Damn it you're such a Klutz!"

Syaoron was flabbergasted. _'Is Kurogane yelling at a young girl! That's not like him!' _ With curiosity empowering him; he ran towards the source of that voice. The faster he ran; the louder and closer the voice became. He then turned to a seemingly abandoned alleyway.

"Kurogane!"

What he saw shocked him beyond belief.

Before him was a young girl; about Sakura's age being yelled by a….

A plushy?

"Um, w-what's going on?"

The two in question realized that they were being watched as they turned their heads and saw Syaoron.

The world seemed to have stopped in those few moments.

"Um….uh…." The girl tried to speak but couldn't get her words out.

However the plushy had no problem talking as it stood on top of a discarded box and growled at the poor girl. "See what you did Dobato! Now we have just been spotted!"

The girl pouted sadly as she closed her eyes in shame. "Sorry."

The plushy just scoffed lightly but made no further move to insult the girl.

Syaoron felt that now's the time to speak up. "Um, excuse me?"

The plushy whipped his head towards the boy in mild annoyance. "What?"

The boy offered an apologetic smile. "I'm really sorry for interrupting your conversation." He rubbed his head sheepishly. "It's just that I thought I heard one of my friends yelling at the miss so I ran to see if I was correct. I guess not." He chuckled awkwardly.

The girl tilted her head in confusion. "I heard you say 'Kurogane' a while ago; what does he sound like?"

Syaoron shifted his eyes. "Well……" He pointed to the plushy.

The girl and the plushy stared at each other then at the boy.

"You mean this 'Kurogane' sounds like Ioryogi-san!" She exclaimed happily.

"DOBATO; YOU IDIOT!" Ioryogi shouted out; angry that she would shout out his name in front a boy that they barely know.

She whimpered. "Sorry!"

Sighing angrily, Ioryogi turned back to Syaoron. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! I mean how two people can have the same voice! That's nothing but some sick twist of coincidence!"

Syaoron bit back a comment as Yuuko's voice came into his head.

_**There is no such thing as coincidence; only Hitsuzen.**_

_**And drunken laughter that followed.**_

The boy could only pray that the two will never have to come in contact with her anytime soon. He then smiled at the pair while pushing that voice to the back of his mind. "Well, I guess I should introduce myself; my name's Syaoron." He bowed formally. "It's nice to meet you."

The girl smiled. "Hi! My name's Kobato Hanato." She bowed as well. "Likewise."

They both shared a laugh.

'_Just like Sakura.'_

'_Almost like Fujimoto-kun.'_

They heard Ioryogi cough as they turned their attention back to him.

"Well now that introductions are done and over with you are missing something _really _important, Dobato."

Kobato was innocently confused. "Eh?"

"YOU FORGET THAT WE STILL GOT CAUGHT!" Ioyrogi shouted with irritation.

The girl squeaked in fear while Syaoron waved his arms frantically.

"No! It's okay I'm not going to tell anyone and besides," He tired to reason with Ioryogi; the mad plushy. "There's someone that's very similar to you that I know of."

The plushy raised an almost non-existent eyebrow. "Oh yeah; who then?"

The boy was just about to answer when the trio heard shouting and sounds of footsteps not too far from them.

"Syaoron!"

"Syaoron~!"

"Syao~ron~!"

"Oi kid; where the hell are you!"

Syaoron turned around and smiled. "Guys, I'm over here!" He shouted out.

Kobato and Ioryogi gasped as the rest of Syaoron's group came into view.

Fai ran over to the boy and hugged him tightly. "Hyuu~! We finally found you~! We were so worried about you~!"

"Um, Fai…could you let go of Syaoron? He's turning blue." Sakura fearfully pointed out.

The wizard looked at the young boy and sure enough; he was blue to the face. He let go of him with an awkward laugh. "Haha~! Sorry about that Syaoron."

Kurogane humphed. "Only you would actually kill someone with Kindness."

"Hyuu~? What was that Kuro-chu; did you miss your precious son too~?" Fai teased the man while Mokona hopped on Syaoron's shoulder with a bright smile.

Kurogane glared at the blonde. "Say that again; _I dare you._" He seethed darkly.

Fai just smiled. "You mean that you care abut _our_ son; Kuro-boo?"

"THAT'S IT MAGE; YOU'RE DEAD!"

"He really does sound like Ioryogi-san!"

The group turned their attention to Kobato who had stars in her eyes and smiling gleefully.

"….Who's that?" Kurogane asked blankly.

Sakura, Fai and Mokona were staring at the girl; wondering the same thing .

"Friend of yours, Syaoron?" Fai asked playfully.

Syaoron chuckled. "You could say that, her name is Kobato and that blue dog plushy is Ioryogi. I kinda ran into them while they were having a conversation when I thought I heard your voice Kurogane. It turned out though it was Ioryogi." He decided to leave out his initial thoughts before meeting the pair; mostly out of fear.

"And what made you think I would sound like that?" The warrior asked.

Ioryogi; who was silent up until this point, sighed loudly. "Exactly! That's what I've been saying to the kid!"

The rest looked back and forward at the warrior and plushy and came to a conclusion.

'_Yup, they really do sound the same.'_

Mokona took the opportunity to tease Kurogane about that. "So I guess the Kurogane in this world is little and blue~!" (**1**)

Kurogane clenched his fist. "Oh yeah?" He then started running towards the Manjuu. "I GET YOU FOR THAT COMMENT!"

"Wahh~! Kuro-puu's angry again~!" Mokona shouted out playfully as she jumped off from Syaoron's shoulder and hopped down the alleyway with Kurogane chasing after her.

"COME BACK HERE PORK BUN!"

"Never~!"

Fai laughed at the scene. "Well I guess we should catch up to them; don't want to get separated again." He then patted Kobato gently on the head. "We'll be seeing you Kobato-chan. Name's Fai by the way." He then proceeded to skip down the alleyway; trying to catch up with the Big Dog.

Ioryogi watch the blonde with a slightly off look. "What a fruit."

Syaoron, Kobato and Sakura shared a look. "Fruit?"

Then they heard a loud shout then a series of crashes.

"Oh boy, Kurogane's at it again." Syaoron smiled. "We got to go Kobato. We'll see each other again; right Sakura?"

Sakura nodded happily. "Yes, we will."

* * *

The two ran off with Kobato waving them off with a smile. "What nice people." She commented.

Ioryogi however just humphed. "Whatever. I'm just glad that we won't be seeing them for a while."

Kobato then looked at the plushy. "Ioryogi-san?"

"What?"

"What did you mean by calling Fai-san a 'fruit'?"

A moment of silence filled the air.

"…It's nothing you should be concerned about Kobato."

Kobato looked disappointed but didn't say any further.

As they walked out for the alleyway, Ioryogi sighed.

'_I better not say anything about this incident. Gensei would have my ass. As if he didn't have it before.' _The plushy inwardly smiled. (**2**)

* * *

Watanuki was tending the garden when he heard a series of dark laughter coming from the shop. He sighed angrily. "Yuuko! Stop using that stupid inter-dimensional microphone to mess with Syaoron's head!"

"Aww~! But Watanuki~!" The witch playfully whined from inside.

"Do you want to want to have just two cups of Sake with dinner again!"

He then heard shuffling and a moan of reluctance. "Fine! Be that way!"

The boy sighed as he watered the colorful flowers.

"I swear that witch is more of a child then Maru and Moro combined."

"I HEARD THAT!" Yuuko's shouted.

"GOOD! THAT'S WHAT I WAS HOPING FOR!" Watanuki shouted back as he grumbled about 'drunken witches' and 'Too much chores to handle'.

This was _so _not worth the wish.

Hitsuzen be damned.

Coincidence was the better sibling after all.

* * *

**END**

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**(1)- **That line was said by Mokona in that Kobato episode but i could be paraphrasing for my own memory's sake. *cries a bit*

**(2)**- Yes! Brief shameless Implied!IoryogiGensei! *ducks under her desk to avoid throwing objects*

**Don't forget to review, check out my other stories and vote for Fave T.R.C pairing on profile.**

**Until next time~!  
**


	3. Food and Fear shouldn't mix

I felt giddy when I wrote this, Don't know why. XD

**Warning: proceed with caution! Just making sure what you'll be up against. XD  
**

**No spoilers for XXXholic because i know there are some people who are not far into the series.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own them; never will.**

**Enjoy~!  
**

* * *

**Food could either excite you or scare you silly**

**

* * *

**Kurogane always wondered just how much Fai disliked Sushi.

Sushi for the mage was like him with milk.

Gag Reflex anyone?

However because of the new discovery, Kurogane came up with an idea that will freak the wizard out.

"This will be the major payback for all the crap the mage made me go through." The ninja smirked evilly.

All he needed was some lackeys to join him in his plan.

What he meant to say was that he needed help.

And he knew some people who'll be willing to help.

Or not.

* * *

"So you want me to do what now?" Watanuki asked while making green tea for the ninja.

"I need your help in pranking the wizard." Kurogane simply stated; accepting the tea cup from the boy.

Watanuki poured himself a cup and sat across from the ninja and raised an eyebrow. "You doing a prank; no offense Kurogane but that's very unlike you. Why the sudden action?"

Kurogane stared straight into the boy's eyes. "If you found something big about the person who annoys you till the end of freaking time; what would you do?"

"…"Watanuki thought about it. His mind trailed to his annoying boyfriend, Doumeki and his secret. Oh wow he wanted to exploit it and use it to his advantage. Too bad Doumeki wasn't embarrassed or even fazed by his sudden knowledge about it.

Damn him and his blank slate of a face.

"You do have a point." Watanuki drank his tea and placed his cup on the table. "But what did you find out about Fai that would be prank-worthy?"

Kurogane smirked. "If you help me, I'll tell you."

Watanuki weighed his options. "Am I going to be the only one _helping _you?"

"Nope." Kurogane drowned his tea before slamming it on the table; startling the younger male. "I have the witch and the kid helping me."

"EH? You even got Yuuko involved too!" Watanuki was shocked. How he managed that!

"Yeah, but it wasn't easy. I owe her a whole load of sake when this is over. So are you in or what?"

The part-timer sighed. He's going to regret this; at least Doumeki won't be around to see it. "Fine. I'm in. But if this turned bad or backfires in any way; I'm out and running for my dear damn life!"

Kurogane nodded. "Don't worry; with the witch on our side, that damn mage won't know what hit him." He smiled so evilly; his eyes brighten in a murderous manner.

Watanuki gulped.

That statement did nothing to calm his nerves.

* * *

After Yuuko sent Fai and Sakura out shopping for food, Kurogane shoved Syaoron and Watanuki into the kitchen.

For some odd hours, the boys were rolling and stacking the necessary materials while Kurogane was leaning on the doorway; waiting oh so patiently.

"So Syaoron, I'm guessing Kurogane sucked you into this prank he has planned for Fai."Watanuki stated as he roll seaweed over the rice.

Syaoron chuckled awkwardly. "Yeah, it surprised me as well. I've known Kurogane for a while and this is the first time _he_ of all people would prank anyone; let alone Fai." He stacked the rolls neatly on a large silver tray.

"I'm just confused on why we're doing this. I know I agreed to this but why are we making these things; this was Kurogane's idea in the first place." The blue-eyed boy complained.

"Well for one thing Kurogane can't cook worth anything and the fact he had Princess Tomoyo's servants do the cooking for him." Syaoron explained with a small smile.

"So he was spoiled?"

"In a nut shell: yeah."

"Oi! If you two are done talking about my lack of girly skills; I suggest you hurry it up before the mage and the princess return!"

"Y-yes sir!" Watanuki sped up his work while Syaoron continued at his own pace. "I swear that ninja is very intimidating!"

"If you think he's intimidating now, you should have seen what he had done to those poor rabbit creatures from that one world we were on." Syaoron shook his head muttering 'Poor things' under his breath.

* * *

The two took two large trays of the materials and walked out of the kitchen with Kurogane in tow.

The three walked to the main room where Yuuko was waiting for them. "Ah. I see you two have made what Kurogane wanted." She glanced at the warrior who scoffed. "Now then if you please put the trays right in front of me and we can begin."

Confused, the two boys placed the trays in front of the witch's feet before backing up.

The witch took out a bottle filled with dark liquid out of her dress pocket and poured some on the two trays.

Watanuki, Kurogane, and Syaoron held their breath.

"God that smells nasty! What the hell is that scent!" Kurogane shouted out.

Yuuko smirked. "It's one of my darker magic that I haven't been able to use in quite some time."

The archeologist and the ninja looked at the part-timer; asking for an explanation.

Watanuki shrugged. "Yeah, I don't know either."

So much for that.

After some of the liquid was poured on the materials, Yuuko waved her hands and a huge magic circle appeared and it engulfed the trays.

Watching the witch at her best, Syaoron couldn't help but ask Kurogane a question as he turned his attention to the warrior. "So what is Yuuko going to turn _them _into?"

Kurogane chuckled darkly. "You'll see kid; you'll see."

Syaoron and Watanuki exchanged looks before noticing that a huge figure overshadowing them. They looked in time to see the end result.

Watanuki fainted.

Syaoron was too shocked for words.

Kurogane smiled in an evil-villain manner.

"And now it begins."

* * *

"Yuuko~! We're back." Fai shouted out with a couple of bags as he and Sakura finally returned to the shop.

Sakura held two bags of groceries as she walked through the front door. "Hello? Anyone home?"

"Princess! Fai!"

Fai and Sakura looked and smiled as they saw Syaoron walking towards them with a smile.

Or what they thought was a smile.

"Hello Syaoron. I trust you had a wonderful time without us~?" Fai teased the boy.

Syaoron sighed. "You could say that." Then he remembered something. "Um, Fai."

"Yes?"

"The dimensional witch wanted to talk to you about something. She's in the last door to the right." Syaoron said; unaware that he was fisting his right hand while talking.

Not noticing the movement at all; Fai smiled as he gave Syaoron the bags. "Well then I can't keep the madam waiting. I'll go on ahead; could you two please put away the groceries for me?"

"Yes Fai!" The two kids answered happily.

With a bright smile, Fai left them and walked down the hallway.

As soon as Fai was out of his sight; Syaoron's happy demeanor quickly turned to a look of horror.

Sakura saw the expression. "Syaoron; what's wrong? Did something happen when we were away?"

The boy sighed as he took the bags from Sakura's grasp and placed all of them on the floor. "We need to leave, _now_."

"Eh? What do you mean Syaoron?" Sakura was starting to get scared and Syaoron couldn't blame her.

He was starting to shake in fear as well. "There's no time to explain now princess, I'm sure Kurogane will tell you later." He opened the front and took Sakura's hand. "For right now we have to be as far away from this shop as possible."

Sakura didn't resist the tug but couldn't help ask more questions. "What do you mean and what does Kurogane have anything do with this?"

Syaoron sighed. "You will know soon enough Sakura." He then took her out of the shop and closed the door silently.

'_Oh Fai I'm sorry about this. Please forgive all of us.'_

_

* * *

_Fai walked down the hallway with an extra skip in his step. He vaguely heard the front door close but he figured it was Syaoron being polite as usual. When he got to the last door to the right, he knocked the door. "Yuuko~! Are you in there~? I heard that you wanted to see me~!"

Silence.

Confused, Fai knocked on the door a bit more firmly that time. "Um Yuuko, are you in there?"

A soft groan was heard from the other side of the door.

Breathing a bit heavily, Fai timidly took the doorknob and turned the object very slowly. The door clicked as he opened the door. He looked inside before entering. "Hello…..?" He walked into the room. "Yuuko? Wata-kun?" He gulped. "K-k-kuro-puu?"

A low growl was heard.

Fai lifted his head up in hope. "Kuro-tan?"

In the shadows was a huge lone figure. It gurgled as it walked towards the light. "Fri-end?"

Fai looked at the figure as it showed its face in the light. His eyes widened as he gaped. "No…"

"F-ri-en-d?" The creature said.

Fai shook his head as he backed up from to the door. "No! Anything but that! No! Please not that!" He fell to the floor shaking in fear.

The creature revealed itself. It smiled deformedly. "Friend!"

Fai's mind shut down as his eyes bulged out.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

"Kurogane how could you?" Sakura cried out.

The whole group was in the hospital as the medical staff was treating Fai for any mental trauma he had experienced after _the incident_.

"I was pulling a prank on the wizard." Kurogane simply stated.

"You made Yuuko turn two trays of Sushi into a Sushi monster and left Fai all alone in the shop!"

Kurogane just shrugged as he looked at the door where Fai was being held.

Sakura pouted as she turned her attention to the rest who were sitting on the waiting chairs. "Syaoron and Watanuki; how could you let him take advantage of you two like that!"

Syaoron hung his head in shame while Watanuki whistled a random tune.

Yuuko looked at nothing in particular but couldn't keep the smile off her face. "I assure you Sakura we didn't mean for the trick to go too far, we have known about Fai's dislike for Sushi for a while but of course for him to have _that_ kind of reaction was something that even I wasn't expecting."

Sakura sighed as she turned her attention back to Kurogane. "You're going to apologize to Fai about all this."

"Whatever."

The door opened as the doctor left the room and towards the group. "Oh, are you all with the patient?"

Syaoron stood up from the chair. "Yes."

Watanuki stood up as well. "Is Fai alright; is he going to be okay?"

The doctor smiled. "I assure you all he will be fine; he's lucky though; if that young woman over there didn't call any sooner he would have been admitted to the local mental care facility."

The group looked at Yuuko who was smiling and waving.

They looked back at the doctor with lighter consciousness.

"So he's fine now?" Sakura asked; happy that her 'mom' is fine.

The doctor nodded. "Yes young miss he's fine; in fact you all could see him now if you want."

Yuuko stood up and bowed. "Thank you very much doctor."

Smiling; the doctor left to do other duties as the group entered the room.

* * *

"Fai?"

Fai was sitting up on the hospital bed looking at the window. He turned to see the group enter and smiled. "Hey everyone~!"

Syaoron and Watanuki quickly bowed in shame. "We're really sorry Fai!"

The mage's smile softened as he gestured the two to come forward. "Oh boys. Come here."

The two walked forward to the mage only to be hugged tightly by him.

"I know you guys didn't mean to but I got to say, I'm surprised." He let go of the two as they looked at him; confused by his words.

"Wait; you mean you're not mad at us?" Watanuki asked.

Fai shook his head. "Nope. Though; how about next time you won't go to the extreme just to prank me. You never know when I might freak out again~!"

The whole group except Kurogane laughed.

Yuuko stepped forward and bowed as well. "Regardless, I think I should apologize as well since I was involved as well." She smiled.

Fai waved her off with a grin. "Like I said there's nothing to worry about~!"

Sakura smiled at the scene but lightly frowned. "Kurogane; don't you have anything to say to Fai?"

Kurogane who was quiet up until this point looked at Sakura then at the group and then at Fai who was still had that smile on his face. He sighed. "I-I-I'm sorry." He muttered silently.

Fai, who wasn't expecting anything from the ninja at all, chuckled. "Oh Kuro-rin you just wanted to get back at me for all the times I teased you huh?"

"Heh." Kurogane scoffed while looking away.

The wizard's eyes softened as the shy gesture that the warrior was bluntly giving out. "Well if that's the case then you are forgiven Kurogane."

Kurogane whipped his head so fast that the rest thought his neck would snap. "What did you say?"

Smirking at Kurogane's seemingly bad hearing, Fai went back to teasing him. "I said you're forgiven Kuro-pon~!"

"You moron; that's not what you said before!"

"And you'll never hear it again~!"

"Why you-!"

"Wahh~! Kuro-love is angry again~!"

The group laughed at the two. Some things will never change.

"Oh by the way, Yuuko, when was Doumeki supposed to be here?" Sakura asked.

Yuuko smiled. "He said that he was getting some food for us since a certain someone was passed out during the whole fiasco." She glanced knowingly at Watanuki who grumbled angrily.

Someone knocked on the door.

"Come in~!" Fai called out.

Entering the room was Doumeki who was munching on some food while holding a white package. "Yo."

Watanuki's face turned angry rapidly. "You pig! Have some common freaking courtesy; there are ladies here!"

"So you do want some or not." Doumeki bluntly asked as he swallowed the food.

"THAT'S NOT IT! YOU'RE IGNORING THE QUESTION!"

"So I see you brought food for us~!" Yuuko stated; not paying attention to Watanuki in the slightest.

"Yeah." Doumeki started to open the box. "I didn't have much money at the time so all I got was these." The lid of the box was off.

They all stared at the contents.

Oh boy.

"AHH! NO!" Fai screamed out as he fell of the bed and moved to a corner. "NO! NOT THE DREADED SUSHI! KEEP IT AWAY FROM ME! DON'T LET IT NEAR ME!"

"Fai it's okay! Please calm down!"

"Oh boy; now look what you did you jerk?"

"What did I do?"

"Damn it mage; it's just plain harmless sushi; GET A GRIP ON YOURSELF!"

"Yuuko what happened to the Sushi creature?" Sakura asked loudly as the incident seemed to have repeated itself.

Yuuko smiled. "Let's just say it's been taken care of."

* * *

The Mokonas, Maru and Moro were on the floor in the shop with rounded bellies.

The black Mokona burped. "That was so good~! Very tasty~!"

"Tasty~! Tasty~!" The servants cried out quietly as they couldn't move.

"So," The white Mokona hiccupped. "What was that dark liquid stuff that Yuuko poured on the Sushi creature?"

The black Mokona smirked. "Age old Soy sauce and it hasn't even expired yet~!"

The four laughed as a small piece of seaweed was left alone on the ground.

Poor Creature didn't even had a chance.

* * *

**END**

* * *

Yeah i have no excuse for what seems to be a crack-ish oneshot. XD

**Don't forget to review, Check out my other stories and vote for fave T.R.C pairing on profile**

**Until Next Time~!  
**


	4. Bad taste in music

Another one up~! It should have been done sooner but i was dragged to go somewhere the day before. T_T

**This idea is credited to: Ocean Ann Midnight . Thank you so much~! **

**Warning: ...you all should know what to expect after at least two chapters of this stuff. XD**

**Disclaimer: don't own them; never will **

**Enjoy~! **

* * *

**Music is not always good for the soul, lest sanity would be on the line**

**

* * *

**Fai was walking around a city while humming a random tune. He was bored at the house so he decided to take a walk to past the time. He came across a place called a Music store. He stared at the place. Through the glass walls, he saw giant posters with groups of people and artwork plastered on them. Then his eyes trailed to the cut-off of people that he assumed were popular and saw bits of advertisements above them. It was nothing Fai had seen before and it excited him for some reason.

"Hyuu. I wonder what items that the store sells to the customers~?" Fai wondered outloud. Smiling, he entered the store.

Unaware of the path he just took.

* * *

"Hello sir; is there something you are looking for today?"

"Hmm…not really. I'm just looking around."

"Well okay then. Let me know if you need any help okay?"

"Hyuu~! Thank you so much~!"

Fai walked to the CD section of the store and looked over various cases to see what he could find. He checked all the 'genres' of music but none had captured his eye so far. Feeling a bit dejected, Fai wanted to find the worker to help him.

Then the speakers came on a blasted a song that changed Fai's life forever.

_Ra Ra Ra-a-ah,_

_Roma Ro-ma-ma,_

_Ga-Ga Oh la la,_

_Want your bad Romance._

Then the music started to play.

Fai was intrigued. It sounded like nothing he had ever heard before.

He must know what song it was.

"I wonder what the name of that song is." Fai said out-loud once again.

"It's called 'Bad Romance' by Lady Gaga."

Fai whipped his head to see a young woman with medium-length dark-brown hair who wore pink glasses looking up at him. "'Bad Romance' you say?"

The girl nodded. "Yeah. It's another one of Lady Gaga songs. She's been pretty popular over the last year." She explained. She then narrowed her eyes as she took in Fai's look of happy confusion. "You don't know who Lady Gaga is; do you?"

Fai smiled. "Nope~!"

The girl sighed. "Good. That's one less person to worry about I guess." She muttered.

"Excuse me?" Fai tilted his head in a cute-ish fashion.

"No it's nothing." She then took the album 'The Fame Monster' and showed it to him. "This is one of her CD's that are already in the market. It's been out for a while though." The cover art showed a woman with an interesting clothing and haircut covering her mouth while being in Noir-like scenery.

Fai looked at the CD. "So that's her?"

The girl nodded. "Yep. Though that's one of her 'faces' I guess you could say since she likes to be 'unique' and 'original'." She held out the album to the mage. "So do you want it?"

Fai smiled. "Yes. Thank you very much." He took the CD gratefully. "So how do you play this 'CD'?

"….." The girl was shocked. "You…don't know how to play a CD?"

"Well I came from a very rural place so I don't know much about the current technology here." Fai lied; he figured he would find out how this world functions; technology-wise.

The girl pushed her glasses up and sighed. "Okay then; let's try a different method." She caught sight of one of the workers. "Excuse me!"

The worker looked her way. "Yes miss?"

"Could you please direct me to the music players; I need something to play this CD here." She pointed to the CD Fai was holding.

"Sure." The worker gesture the two to follow. "This way please."

The girl grabbed Fai's hand and pulled him to the destination. "Now since you don't what a CD is; much less know how to play it, I'm sure you don't know what a music video is either right?"

Fai thought about it for a minute before shaking his head. "Nope~!"

The girl smirked. "Well then; you're in for a treat."

She had no idea what the outcome of the scenario would turn out to be.

* * *

A couple hours later Fai was back at the house. He sat down on the couch and listened to the CD the girl bought for him on the 'CD player'.

"_Hello hello baby, you called, I can't hear a thing_…." Fai mumbled the lyrics as he was tapping his foot on the ground. Next to him was a bag that held a thing called a 'DVD'. Taking the item out of the bag, he stood up and walked to the 'DVD player' and 'television' that came with the house. He pressed a button and a drawer popped out. Smirking, he opened the case and took out the disk and placed it in the slot. He pressed the button again and the slot closed. The 'DVD' started to play.

He stared at the woman's 'unique' way of dancing and her choice of movement. He took of the earplugs and placed the CD player on the floor and stared.

"I see. That's why that young woman called her original." Fai continued to watch as he saw those poor dogs being very uncomfortable on the video. (**1**) He thought about it and smiled. "Well if what I see is true, then this gives me the perfect idea for my wonderful family~!"

So for the next few hours Fai was practicing the dance moves that is Lady Gaga.

Unaware of what he will accomplish.

* * *

During the same time period the rest of the group were grocery shopping and came across the vampire twins; Subaru and Kamui. Sakura invited the two back to the house for Tea and snacks.

Subaru smiled and thank them.

Kamui just shrugged; not really caring.

So the whole group was walking back to the house as Syaoron was talking to Subaru. Sakura was joining on the conversation while carrying a sleeping Mokona in her arms. Kamui and Kurogane just exchanged glances every once in a while.

"So you guys are not immortal?' Syaoron asked.

"No not really; as purebloods we just aged very slowly." (**2**) Subaru helpfully explained.

Sakura slightly frowned. "But doesn't it get lonely though?"

Subaru shook his head with a smile. "No. As long as you have someone on your side; then it's not that bad. Eternity is like a flowing river; if you don't have anything to hold on to then it will pull you into the current." (**3**)

Syaoron was amazed. "Wow. That was an amazing analogy."

From the front of the group, Kamui snorted. "Subaru, stop quoting things from Vampire mangas."

Kurogane and Syaoron snickered while Subaru blushed in embarrassment.

"Kamui~! You're mean~!"

_Want your bad Romance._

Sakura looked up confusedly. "Hey guys; do you hear that?"

The rest perked up.

Kurogane looked at the girl with a raised eyebrow. "I don't hear anything."

_Ra Ra Ra-a-ah_

_Roma Ro-ma-ma_

_Gaga Oh La La_

_Want your bad romance._

Kamui looked around. "I think I hear it too."

Mokona slowly woke up in Sakura's arms and raised one of her ears. "That sound is coming from…."

They continued to hear the sound coming closer as they were closer to their destination.

The assumption sank in.

Everyone paled.

"THE HOUSE!"

* * *

Everyone quickly ran to the front door of the house with Kurogane quickly leading the way.

Kurogane bang the door with anger and fear. "Mage! Open the damn door! Mage!"

It was all in vain however as the music was blasting from the other side. What was worse was that they could hear Fai singing loudly to the music.

"_I want your love and your lover's revenge. You and me can have a bad romance! Oh whoa-whoa~!"_

Mokona held her ears. "Mokona's ears are hurting~!"

Subaru and Kamui were not faring well either. The proof was Kamui trying to bang his head on the wall and Subaru trying to stop him.

Sakura who seemed to be the only one unaffected; tapped Kurogane on the shoulder. "I think we should unlock the door and see if Fai's alright."

Kurogane whipped his head towards her and exclaimed loudly. "Duh! I didn't I think of that sooner!" He then quickly fumbled for the keys in his pocket as he vaguely heard Syaoron trying to calm Mokona down.

"Mokona stop hopping everywhere! You're going to get hurt!"

"But Mokona can't stop! It's too much!"

"Kamui stop it! You don't even know what it is!"

"Easy for you to say; how could you not be annoyed by this?"

"Please everyone just relax! Kurogane will get to the problem of the matter!"

Kurogane finally found the keys and turned around to see the rest of the group excluding Sakura either going insane or calming down the insanity. Having enough of this Kurogane growled. "WOULD YOU ALL JUST SHUT UP!"

Silence filled the room as everyone looked at Kurogane with shocked expression. Only the sound of the music was heard.

Kurogane sighed while rubbing his head. "Look. I'm going to unlock this door. Whatever is on the other side, we will not be big babies about it; got it!"

Everyone nodded.

"Good." Kurogane then placed the key inside the slot. "Now on the count of three." He turned the key and leaned his weight on the door. "One….two…THREE!" He pushed the door opened and everyone quickly followed.

What they saw before them shocked the very core of them.

"Fai….what are you wearing?" Sakura cried out.

Syaoron and Mokona fainted on the spot.

Before them Fai was wearing a white sparkly bikini with white high-heel boots. The top part of the bikini had a sleeve with a puffy piece of fabric on the left shoulder and he seemed to be covered in…

Blood?

No it can't be blood; otherwise the twins would've jumped him already.

No this outfit had the opposite effect.

Fai smiled. "Oh, I'm wearing this Lady Gaga outfit I made myself..though I did spilled some ketchup and now it's stained." He beamed at his accomplishment. "Don't you think it looks great on me?"

'_Oh for the love of f…'_ Kurogane thought as his eyebrow twitched. "Mage; where was the thought process in your stupid decision to do this?"

Thinking, Fai just grinned at the man. "Well I was bored."

Bored indeed.

The others couldn't blame him for this…..whatever you call it.

Bad things happen when Fai's bored.

Kamui was trying not to barf at the sight of Fai's outfit. "What the hell were you even listening to!"

Fai looked over to see the vampire twins and smiled. "Oh Hello there Kamui and Subaru!"

Subaru weakly waved back. "Um…Fai, the music we just heard; was it from this 'Lady Gaga' you spoke of just now?"

Nodding, Fai walked to the couch and pick up an album and showed it the rest while Kurogane picked up Syaoron and Mokona and laid them on the couch at the same time.

"It's from this music store I went to. I heard it over the speakers and this nice young lady informed me and bought me these wonderful things~!" He mentioned to the CD player, the DVD and the CD itself.

The twins, Kurogane and Sakura cringed.

The ninja thought of a million ways to kill the girl who brought this hell in front of them. That is if he would ever find her.

"So wizard, were you dancing to this music?" Kurogane asked.

Fai nodded. "Yep! I never felt this alive before~!" He walked towards the DVD player and pressed the play button. He then got into his position. "This is how she dances. Watch~!"

And they watched….and watched…..and stared.

**A/N: I'll leave the way he dances to your imagination/interpretation.**

Kamui was flabbergasted. _'That's dancing?'_

Subaru paled; almost looking like he was about to faint. _'I feel sorry for the rest of humanity.'_

Sakura was covering her mouth; trying to conceal her giggles. _'Fai, I hope I'm not being rude but that doesn't even look right!'_

Kurogane's expression was priceless. _'WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!'_

Fai then stopped dancing as soon the song ended. He then smiled at the group. "So; what do you think? Pretty good right~?"

"…." Everyone stared at him.

Kurogane calmly took the CD player, the DVD case and album and placed them on top of the DVD player. After a few seconds, He ripped the DVD player off the socket and walked to the window of their house. The without warning, He threw the materials out of the window; smashing the glass in the process.

The group silently cheered.

Fai was shocked. "Kuro-puu; what was that fo-wahh~!" Kurogane grabbed him by the top part of the outfit and dragged him to the bathroom.

The rest of the group watched as Fai smiled and Kurogane emanating an aura of destruction and death.

Subaru sighed as the pair disappeared from his line of sight. "Well I guess we should have that tea and snacks now."

Kamui growled. "Is this what you all have to go through with _him_?"

Sakura awkwardly smiled. "Well Fai's not _that _bad. Though he can go to the extreme."

The three shared a look and agreed to the statement.

From the couch, Syaoron and Mokona slowly began to wake up.

"Ugh…what happened? I thought I saw Fai in a bikini-like outfit with blood." Syaoron groan out as he rubbed his head in one hand and holding Mokona in another.

Subaru chuckled. "You did."

Kamui shifted his eyes. "Just be lucky that you didn't see what happened next?"

"…..What happened?" Syaoron couldn't help but ask as Sakura took Mokona in her arms.

"It's nothing to worry about Syaoron; though let's just say Kurogane did not take it well." The girl helpfully stated.

"Hey, where is Fai and Kuro-puu?" Mokona asked.

The sounds of water and glass breaking reached their ears.

"HOLD STILL MAGE!"

"WAHH~! Kuro-tan! You're being too rough~!"

"I SAID HOLD STILL SO I COULD DROWN YOU!"

"Haha~! Kuro-tan's angry again~!"

"MAGE!"

The rest of the group looked at each other and smiled.

"I guess we should never speak of this again?" Subaru suggested.

They nodded.

* * *

"So mage..what did you learned today?"

Sitting on the tile floor with a towel covering him; Fai awkwardly smiled. "Never take anything from strangers no matter how good the offer is."

"And?"

"And I should reconsider what I do in case I ever get bored."

"And?"

"…and what I wore is not considered to be great if stained by ketchup."

Sighing, Kurogane patted Fai on the head. "Damn mage, you gave us a freaking scare there."

"Sorry." Fai apologized. He then looked at the shreds of white material that used to be the outfit. "But was it really necessary to slice the outfit?"

Kurogane looked at the pile. "That," He pointed at the mass. "Is not even _close _to an outfit; that shouldn't even be called clothes."

Fai chuckled. "Kuro-puu…."

"Yeah?"

"Do you really hate the music and the dancing?"

Kurogane looked away as he came up with an answer. "Let's just say that a few minutes more and the whole room would've been destroyed."

Fai couldn't help but smiled as Kurogane smirked.

"I see."

* * *

Outside of the house, the same girl who was in the music store was walking down the street when she saw a small pile of broken technology. Curious; she walked towards it and checked the damage.

"Wow. I guess he didn't like it after all." She then looked up and saw a big hole on one of the windows. "And I'm guessing the rest didn't like it either."

She then walked away from the wreckage and took out her cell phone and dialed a certain number and waited for the other side to answer.

She heard the person pick up the phone.

"Hello Yuuko?….Yeah they didn't like it."

Understatement of the day.

* * *

**END**

**

* * *

**

Yeah...XD

**(1)- My sister ( I. Jinx) said that to me when she saw the music video for 'Poker Face'. i didn't believe her until i saw it myself. Poor Dogs. XD**

**(2)- i don't know if it's accurate but in Tokyo Revelations *the third one* Yuuko said that vampires are not immortal but age very slowly; especially for purebloods i guess. ^_^  
**

**(3)- It was a quote *i guess you can say* from a manga called 'Dance in the Vampire Bund' and yes it is a vampire manga and a good one i should say. It might be a bit too mature for some but the plotline is very good and you should read it when you all have the opportunity. ^_^ and watch the anime too if you like.  
**

**Don't forget to review, check out my other stories and vote for fave T.R.C Pairing on profile.**

**Until Next Time~!  
**


	5. Knowing more doesn't help

Is this one crackish?...yes. XD I bit shorter then the other ones but for a good reason. i don't like stretching out a short idea: then it would not be as funny.

_Inspiration: _I was eating an ostrich burger when this idea came into my head...yes an Ostrich burger. And a random Gordon Ramsey's 'The F Word' episode that i watched came into my head as well. It was on Ostriches and the benefits of eating the meat. Weird i know but the burger was good. *shrugs*

**Warning: the usual: PROCEED WITH CAUTION! XD**

**Disclaimer: don't own them; never will**

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

**Knowledge is power and can be used on unsuspecting ninjas.**

**

* * *

**Fai was shopping around a huge market place; looking for food to buy for his beloved family while they search for the feather. He brought Mokona with him so he can both talk to her and to have someone assist him in his plans to anger their favorite ninja.

After buying some fruits and vegetables; he and Mokona walked pass a weird looking shop. The shop caught Mokona's eye as she gently tugged Fai's shoulder; guiding him back to the front of that shop. "Wait Fai, I see something interesting in that shop over there~!"

Fai, who couldn't say 'no' to the white creature, smiled as he turned around. "Really~? Let's have a look, shall we~?" He started to walk back towards the shop as an old man who running the shop smiled at the upcoming customer.

"Why hello there sir, welcome to my humble shop." He opened his arms wide; gesturing to the items he was selling. "Behind me are some of the most unusual items that you won't see anywhere else!" True to his word, behind the man were several unique items such as artifacts, precious jewels and rare food that even after the world traveling he has never even seen before.

Mokona was ecstatic. As she looked around the shop, her eyes trailed to a certain item. "Hyuu~! Excuse me sir, what is that giant egg for~?"

The old man gasped as he heard Mokona talked. "What is that thing sir?"

The white creature pouted. "Not a thing; Mo-ko-na~!"

Fai chuckled. "I'm sorry sir. Her name's Mokona. She's my friend and shopping companion." He didn't give the shopkeeper the time to dwell as he pointed to the item Mokona mentioned about just mere moments ago. "Now my good sir, I want to take a closer look of that egg please."

Coming out of his moment of confusion, the man smiled as he took the giant egg from the shelf and held it close for Fai to see. "This is called an Ostrich egg. The ostrich is the biggest bird in the world. It can run up to 40mph, also making them the fastest bird on the world."

Fai nodded as a confused smile came across his face. "But why would a bird like that felt the need to run; don't they have wings to fly?"

The man's smile widened. "Well you see being the biggest bird has some drawbacks such as its mass; it's too big to actually fly to they have to rely on running to avoid natural predators." He then rubbed the egg gently. "They even lay eggs as huge as this baby here. Their shells are rather thick so they don't break easily. Unfortunately, there are _some_ people who would test it out and it usually resulted in a gooey mess."

Mokona and Fai let the info sink in as they shared an evil smile. They looked at each other before looking back at the man.

"You don't say." Fai said, feeling a plan enter in his mind. "So if I were to buy this interesting item; how much would it cost?"

The man thought about before smiling. "Well since you are a nice young man who took his time listening to an old man like me; I would give this away for free." He gave Fai the egg as Mokona did a happy dance on his shoulder.

"Thank you very much sir." Fai said as he slightly bowed to him before walking off with Mokona waving at him.

The man waved back as a smile appeared on his face. "It's nice to see that _some_ people can appreciate good knowledge nowadays."

Little did he know that while Fai and Mokona did appreciate the facts he gave them, he was unaware of the prank he unknowingly helped on.

* * *

Back at their temporary house, Fai finished cooking his 'family' dinner while Mokona was pushing the egg back and forth very softly.

"This egg is so huge isn't it Fai~?"

Fai giggled. "I know; I've never see an egg in that size before and that nice old man filled us in on those wonderful facts as well." He then smirked as he turned off the stove and covered the pots before making his way to Mokona and the egg. "So Mokona, did you had the same thought as I did earlier~?"

"Oh I sure did Fai-mommy~!" The white creature smirked back.

"So shall we put our plan into action for our sweet lovable Kuro~?"

Mokona giggled as she nodded. "Yeah~!"

Poor Kurogane didn't saw it coming.

* * *

After a couple of hours later, the rest of the group returned. Kurogane came into the house first as he grumbled.

Syaoron and Sakura hurriedly followed them with eyes filled with worry.

"Kurogane; it wasn't that bad!" Syaoron helplessly stated.

The ninja turned around; glaring at the boy while said boy cowered. "Of course it was that bad! How the hell was it any good!"

Fai came into the scene with Mokona in his arms. "What's all the fuss about this time?" He would've sounded serious if not for the smile that was itching to spread on his face.

Sakura made her way towards Fai and nervously smiled. "Well Fai, you see…we came across some trouble."

Raising an eyebrow at Kurogane, Fai smiled. "Okay Kuro-rin; what did you do this time~?"

Kurogane growled. "It's Kurogane you idiot and I didn't do anything!"

Fai looked at Syaoron. "Well?"

Syaoron sighed. "Kurogane kinda got into a fight with a bunch of locals because he turned down a girl who asked him out." He looked away in time for Kurogane glaring darkly at him.

Mokona giggled. "Aww~! Kuro-puu was asked by a girl~! That's a first~!"

"I'm guessing Kuro-Kuro here didn't let her down gently and that's how the group of locals, huh~?" It took all of Fai's energy not to laugh loudly at Kurogane.

Kurogane scoffed as he stomped his way away from the group and out of the room. "Freaking ridiculous; I'm leaving!"

As soon Kurogane was out of Fai's sight, he turned his attention to his 'children'. "Now that Kuro-pon's gone; there's something I need to tell you two about."

Syaoron already felt an uneasy feeling in his stomach. "Fai…Mokona, what did you two do this time?"

His uneasy feeling increased as he saw a pair of dark smiles before him.

Sakura gulped.

"Oh dear."

* * *

Inside his bedroom, Kurogane was staring at a giant egg that was in his room somehow and in front of his bed on less.

"What the hell….." Kurogane walked towards the egg and nudged it a bit. Sighing in relief, he can conclude that it was a regular egg and not one of the mage's tricks. "But why in the name of Kami would there be a freaking egg in my room?" Next to the egg he saw a note lying next to it. Curious, Kurogane picked the note off the floor and read the contents inside.

_This egg is a legendary item that was passed down for generations. If you see this egg before you then you have been chosen to take a test of strength. If you can stand on this egg and avoid breaking it then you are a strong man worthy of anything. But if the egg should break, you will be ridicule by those around you. Will you take this challenge? Only you will know the answer._

_-The egg spirit_

"…."Kurogane look back and forth towards the egg and the note. He was rather skeptical about the whole 'strength challenge'…..thing. But then again it might be true. The note doesn't appear to have been written by either the mage or the cream puff as it wasn't in their hand-writing. "Ah screw it. If it'll prove that I'm strong then this should be no big deal." He dropped the note and walked towards the egg.

Staring at it, Kurogane slowly placed one foot on the egg and put some weight on it. Thanking god it didn't break instantly; Kurogane then put his other foot on the egg and gently stood on the egg, balancing his weight to hold himself upright. He swayed back and forth before standing still on the egg. He looked down and saw that the egg didn't break. He smirked.

"Hell yes; I am a strong warrior! Take that idiot mage! Stuff it Pork bun!" He shouted out; his pride swelling up.

However, his victory was short lived as his shouting caused the egg to move violently under him, causing him to fall back.

"Wha-WHOA!" Kurogane fell to the floor and as he fell he heard a loud crack as his back hit the floor. Groaning, He lifted his upper body and looked at the floor and saw egg goo on the wood planks and on his back. "Oh dear god!" He stood up too quickly in time to fall again, this time face first into the goo. "GOD DAMN IT!"

This happened repeatedly for 10 minutes.

* * *

"Fai?"

"Yes, Syaoron?"

"You realize that Kurogane will find out the whole 'Egg' thing right?"

"Yes, yes I am aware but it is worth it; right Mokona~?"

A giggle. "Uh-huh~!"

A sigh. "And the note?"

"The dimensional witch had Wata-kun write down the note."

A series of thumps and shouting reached their ears. Sakura looked up at the ceiling; worrying about the warrior.

A shake of the head. "Fai, you're never going to stop messing with Kurogane are you?"

A smile. "Well Syaoron I guess that's all up to me, now is it?"

A sigh. "Fai…."

* * *

The good part was that no one else saw Kurogane at his worst.

The bad part was that Mokona secretly hid a video camera inside the room before the whole fiasco.

The worst part was that Mokona sent it to Yuuko where she posted it on the internet for all the worlds and several others to see.

It was titled 'What happens when ninjas lack knowledge'.

**END**

**

* * *

**

**Don't forget to review and check out my other stories! **

**Notice!: I changed the voting on profile. Those who have Read/favored/alerted 'Anything But Simple' i have a poll that i posted concerning a Horitsuba pairing that might/might not be in the story. Please vote on my profile and it will be close as soon as i post part three of the new arc! Hurry and vote~!**

**Until next time~!  
**


	6. Twins and an off day

I was having an Off-day so Kurogane had an off-day as well. ^_^

But don't worry the next chapter will be better; i promise!

_Inspiration: A part in one of the episodes of 'Lucky Star' when Konata was asking her twin friends Tsukasa and Kagami if they are identical twins or not. _

**Warning: the usual but a bit less on the language part this time. not only that but it's Horitsuba universe this time as well.**

**Disclaimer: don't own them; never will**

**Enjoy~!  
**

* * *

**Twins do not equal telepathy, they equal confusion.**

**

* * *

**Kurogane was calmly sipping his green tea when he looked at the Fluorite twins with a raised eyebrow. "So, what kind of twins are you two?"

Yuui, Fai and Kurogane were in the gym office having a rather quiet time just drinking tea and enjoying the nice quiet atmosphere. That was the case until it was surprisingly Kurogane who broke the silence.

Yuui, who was the calm twin, looked at his older brother and then back at Kurogane. "We actually thought that you would know the answer to that. I mean it's pretty obvious."

Fai nodded. "Yeah Kuro-pon, since you are the only one who can tell us apart we figured you would know by now." He smiled as the nickname caused an angry mark on Kurogane's forehead.

Clearing his throat while calming down, Kurogane shook his head. "No. I mean you two could be two-egg twins and not even know it. The damn definition of identical and fraternal twins has changed too many times." He grumbled as he drank the rest of his tea.

The twins looked at each other. He did have a point. Too many terms have been changed over the years; this was no exception.

Leaning back on his chair, Kurogane looked at Yuui intently. "I wonder what Yuui would look like if he cut his hair and had the same personality…

* * *

_Kurogane imagines Yuui with Fai's puppy dog eyes and pouting very cutely._

"_Oh~! Kuro-puu~!"_

_

* * *

_The gym teacher grimaced. "Oh hell no, that's the last thing I need, another happy-go-lucky moron."

Yuui's eyebrow twitched while Fai held back a laugh.

"Well even for identical twins, their personalities would be completely different; wouldn't you say Kurogane?" The cooking teacher asked.

"And that fraternal twins are usually a girl and a boy. Both it can imply to same gender as well." Fai added. He then smirked as Kurogane's face showed a faint blush. "Unless you mistook one of us as a woman after all this time~!"

Kurogane's blush brightened tremendously. "HELL NO! WHAT MADE YOU SAY THAT!"

Fai laughed as Yuui hid an amusing smile.

Shaking his head; trying to fight down the blush, Kurogane sighed angrily. "So back to the twin issue; so you both are identical twins right?"

The two nodded.

Kurogane nodded as well. "Okay then. I just need to confirm a few things about opposite personalities." Before he could think of a question to ask, there was a knock on the door. "Come in!" He called out.

The door opened to reveal the other twins of the academy; the Li twins; Syaoron and Syao-kun.

"Good morning sirs." Syaoron said while formally bowing to the adults.

"What's up?" Syao-kun, Syaoron's older twin, greeted with a grin.

Fai clasped his hands in glee. "Why look, it's Syaoron and Syao-kun~! So what do you guys need on this fine day~?"

Yuui shifted his eyes and saw that Fai was avoiding the previous matter; not because it was too personal.

But because he was getting bored and getting bored fast.

"Um well we have forms for our after-school programs. Nii-san wants to be in the basketball club and I opted for soccer again." Syaoron gave Kurogane the papers for him to look over.

"Okay then." Kurogane stood up and placed the sheets on his desk. "I'll make sure that the coaches get this before the new semester."

The younger twin thanked him but before they moved an inch, Kurogane waved them over.

"Come here for a sec." The gym teacher commanded. "I need you two for something."

Confused, the Li twins made their way to the table and took a couple of chairs before sitting down.

Fai stared at Kurogane with a forced smile. "Kuro-rin-sensei, don't you think that they shouldn't be involved in this matter; they have classes to attend to you know."

Kurogane scoffed. "Nice try idiot; you're not getting out of this one and besides," He leaned back into his chair slightly. "That hasn't stopped you from the times that you held students up for your own freaking entertainment." He smirked.

The science teacher was about to retort playfully when Yuui beat him to it.

"Well then I guess you and brother are two of a kind right?" the cooking teacher smirked. "Since you are doing the exact same thing right now and all."

Syao-kun snickered while Syaoron looked somewhere else to avoid eye-contact with Kurogane.

"That's beside the point Yuui!"The gym teacher shouted out. "Now then, can you four use telepathy?"

Now the twins thought that Kurogane's mind just took a detour to 'are-you-insane?' land.

"Um…what do you mean by that Kurogane-sensei?" Syaoron asked; feeling a bit concern for the man. He looked at his older twin and he had the same line of thought as well.

Kurogane looked at the brown-haired twins and snapped his fingers. "That's exactly what I'm talking about." He then went to his desk and took out an old newspaper and threw it on the table for all of them to see.

* * *

_**Boy saves his twin from death**_

_On XXXXX around XXXX, xxxxx was doing the dishes in the family home when according to the mother drop one of the plates and gasped. Suddenly he quickly went to his mom and told her that he needed to go to his twin. _

_When the mother was questioned after the incident, she said that she had never seen her child so scared and frantic. However as ludicrous as it was, they arrived at the scene only to see her other child backed into the wall by the culprit with a knife in the hand._

_The culprit was caught and captured while the twins were safe in each others' arms._

"_I was so lucky." Xxxxx said as he told one of the news reporters. "My twin brother came to my rescue just because he could sense me being in danger. I'm glad that I'm alive today to tell this."_

_Shortly after the incident, researchers and psychologists started to find out if twins possessed a mental link between each other to know when one of them was in danger._

_However some would say that it was sheer dumb luck while others disagree with… _

_

* * *

_The four looked at Kurogane who had a victorious smirk as he made his way back to the table. "You see?"

Fai hyuu-ed. "That's quite some story Kuro-puu-sensei~!"

Yuui nodded. "Well I guess you do have a reason for the 'twin' issue and wanted to discuss it with us 'Twins'." He gestured to himself and Fai along with Syaoron and Syao-kun.

"Duh." Kurogane simply stated before sighing. "So do you four have that link with your twin or not?"

Yuui and Fai smiled as they looked at each other.

"Well, we don't have a link exactly but we do know when one of us is doing something that _he _shouldn't do." Yuui then half-glared at Fai who found the tile floor very interesting at that exact moment.

'_I guess I couldn't argue with that.' _Kurogane thought as Fai was inching away from his little brother.

Syao-kun wrapped his arm around Syaoron's shoulders. "Well for us, we don't have much of a link. However there was that one time that my lil' bro here accidently went into the girls bathroom and-"

Syaoron tackled him before he got the chance to finish that sentence.

Kurogane watched the twins more or less eating at each other for a few minutes before slamming his fist on the table; startling the four. "Could we get back to the damn topic now?"

Four nods in response as they straightened up.

Kurogane sighed before clearing his throat. "Okay, so now I know you four are two pairs of identical twins. Now the next question would be the personalities of said twins." He looked at Yuui and Fai. He smirked. "Okay I'll ask you two to know for sure."

The fluorite twins nodded.

'_Now for some payback.' _ Kurogane thought of a question to ask. "Okay then: do you like sweets?"

"Of course I like sweets Kuro-buro-sensei; you know that." Fai responded with a smile; loving the sight of an irritated gym teacher.

"I guess." Yuui shrugged.

Nodding; Kurogane turned to Syaoron. "Okay kid; your turn to ask a question."

"Eh?" Syaoron looked at his twin who nodded before looking uncertainly at Yuui and Fai. "Okay; are you both left-handed?"

Fai nodded. "Yep~!"

"Yeah." Yuui responded.

Then Syao-kun smirked. "Okay then my turn. Now what is your favorite color?"

Fai smiled brightly. "My favorite color's white~!"

"Mine's black." Yuui answered.

Syao-kun evilly smiled. "Just like your souls right?" (**1**)

Yuui and Fai were flabbergasted. "What?"

"Congratulations; you managed to make them say something in perfect sync." Kurogane stated while smirking faintly.

Yuui shook his head. "I believe you are misunderstanding about what we just said."

"Nope. I 'm sure that your soul is black and Fai-sensei's soul is white." Syao-kun explained while fighting the urge to smile.

Fai and Syaoron caught on to the joke and tried not to laugh. They failed miserably.

Yuui on the other hand was oblivious. "Wait, just because my favorite color is black doesn't mean that my soul is!"

"No no no~! I believe it is little brother." Fai teased with a grin. He playfully cowered as Yuui gave him a dark look. "Wahh~! I can see Yuui's soul and it's blacker then Kuro-sama-sensei's coffee~!"

"That's not funny Fai!" Yuui shouted; only making Fai's laughter even louder.

Syaoron looked over at Kurogane and frown. "Was there really a point to all of this?"

Kurogane shook his head. "No not really. I just wanted to annoy Yuui for once; just to see what kind of an angry person he is." He chuckled to himself as he saw Yuui shouting at Fai who in turn was trying to hug Syao-kun; playfully pleading him to save him from the evil twin.

Syaoron sighed. _'I never thought that Kurogane-sensei would even go that far. Though it was a nice set-up. I wonder why he didn't ask me and Nii-san.'_

As if reading his mind; Kurogane scoffed. "You can be too serious about a lot of things kid and besides, I have seen the injuries you both have."

Syaoron was about to say something else when Syao-kun spoke up.

"So Kurogane-sensei; do you want to know about I said earlier about lil' bro accidently going into the girls bathroom and then he-"

Syao-kun was again tackled by his younger twin who was blushing heavily.

While that was going on, Yuuko just entered unannounced as she made her way to the teapot and added water. She looked at a scene with unreadable expression then looked at Kurogane. "Having an off-day?"

Kurogane shrugged; not even turning to the chairman. "You could say that."

"Just make sure you give me back that fake newspaper when you're done." She said as she poured herself a cup.

"Sure."

Kurogane then concluded that he was _so_ glad that he didn't have a twin.

Though it would be funny to confuse the crap out of people if that would happen.

* * *

**END**

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* * *

**Yep, an off-day. i bet you everyone has that day at some point in their lives. ^_^

**(1)-funniest line that Konata has said EVER. XD**

**Don't forget to review and check out my other stories.**

**and vote on my profile if you want YuuiSyao or not in the later chapters of 'Anything But Simple'. I need to know before i post part three of the arc.**

**Until Next Time~!  
**


	7. Not a good way to start your evening

Okay~! Next one up~! This one was from a Fanart by (_**_Ptit_Neko**_) on **DA**. I was so amazed by her artwork and the fact that she crossed over Tsubasa/XXXHolic with Chobits...in a way. Though i altered a few things. ^_^

This one though was from a short comic that she drew about Doumeki being the android ( i know it's not completely accurate but please don't hate me for it) and Watanuki being the person who's stuck with him.

So yeah, in a way it's a XXXHolic/Chobits mash oneshot. Don't worry it's not as complicated as it sounded. and a couple of Tsubasa characters are in this as well.

**Warning: a bit of DouWata, Could/could not be KuroFai *again whatever floats your boat* , not so crackish but still funny humor , a brief mention of a character from Chobits and language from Watanuki. *scary huh?* **

**Disclaimer: Don't own them; never will**

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

**Enhancements are not always a good thing; no matter how much you would whine it would**

**

* * *

**[In the distant alter-future]

Watanuki had never been so excited. Today was the day that he will get his very own android. He had waited for god knows how long. He walked down the pathway to his apartment where the landlady Yuuko was sweeping the outer grounds of the grounds.

She looked up from her daily chore and smiled as she saw Watanuki returning home after a long day at school. "Well good afternoon Watanuki. It's nice to see you back. Though I wish I saw you leave for school this morning but you weren't there."

Watanuki waved at her. "And a good afternoon to you too." He rubbed his head in mild embarrassment. "Yeah, I couldn't sleep last night so I went to school very early so I could keep my mind off of…you know…" He trailed off with a happy but distant look.

Yuuko nodded. "I see. Well the thing you were just talking about; it arrived just a couple hours ago." Her smile brightened as she pointed to the main building. "I had them sent into your room while you were away. I hope you don't mind."

Watanuki's whole attitude was suddenly uplifted as he cheered up at the sky and gave Yuuko a warm hug. "Oh thank you, thank you, thank you so much Yuuko~!" He quickly ran towards the apartments. "I'll see you later Yuuko~!"

Yuuko waved back as Watanuki went inside the building. As soon as he was out of her sight, her smile became a smirk. "Well I hope he has the time of his life~!" She giggled as she continued to sweep the ground; humming as she swept.

* * *

Watanuki went up the stairs in a cheerful. Oh, how he could not wait to see his android. Once he got to the seventh floor of the building he saw one of his neighbors. "Ah! Kurogane!"

The person in question spotted him and gave a curt wave. "Yo."

Watanuki saw that Kurogane had one of Yuuko's oldest creations on his shoulder; the manjuu communicator. She only created two of them before retiring her position as the head of the most influential and powerful android company in the world. She gave Kurogane the white one when he first moved in while Watanuki was given the black one when he was a kid.

Kurogane looked at the communicator then back at Watanuki. "How's school?" He wasn't the one for small talk but for one reason or another Watanuki along with very few others was the exception.

The young boy smiled. "It was great." His smile widened a fraction. "But right now I'm waiting to get to my android that Yuuko built and sent to me personally." He pointed to the room where Kurogane lived. "So how's Fai doing?"

The older man shrugged. "He's doing fine. As fine as any moron advance android would be." Just then the Manjuu communicator was up and jumping up and down. "Urgent message! Urgent message! From Syaoron!" Kurogane sighed. "Fine. Patch it through." The manjuu blinked once before a new voice occupied its mouth. _"Kurogane!"_

"Yes, what is it now Syaoron?" Kurogane was having a migraine and he didn't even know what just happened yet. There was a brief silence before Syaoron came back on. _"It's Fai again. He just decorated the house with pink frills and lots of ribbons! There was so much stuff around; I lost Sakura in the whole fiasco! Please Kurogane; I need help!"_

Watanuki was no expert on reading people's faces but form the look of Kurogane heavily pulsing forehead and grinding teeth that he was just a little miffed.

Kurogane then took a deep breath. "Fine. I'll be there in a sec."

"_Oh thank you Kurogane! Thank you very m-no Fai, you can't do that to your wires! You'll-" _ The call was cut before the poor kid could finish whatever warning he was trying to address. Kurogane growled before turning his attention to Watanuki. "Okay you know the drill: if you hear screaming and yelling…."

"I would say that it was the malfunctioning of the toaster again." Watanuki finished with a knowing smile.

Kurogane waved at him before patting the manjuu on the head. "Okay then, I'll see you later." Kurogane walked away calmly with the manjuu waving in glee.

Watanuki waved back before thinking about something. "Um…what was I doing again…oh!" He remembered. "My android~!" He ran to his door. He took his home key and placed into the slot before turning the doorknob.

* * *

Upon opening the door, Watanuki was greeted by the other Manjuu who was waiting right in front of the door.

"Yay~! Watanuki's home~! Welcome back Watanuki~!" It cheered as it jumped and landed on the human's shoulder.

Watanuki patted the manjuu gently with a small smile. "I'm back. How was your day Mokona?"

Mokona jumped from the shoulder and pointed near the living room window with a grin. "This ~huge~ package just came in~! Yuuko came here and tell me to tell you that in case she couldn't tell you herself~!"

Watanuki beamed happily as he went towards the package and started to open it. "Now let's see what kind of android I got?" He opened the inner case and gasped.

"Wow."

* * *

"Series: Advanced android. Number: 6492 Name: Shizuka Doumeki." Watanuki read the information from the manual as the android in question was kneeling in front of him. "It has the capabilities of any routine program such as cleaning and cooking." He looked at the android, who had yet to change his expression. "However as an advance android; this model can dream, feel, and think on his/her own. Make sure you do not take advantage of any of the three while programming the android or the consequences will be immediate."

Watanuki gulped before looking at his own android. He smiled at the expressionless look. "Now let's see if we can enhance your physical expressions a bit." He dug into the package and took out a flat and small keyboard. "Okay…let's see…" He looked at the android's rather odd looking ears on his head. They kind of looked like what Hideki's advanced android had. "Now, the manual said that to chance the android's expressions I should press the red button for anger."

Mokona was leaning on Watanuki's leg in anticipation. "Well what are you waiting for~? Press it~!"

Watanuki nodded happily as he pressed the button and the two waited for a reaction.

Nothing happened.

Then out of nowhere Doumeki's ears twitched in an angry motion. Then back to nothing.

Watanuki was flabbergasted. "…What the hell just happened?" He then looked back at the keyboard. "Maybe it was a small glitch. Now what about Happy~?" He pressed the yellow button.

Then he and the black manjuu waited.

Again nothing.

Suddenly, a double twitch on the ears in a joyous manner. Then back to nothing.

The young boy was beyond shock. Can't this android even crack a smile?

He wanted to press a couple more buttons just to make sure that the android wasn't broken during shipment. "Okay, now I'm going to get serious about this! I will see if he can express facial emotions, damn it!"

The black Mokona cheered in encouragement "Go go go~!"

* * *

"You got to be kidding me!"

After pressing several buttons, Watanuki wasn't able to make Doumeki to make facial expressions. Only the ears-the damn ears- moved at whatever emotion the android was expressing.

"Facial enhancement, my ass!" Watanuki finally cursed out. He was too stressed to hold back his language.

The black manjuu on the other hand was having a blast. "Whoo~! Doumeki is a great actor~!"

"That's just stupid! What kind of actor would have a blank face for _everything!_" He was complaining loudly that he didn't notice that Doumeki wrapped his arms around his waist. "Wahh~!" He screamed. "What the hell you're doing! Get off me now!"

Doumeki didn't say anything but his ears twitched in content. "I figured you needed a hug since you were failing and screaming like a moron."

Watanuki turned his head and glared. "How the hell would you know that and how freaking advanced are you!"

Doumeki shrugged. "Just advanced to know that my 'master' needed to calm down and accept what he got." He saw Watanuki's eyes going through several feelings before sighing and leaning back on Doumeki's chest. "Dear god, what have I gotten myself into?"

The stoic android's ears twitched in amusement. "I wouldn't worry about." Then he did what Watanuki thought would be impossible to do.

The android smiled.

Watanuki jumped out of the arms and pointed. "Y-y-you just smiled!"

"No I didn't." The android's face quickly came back to a blank expression.

"Yes you did! Just now!"

"Maybe it was your imagination."

"It was not you jerk! Take that back!"

Mokona was laughing all through the whole situation but couldn't help but feel happy now that Watanuki has a special someone to be with from now on.

* * *

Yuuko sat on her couch; drinking a bottle of sake when she heard the shouting and the yelling coming from her window. "Ah. It seems that Watanuki was not prepared for him but alas it was _Hitsuzen _either way." She took another swing at the sake when the whole room shook and sounds of loud thumping was heard as well. "And I supposed Kurogane had to deal with the adorable Fai again~! And to think he would've have been more grateful for that android." The tone of her voice was serious but the smirk on her face said otherwise.

Just because she was retired doesn't mean the fun would end there.

* * *

**END**

* * *

Believe me, when i saw the artwork i was laughing at Doumeki's...ears. i was going 'the ears! oh god the ears!'

**Don't forget to review, check out my other stories and vote whether or not you readers want YuuiSyao in 'Anything But Simple'. I will announce the closing of the poll in one of the later chapters of the ongoing ones~!**

**Until Next Time~!  
**


	8. Can you draw?

Here you go, next one up~!

_Inspiration: Kurogane's been the kind of person would can wield a sword but can't cook worth anything. Then a thought came into my head; can he draw? I like to think that the answer's no for some odd reason. Can't see him as the type of guy who t the drawings that Kobato did came into my head as well.  
_

**Warning: ****Aggressive ****Kurogane (but hey what's new there?), Syaoron being the victim (again, what's new?), language and other stuff that i don't feel like pointing out.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own them; never will~!**

**Enjoy~!  
**

* * *

**The pen is mightier than the sword; the proof is on the paper**

**

* * *

**Syaoron was never the type of person to exploit one's lack of certain skills whether it would be cooking, cleaning or in his own case the ability not to blush every time Sakura smiles.

However as the curious archeologist he was, he couldn't help but think about what Kurogane's lack of certain skills. He knew right off the bat that the ninja can't cook; for one reason or another, doesn't bake (whether or not Fai was the cause of that Syaoron could not be sure) and could not make anything out of his own two hands unless it was to repair something or involved a sword.

But there was one certain skill that Syaoron couldn't help but think about when he thought of the ninja and he also thought he should ask the ninja up front about. It seemed the best way to get an answer from him.

* * *

"So Kurogane, can you draw?"

"…What?" Kurogane and Syaoron were relaxing around the kitchen table while Fai, Sakura and Mokona were out doing some shopping. The ninja was about to enjoy his black cup of coffee when he heard Syaoron's rather random question. "What possessed you to ask that?"

Syaoron shrugged. "Just curious I guess." He fiddled his fingers on the table; feeling very small under Kurogane's watchful gaze. "I just figured that since that you came from a prosperous world that you might be able to draw something on paper."

"Is that so?" The warrior took a swing of his coffee before placing on the table. "And the wizard and the pork bun didn't put you up to this right?" He had known from time to time that Syaoron can become an unwilling accomplice when Fai and Mokona are involved in some hoax to humiliate the man. He just wanted to make sure that wasn't the case.

"No sir, I'm asking this question out of my own will." The boy's eyes hardened with so much determination that it almost surprised the warrior.

Sighing, Kurogane tapped his finger on the surface of the table. "Fine then. Since you are so damn persistent, get me a stack of paper and some pens and we'll find out together."

"Okay!" Syaoron exclaimed happily as he left the room to grab the selected items.

Kurogane looked at where Syaoron's presence was and groaned at the sudden thought. "Oh man, what the hell did I got myself into now?"

* * *

After getting some pens and paper, the two men starting drawing whatever came to mind. For Syaoron it was not all that difficult. Since he was used to drawing out maps and seeing things once and burning them to memory all it took was a bit mind digging and precision.

Kurogane on the other hand…

"God damn it!" He crumbled another piece of paper and threw in on the ground. It was only been twenty minutes and already there was a small pile of crumbled-up paper surrounding the ninja's feet. "Why can't I draw this!"

"Um, Kurogane, don't you think you're taking my question a bit too seriously?" Syaoron already had a small neatly stack of paper next to him.

Kurogane glared. "Of course not! I'm just trying to get this damn circle right! Fucking hell!" He half-screamed the statement as the pen was planted harshly on paper.

Syaoron blinked. _'I guess Yuuko was right about one thing. Kurogane's title of stubbornness is well deserved.' _ He then put the finishing touches on his recent drawing and smiled. "There. All done." He then showed the drawing to Kurogane. "What do you think of this?"It was a scenery picture of a cherry blossom tree with the flowers in bloom. He titled the drawing 'Sakura' in dedication to his kind and loving princess while his unique signature was scribbled on the right hand corner.

"…That's actually pretty good kid." Kurogane couldn't help but feel a bit jealous of Syaoron's handywork. Just another thing that the kid can do.

Syaoron smiled at his sword master. "So, may I see your drawing?" He was mildly surprised when he saw Kurogane's face go into the look of horror; paleness and all. "Um…is everything okay?"

"…." Kurogane glanced at the paper then back at Syaoron. He flipped the paper and showed it to the young man. "Here. It's the best I can do."

Looking at Kurogane's drawing, Syaoron couldn't but tilt his head; as if the drawing was originally drawn from that angle. "Um Kurogane….is that a….penguin?"

Kurogane quickly took back the picture and glared at it. "….is…no..penguin."

"I'm sorry?" Syaoron could've sworn that the taller man said something.

"It's not a..pen…"

"I'm really sorry but could you speak a bit louder please?"

Slamming the paper on the table, Kurogane clenched his hands into fists. "I SAID IT'S NOT A PENGUIN DAMN IT!"

Syaoron immediately ducked under the table with a yelp. He peaked over in fear. "I-I'm sorry! I thought it was; honest!"

What Kurogane's drawing consisted of was an oddly shaped creature with a fat lump sticking out from one end and had black beady eyes on another. Syaoron really thought it was a penguin from its shape.

Kurogane growled as some of his anger dispersed. "It's okay kid. Now get out from under the table; you look like the damn pork bun."

Slowly Syaoron got out from under the table and sat back down quietly. "I see. Um…may I ask what it really a drawing of?"

Picking up the paper, Kurogane sighed as he slightly blushed. "It was supposed to be a little rabbit."

'_Oh….so that's what it was.' _Now that Kurogane pointed it out, Syaoron can see the rabbit; if just a bit. "Well it's a nice drawing of the rabbit." He commented politely; in fear of provoking the ninja and thus angering him again.

"You don't have to lie about how _good_ my drawing is." Kurogane crossed his arms.

Syaoron sighed in relief. _'Well that's one thing that is off my chest.' _ He then smiled reassuringly at the ninja. "Well I'm sure that with enough practice; you might be a better drawing then Fai like I am with my sword practicing; if I practice enough I'll become a better fighter."

**A/N: The day Kurogane actually draws better then Fai is when Yuuko quits Alcohol cold-turkey: nothing but a fleeting dream. *smirks***

Kurogane thought about what Syaoron just said and slowly had an evil smirk on his face. "So…how about we 'practice' on this a bit longer kid?"

Syaoron gulped. He didn't like that smirk one bit. "O-Okay then."

* * *

It was a few hours later when the rest of the group returned. Fai walked in with groceries in both arms while pushing the door with a smile. "Hello~! Is everyone home~?"

Sakura was following behind him with Mokona on her shoulder and some groceries on one of her arms. "Syaoron, Kurogane; are you guys home?"

"Syaoron~! Kurgy~! Where are you guys~?" Mokona piped out happily.

Before Fai could take another step inside the house, a crunching sound reached their ears. "Huh~?" He looked down and saw that he stepped on a crumbled paper. "What's this~?"

"Fai, look!" Sakura screamed out while pointing what's in front of her.

Lifting his head, Fai's eyes widened as he took in the view before him. "Oh my."

"Haha~! It seems that the doggy duo had lots and lots of fun when we were gone~!" Mokona cried out in joy.

Before them was the inside of the house completely covered in paper. Crumbled paper, shredded paper, half-burnt paper and pieces of what used to be paper all scattered around the house place from the furniture to the floor.

"Well I guess we should find one of the doggies and find out what's been going on here when we weren't here." Fai calmly suggested. He shoved some of the paper with his feet; trying to make a clear path from himself and for the female duo. "Come along you two; let's put the groceries down for a bit."

"F-f-fai? P-pr-princess? M-m-m-mokona? A-are you guys really here?" Suddenly there came a scared but soft voice that was not too far from the rest.

Sakura looked over at the couch to see a bit of brown shaking a bit violently behind it. "Syaoron, is that you?"

The person in question stood up, still shaking as he ran towards the group and hugged Fai tightly around. "Oh Fai! I'm glad you all came home!" The poor guy was close to crying.

Fai was confused but hugged the boy back to comfort. "Um..Syaoron? Not that I'm uncomfortable with hugging you and all; in fact I'm actually happy that you think of me as a mother to come to for safety, but can I ask what was going on here with Kuro-puu while we were away?"

Syaoron lifted his head as tears filled his eyes. "All I did was ask a question! I didn't know Kurogane would take it so seriously! I've never been so scared at the man in my entire life!" He then pressed his head on Fai's chest; cowering in fear.

"Oh Syaoron." Sakura said in slight sadness as she patted the boy's back.

Mokona hopped from Sakura's shoulder to Fai's head. "So where's big doggy now~?"

Sounds of slashes and grunting reached everyone's ears.

"Kurogane is cutting whatever papers and pens that are left in this place." Syaoron muffled in Fai's chest.

The wizard chuckled. "I see that Kuro-buro gave you a hard time." He glanced at Sakura who saw something in the mess and it up. "So what was the question you asked of him?"

Letting go of his hold on Fai, Syaoron looked up at him uncertainly. "I asked him if he could draw."

Fai stared at the boy. Then he chuckled then finally he couldn't hold it in anymore. He laughed and laughed very loudly. "Ha ha ha~! Really Syaoron; you asked Kuro-sama if he could draw~? That's hilarious! Ha ha ha~!" Fai continued to laugh while holding his sides.

Syaoron sighed. "It's nothing to laugh about Fai! I almost got killed!"

"Now now Syaoron." Fai slowly calmed down as he placed both hands on the boy's shoulders. "I'm sure that you didn't mean anything ill about it but you should've known by now that if Kurgy's pride is hurt under any circumstances; he'll do whatever it takes to 'regain' it; if you will phase it that way."

Feeling a chill go up his spine; Syaoron had no choice but to agree. "Yes Fai; I'll try to take that into consideration next time."

Fai smiled. "That's the Syaoron we all know and love~!" He hugged the boy quickly before letting go of him. "Now then."| He glanced at Sakura who was having a hard time looking at the piece of paper she just picked up. "Sakura, what's that in your hands?"

Sakura turned to them and showed them. "I found this one out of all the others; it looked untouched compared to the other ones."

Syaoron sighed.

Fai and Mokona tilted their heads.

"Is..that a penguin Syaoron?"

"….No Fai; that's a little rabbit."

"…oh dear."

"Haha! Kuro-puu's no good at drawing~! Hehe! What a failure~!"

"Poor Kurogane."

* * *

Shortly afterwards the house was cleaned up and Kurogane was back to his mildly stubborn self. Although it took a while for Syaoron to feel comfortable around the ninja after the whole incident.

However Fai and Mokona had the shameless nerve to bring up Kurogane's drawing over dinner and constantly teased him about it.

Which resulted was a half-burnt house, the kids sitting under a tree; quaking in fear and a laughing blonde and a white giggling creature being chased by a miffed-off warrior with a long sword.

Never again will Syaoron ask about Kurogane's lack of skills.

The poor kid has enough on his plate already.

* * *

**END**

* * *

There you go~! Sorry if it's short.

**Don't forget to review, check out my other stories and vote if you want YuuiSyao in my ongoing story 'Anything But Simple' on my profile. I need to know what you guys think of it~!**

**Until Next Time~!**


	9. We scream for insanity!

Another one up~!

I'm pleased to say that my recent oneshot '**_School's out :Summer break_****_!_**' had good feedback~! Yay~!

Plus i feel that my oneshots are like Kid-version of **Uakari's **story '**_Days of Our Wings_**' Even though Our stories are rated 'T'. *laughs* Her's is better then mine though. *smiles*

**Warning: Language and other things**

**Disclaimer: Don't own them; never will~!**

**Enjoy~!  
**

* * *

**Insanity is like a car crash: you don't want to see it but just can't look away**

**

* * *

**Kurogane calmly sipped a cup of tea in Yuuko's shop one evening. The group arrived at the place earlier that morning. Fai and the rest of the group including Watanuki, the Mokonas and Doumeki went outside to the city to spend time with friends.

Kurogane bluntly refused. He said he'd be with Yuuko for the day; as much as he detested the Witch beyond other worlds' boundaries. So eventually he got stuck at the shop with Yuuko while drinking tea and watching random anime episodes.

"What's with the guy? He suddenly turns emo when his only weapon gets wet by the freaking rain." Kurogane commented with an irritated tone.

Giggling, Yuuko took her pipe and had a quick inhale before blowing smoke from her mouth. "Well that's the drawbacks of wearing gloves that can make fire but nothing else."(**1**) She took her cup from the table. Before she could take a sip; she turned her head at the direction of where the front door silently stood. "Someone's coming."

Kurogane snorted. "Do you really think I'll believe that-"

Three knocks reached the adults' ears.

Yuuko smirked. "You were saying?"

Kurogane scoffed. "It's just dumb luck; that's all!"

Yuuko, followed by Kurogane, walked to the front door with their guards up. When she got close to the door, Yuuko grabbed the doorknob and slowly turned the knob. Kurogane's eyes widen to reveal….

Doumeki and the two Mokonas on the other side.

So much for excitement.

"Oh. It's just 'blank' kid and the two furballs." Kurogane said dismissively while walking back to the room.

Doumeki glared at the ninja's retreating back while the Mokonas pouted.

Yuuko waved a hand in front of them. "Oh don't mind him; it was his fault for staying here for the whole day." Then her face instantly became serious. "I assuming that since that only three of you returned that something has happened that needed my undivided attention."

Doumeki nodded while the Mokonas hugged each other in mock fear.

"It's so scary Yuuko~! I almost couldn't believe it when I saw it with my own eyes~!" The white Mokona cried out with a big smile on her face.

The black Mokona hopped from Doumeki's arms to Yuuko's shoulder. "Yeah. It was so bizarre that we just had to come back and tell you~!"

Yuuko smiled. "Well I'm flattered that you three took the trouble to inform me…"

"Ha! As if!" Kurogane shouted from the room.

Yuuko shifted her eyes angrily before continuing. "But what I want to know is what was the incident that made only the three of you return to the shop?"

"It's still going on, Yuuko." Doumeki simply stated as he took out his cell phone with his free hand. "He should call any minute now."

Yuuko tilted her head in pretend confusion. "And may I ask who will be calling?"

As if on cue…

Three rings were heard on the cell phone. Without missing a beat, Doumeki answered the call. "Yo." Sounds of yelling were heard by everyone.

_And the writer means everyone. _

"Who the hell is shouting! I can hear it from this damn room!" Kurogane shouted from the room once again.

"It's Watanuki, Kurogane!" Yuuko shouted back. She couldn't keep the smile off her face. She looked at Doumeki who held the phone away from his ears. "What's he saying?"

"…." Doumeki shrugged as he held the phone out to Yuuko. "He was like this since it started."

Yuuko took the phone with a smile. She placed it on her ear. "Hello~! Watanuki; is that you~?"

There was a brief silence before a sigh was heard. _"Yuuko? Please tell me that's really you."_

The witch laughed. "Of course it's me or do you expect Doumeki at any point in this lifetime to sound like a girl."

"…_.."_ Watanuki couldn't argue with that. However, this was not the time to comment on Doumeki at all. _"Listen Yuuko, I need you to go to the main room and turn on the TV. Go to one of the news channels; it doesn't matter which since they are saying the same thing. Oh! And make sure that Kurogane watches it too because it involves him…..kinda."_

"How intriguing." Yuuko commented. "And where are the rest of you?"

"_Well Syaoron, Sakura and I are at Himawari's house but not because we wanted too!" _Watanuki quickly added. _"We just ended up there. We ran all the way over there; thinking at he'll be there but he wasn't!"_

"He?" Yuuko asked. She glanced to see Doumeki and the Mokonas going to the room where Kurogane was. She heard the ninja scream and shout about the channel being changed. She turned her attention back to the phone. "Watanuki, just tell me one thing: will the ninja be angered by the 'incident'?"

"…_.Yeah." _

Yuuko can practically hear Syaoron and Sakura quiver in fear in the background. "Okay I'll see the evening news in a bit. Just try to calm down. I'm sure that whatever it is it won't be that ba—"

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!"

"…..I'll be seeing you three at the shop later. Don't be around the city very late, okay?" Yuuko can act like a mother to her children when she's not heavily intoxicated by alcohol.

"_Okay Yuuko, we be there soon. Bye." _Yuuko heard a click; signaling the end of the phone call.

Sighing, Yuuko went back to the room and swiftly dodged a tea cup that shattered on the wall behind her. "I hope you realize that you need to pay for that cup."

Kurogane was too angry to even hear that remark.

Doumeki and the Mokonas were watching the news with either a blank expression (Doumeki) or with laughing smiles (Mokonas).

Yuuko walked into the room and sat next to Kurogane and stared at the TV. "….Isn't that a commercial for McDonalds?"

"What is that damn clown with all the weird singing and putting his arms in the air! How can anyone _not_ get annoyed by that!" Kurogane shook his head in irritation.

Yuuko sighed as she looked at Doumeki and the Mokonas.

Doumeki, who knew that Yuuko was looking at him, turned around. "The news hasn't even started. We changed the channel just in time for some commercials to come up."

"I see."

"Hey~! It's back~! It's Back~!" The Mokonas cried out.

The TV screen flicker before the news channel slogan was shown.

_**Welcome back to 'Channel 0' news. If you are just tuning in, there has been in event that occurred which is still causing a riot within the city area. Shogo is up on the helicopter with more. Shogo?**_

The scene changed to a guy holding a microphone in his hand and holding a pair of earphones that was strapped to his head while riding next to the helicopter pilot.

_**Thank you Primera. As I'm looking down at the streets below me; there seems to be a chase occurring just hours before and is still ongoing. Witnesses at the scene saw what appears to be a blonde man running after an ice cream truck that was just passing through one of the neighborhoods. Apparently this man is experiencing extreme sugar withdrawal and is now having some sort of psychological condition that even I do not know of.**_

"…. A blonde man?" Yuuko asked.

"That can't be…" Kurogane couldn't believe his ears. Surely it couldn't be….it's not possible.

The Mokonas laughed while Doumeki sighed.

Just then, the reporter gasped as he saw something down in the city. _**Wait. I'm getting a clearer visual. **_He gestured the camera man to zoom in. _**Yes, it has been confirmed. There really is a lone blonde man running after an ice cream truck and catching up to it quickly. It seems that he is wearing foreign clothing and has his arms up in the air. He seems really happy from what I can assume from up here. I'll be back with more updates about the incident from the helicopter. Primera?**_

The scene changes again. _**Thank you Shogo. It seems that the summer heat has gotten to peoples' heads, more so then others. And now for the weather~!**_

"…Summer heat my ass." Kurogane slowly got up. "Manjuu; my sword."

The white Mokona nodded with a smile before spitting out 'Pale Blue Ice' to Kurogane.

Smirking evilly, the ninja gripped the sword tightly and started walking out of the room before stopping at the doorway. "Hey Witch; that truck they are talking about, where is it heading now?"

"It's heading down to one of the neighborhoods that Watanuki resides in. There's a shortcut just up the street; turn right and wait for a few minutes. It'll be there shortly." Yuuko smirked right back; fully aware of what Kurogane was going to do.

The warrior nodded before walking down the hall and out the shop.

Doumeki was looking at Yuuko with questionable eyes. "Yuuko, I thought you don't tell people any information without compensation."

"Yes, I'm aware of that rule." Yuuko chuckled. "However, I swiped the ninja's favorite manga this morning when he wasn't looking. I think it's a more suitable for compensation, don't you think?"

Doumeki was about to comment on that when the Mokona laughed very loudly.

"Look guys~! Big Dog is running after Big Cat~!" The white Mokona squealed out.

Yuuko and Doumeki was about to look at the TV when the four heard a bang coming from the front door.

"Yukko!" Coming into view were Watanuki who was out of breath as he leaned on the doorframe, Syaoron who looked like he was running from a ghost and Sakura was slightly trembling from shock.

"Ah, why it isn't the April Fools' Trio. Nice to see you all again." Yuuko commented.

Watanuki growled as he walked into the room and sat down next to the witch. "Yeah, it's nice to you maybe but it's horrific on the rest of us and why the hell is Doumeki still doing here!"

Doumeki looked at Watanuki. "Yo."

Almost ready to angrily retort, Watanuki felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see Syaoron and Sakura shaking their heads.

"It's not worth it Watanuki. We had enough surprises for one day." Syaoron commented with a frown.

"Syaoron! Watanuki! Look!" Sakura screamed out.

The rest of the group turned their attention to Sakura who was pointing at the TV screen. They looked at the TV screen.

And looked, and looked, and stared.

Oh no.

"Kurogane! With his sword!" Syaoron screamed out.

"Oh! I hope he doesn't hurt Fai!" Sakura pleaded.

"Fai and Kurogane are really fast runners." Watanuki commented.

"…." Doumeki didn't seem to have a comment about it. Nothing new there.

The Mokonas had a laugh. "Yuuko; what should we do now?"

Yuuko who was silent for a few minutes, stood up and walked to the shop phone. She picked up the phone and dialed a number. "Hello 'Channel 0' News? I have some information about the two men who are now chasing the ice cream truck."

* * *

After the long-exhausting incident, the adult pair finally returned to the shop. However upon closer observation; the kids, the creatures, the teenagers and the witch couldn't help but notice that the wizard had a few bumps on his head and the warrior having a few bandages on his face.

"What happened?" Syaoron asked.

Kurogane looked straight into Syaoron's eyes. "The truck finally decided to stop and we both," He glared at Fai who whistled a random tune while looking away. "Hit the back of the damn thing head-on. Then out of nowhere there were tons of people with microphones and cameras that were right into our faces." Kurogane then showed his sword with had tiny spots of blood on the blade.

Sakura paled. "W-what happened next?"

Fai smiled. "Don't worry too much about it Sakura. The nosy people just got what they deserved. But they weren't hurt too badly; just enough to scare them away." He looked at Kurogane who was ready to unsheathe his sword. "What is it Kuro-puu~?"

"_You_. What the fuck were you thinking today! I thought that for once you would be freaking responsible to just go out with others! I guess not! Then I have to see you in all of your idiot glory on the damn news! _Where the fuck was your damn head in all of that!_"

Everyone backed off a bit.

Fai just looked into Kurogane's eyes. "It got you out of the shop though right?"

The world seemed to have come to a halt. That or Kurogane was really bad at counting seconds in his head.

"What?"

Sighing, Fai walked away from the ninja. "I know that you were somewhat bored so I came up with an eccentric plan to get you outside and having fun~!"

"Getting jumped by random people is _not fun!"_

"Details Kurgy." Fai waved a dismissive hand. "But it's all over now~! No harm, no foul right~?"

Kurogane started unsheathing his sword.

Yuuko smirked. "You might want to run Fai."

Fai nodded. "Right." Then he ran quickly down the hall with Kurogane and the long sword on his tail.

Syaoron sighed at the scene. "Yuuko, you didn't actually gave them info on them did you."

Yuuko smiled. "Who's to say~?"

* * *

_**And in other news, the two men from the chasing incident were identified as Kurogane and Fai D. Fluorite. They are known around the country as the two of the famous characters in 'Wings'; a manga from a woman only nicknamed as 'Y.I' who has called our news studio just a couple hours ago. However upon meeting them, many reporters were immediately rushed to the hospital as the taller man became hostile and starting welding a dangerous weapon. Before police could be called the two men ran into an alleyway and disappeared. **_

_**We have no further info if the two were mere cosplayers or the real thing. This is Primera coming to you from 'Channel 0' news. Thank you and Good night.**_

_**

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**_**END**

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(**1**)- Full Metal Alchemist. The manga version of that scene was funnier then the first and second anime. I think Mustang really did have a brief Emo moment there. *smiles evilly*

**Don't forget to review,check out my other stories and vote if you want YuuiSyao in '_Anything But Simple' _****in my profile**

******Until Next Time~!  
**


	10. Movies and not undersanding warnings

Here you go another one up~! I'm sorry if it's a bit off. I was going for humor on this one (like the others) but for some reason it felt a bit lacking.

_**To Uakari: yes, you have a point, my oneshots are anything but Kid-friendly. I try to tone it down on certain things because i want my readers to know that** **i'm twisted**_ **_but not too over the edge , unless they actually want that from me. *smiles*_**

******Warning: Language and other things**

******Disclaimer: Don't own them; never will~! **

******Enjoy~!  
**

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**There is rational fear and irrational fear. However who's to say that anyone cares while watching a film?**

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* * *

**"Have fun with Kuro-puu and Mokona, Syaoron ~!

"It's Kurogane you stupid wizard!"

"I will Fai."

"Come back safely okay?"

"I will princess."

"I'll miss you Kuro-chan~!"

"I just said it's Kurogane!"

"Don't worry about Kuro-puu Fai~! We'll make sure he'll gets lots and lots of fun~!"

"Damn it pork bun! Don't I get a freaking say in this!"

"Aww~! You're so sweet Mokona~!"

"Haha~! You're tickling me Fai~!"

"ARGH!"

* * *

Mokona, Syaoron and Kurogane were off to do some male-bonding (though Fai eloquently called it, 'Spending time with Kuro-daddy~!' causing a few furniture to be sliced), while leaving Fai with Sakura back at the house.

Feeling bored very quickly, Fai started looking over their DVD library to find something to watch. "Hmm~! Kuro-buro has picked a few interesting DVD's the last time we've been out. I wonder why he wouldn't let me see them~?"

"Hey Fai, do you want powdered sugar on your funnel cake?" Sakura called from the kitchen.

"Yes please~!" Fai called out. "And could you please add some cherry syrup on it too~?"

"Sure!"

"Thank you very much~!" Fai went back to looking at the DVD library and took out a random case. "Oh~! This one looks promising~!" On the cover was a person whose face was covered with a dirty mask on. On the bottom left corner was a red sign that said '_**UNRATED' **_on it. Fai smiled. "Ah~! This must be a documentary~!"

Sakura walked in with two plates of funnel cake; one with just powered sugar and the other with both powered sugar and some cherry syrup on top. "What are you looking at Fai?"

Fai smiled back as he took his plate from Sakura and thanked her. "Oh, I was just looking at some DVD's that we have here and I found this particular one that kind of interests me. Do you want to watch it with me~?"

"What kind of movie is it?" By now the feminine pair was already on their way to the living room and made their way to the couch (one of which was spared from the temporary hack and slash from you-know-who).

Fai showed her the cover. "I think it's a documentary. Take a look~!"

Sakura looked at the cover. "…._Texas Chainsaw Massacre_. Well it does say unrated. I guess it really is a documentary." She smiled as Fai made his way to the TV that had a DVD player on top of it.

"I know~! That's what I thought~!" He opened the case and took out the disk. He pressed the button on the player and the slot came out. Then he placed the disk in the slot and pushed the button once more as the slot closed. He made his way back to the couch and sat next to Sakura. "Could you pass the remote please?"

Giggling, Sakura gave Fai the remote and started to eat her funnel cake.

Fai pressed 'play' and took his own plate. "I can't wait for it to start~!" He smiled as he took a bite. "Hyuu~! This is delicious~!"

"Thank you Fai. I worked very hard on them." Sakura laughed as Fai hugged her very tightly.

"Mommy is very proud of his dear child~!" Fai let go of Sakura as the DVD menu came up on the screen. He took the remote and selected 'Play'. "Now for some mother/daughter time~!"

"Yay~!" Sakura cheered.

* * *

**A/N: I'm only going with what I remember and since the series is rated T, I can't describe the scenes without edging towards 'M'. That or I'm just lazy. *smiles* Instead you get Fai's and Sakura's reactions to said movie. Besides I bet there are some people who haven't even 'seen' the movie yet so I won't spoil too much. Hope you enjoy~!**

**

* * *

**[10 mins in]

"Ew~!" Fai made a light disgusted face as he saw the scene before him. He looked at Sakura with concern. "Are you okay?"

Sakura coughed as she tried to smile. "Oh yeah, I'm fine Fai. I'm just a bit shocked that's all." Her pale face said otherwise. "Fai, are you sure it's a documentary?"

"….I think so. I mean not all documentaries are kid-friendly." However as soon as those words left his mouth; he covered it with his hand; trying to keep the vile from pushing up in his throat. "Oh my."

* * *

[30 mins in]

"Ah!" Sakura quickly closed her eyes form watching a gruesome scene. "How can that man do that to those poor men! How cruel!"

Fai however could not rip his eyes from the screen. "…." He was having second thoughts on the movie being a documentary. Hell he can go far as saying that the movie was nowhere near close to a documentary! He looked over to Sakura who was shaking while having her hands so close towards her eyelids; daring to cover them at a moment's notice.

Yep, Fai now knew that he had made a grand mistake.

* * *

[One hour in]

Sakura by that time was covering her whole face but was still shaking like a frightened dog as the movie took the turn for the worst.

Fai's face was as pale as a sparkly vampire at daylight (**1**). He was beginning to shake as well. He now knew definitely that the movie was not a documentary. He felt that he was going to faint if that kept on going. He couldn't take it anymore as he quickly grabbed the remote and turned off the DVD player. Unfortunately he fell on the floor in the process; hitting face first on the ground.

Sakura came out of her frighten mode as she stood up from the couch and gasped at the position Fai got himself into. "Fai! Are you okay!"

Fai slowly used his arms to push his upper body up a few inches and looked at Sakura with a pained smile. "Yeah. I'm fine Sakura; I just slipped." Groaning, he moved his body to a sitting position as he sighed and crossed his legs. "Wow. That movie was…interesting to say the least."

The young girl grimly nodded. "I was so scared. It was so gory and awful. I can't believe anyone could make a movie like that!" She closed her eyes for a moment. "But I'm glad you turned it off when you did. I don't think I could handle much more of that if it continued."

Fai stood up and hugged Sakura. "I'm sorry. I just thought it was an ideal movie for us….to watch while the boys and Mokona are out."

Sakura sighed in content. "It's okay. Besides it's over now, right?"

Nodding, Fai chuckled. "Yep, it's all over."

Three loud bangs were heard at the front door.

Fai quickly let go of the girl and shielded her. "What was that!"

More bangs were heard; only this time much louder than the first time.

Sakura whimpered. "D-do you think that it's _him_?"

Despite the situation, Fai nervously chuckled. "Hehe. D-don't be silly my dear Sakura. Characters like that are only real in movies. T-they don't exist in real life." That way he said that almost seemed like he was trying to convince that to himself then to Sakura. "But, just in case…" He started to tip-toed towards the door as slowly as he could. "Stay behind me." He instructed Sakura.

The girl nodded as she mimicked the adult's movements; not making a single sound.

* * *

The pair slowly but surely got to the front door while the pounding went on continuously; making their hearts beat quicker and harder against their chest.

Fai stood right in front of the door; his eyes fixed at the wood. He turned to Sakura who was still behind him. "If anything goes wrong, I want you to run to your room and lock the door and call the police; okay?"

Sakura whimpered but nodded. "Yes Fai."

Fai nodded back as he held out his right hand and gently grabbed the doorknob. With his whole body shaking, he slowly turned the knob.

Suddenly the door was slammed opened, pushing both Fai and Sakura to the floor. They looked up and their eyes widened. It was large shadowed figure with a chainsaw in its right hand and was breathing very heavily. It started to growled but it was muffled by something. The figure was dripping wet as it took the first step inside. The growling got louder and louder and louder as the figure lifted the weapon in the air.

Sakura screamed as she shielded herself pitifully with her arms. "HELP! SOMEONE HELP US! PLEASE! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!"

"Sakura!"

The young girl opened her eyes almost immediately as she looked at what was in front of her for the second time. Stood before her was Syaoron all dripping wet as he walked pass the figure and kneeled in front of her.

"Are you okay? Did something happen? You look frightened." Syaoron yelped as Sakura wrapped her arms around him.

"Oh Syaoron! You're back! I'm so glad that you're okay!" Sakura was practically crying on the boy's already wet shoulder.

"Oi. Just what the hell is going on here?"

Sakura and Syaoron looked up to see Kurogane hovering over them with Mokona on his head. The girl sighed in relief. "Oh, so you were not _him_ after all."

Kurogane raised an eyebrow. "_Him?_"

The young girl nervously giggled as Syaoron helped her up. "Well it's a bit hard to explain." She then noticed just how wet the men (and the white creature) are. "Speaking of which, why are you three all wet."

Syaoron rubbed his head sheepishly. "Well…Mokona was giving Kurogane a hard time while we were on our way back. Kurogane started chasing her and I ended up following them. Unfortunately we both ran into a lake. Mokona was on the shoreline laughing until Kurogane went up to her sneakily and….threw her in. After that it was kind of a blur."

Sakura looked down at Kurogane's right arm where he was holding something. "And what's that?"

Kurogane followed her line of vision and grunted. "Ah." He lifted the object up. "It's one of those thick branches that somehow sink to the bottom of the lake when a storm hits. I figured we need one for the fireplace." He then frowned. "Now back to what you were saying; you mentioned something about _him_. Why is that?"

Mokona hopped form Kurogane's head to Sakura's. "Mokona knows~! Sakura and Fai saw a scary movie while we were away~!That's why Sakura's all shook up~!"

Sakura sweat-dropped while Kurogane's eyes narrowed.

"Sakura, is that true?" Syaoron asked.

The girl nodded. "Yes; it's true."

Kurogane growled. "I told that idiot not to check out my DVD's! He just never freaking listens!"

"But he and I thought that it was a documentary!" Sakura interjected.

"Well what was it called?" Mokona asked.

"It was _Texas Chainsaw Massacre._" Sakura blushed in embarrassment as the two males gaped at her.

"That…was no documentary Sakura." Syaoron was kind enough to point that out.

"That freaking moron! When I get my hands on him, he'll be _wishing_ that fake character was there!" Kurogane was beyond mad at that point. Never again will he leave Fai alone with anyone.

"Speaking of which; where is Fai?" Syaoron asked as he was the first to notice that the group was missing one person.

"Hehe~! I found him~!" Mokona jumped from Sakura's head to the floor. She pointed at the figure next to her. "He fainted before we even started talking~!"

The three looked down at Fai and sure enough he was out cold. He was mumbling about scary movies and funnel cakes.

Sighing, Kurogane placed the object on the floor and picked up Fai in his arms. "Come on. We all need a bath and a good night's sleep." And with that, he walked towards a set of stairs and walked upwards to the second floor.

Syaoron chuckled. "I guess he's right. Let's get going Sakura."

Sakura nodded happily. "Of course!"

Mokona giggled as she hopped towards the front door and pushed it close. "Fai's going to be in big trouble tomorrow~!"

Syaoron nodded. "Yeah. He's going to have a long lecture from Kurogane in the morning."

"No~! Not about that~!" Mokona protested.

Sakura tilted her head. "Then what is it Mokona?"

The white creature let out a big laugh. "That's a secret~!"

The two kids gulped in sheer worry.

So much for a good night sleep.

* * *

**END**

* * *

What's the secret? That's for me to know and for you all to **never** find out~! *laughs evilly* By the way; Funnel cake is my favorite type of cake in the summer! and with Powered sugar; I'm in heaven~!

(**1**)- Small bash at movie _Twilight_. Got a problem? *smirks*

**Don't forget to review, check out my other stories and vote for YuuiSyao pairing for 'Anything But Simple' on profile.**

**Until Next Time~!  
**


	11. FOOD FIGHT!

Off,Off, Off! That's all i can tell you about this one! I'm trying to make this one funny as well but my mind was somewhere else when i wrote it! I'm sorry if it's not as funny! T_T

**Warning: Some OOC-ness from Ioryogi (from Kobato), language, confusing dialogue (sorry about that) and other things.**

**Disclaimer: don't own them; never will~!**

**Enjoy~!  
**

* * *

**Messy Food can lead to a nasty discussion….or is it a food fight.**

**

* * *

**Watanuki hummed happily as he was making a meal for his guests. While he was finishing the last touches on the food, he went to one of the cabinets and took out four plates; including for himself.

He then placed the meal on each plate. He looked at his culinary work with a huge grin.

"I hope the guys would like this~!"

* * *

"So are you and Watanuki a couple or something?"

"…..What makes you say that?"

"Well I just figured that since you guys are together almost every-day and the Himawari girl looked like the third wheel at times."

"…."

"Yeah, I'm with the Chinese kid over here. You and sir spazz-a-lot are always together. What's with that?"

"….I'm Chinese?" (**1**)

"Well the idiot is in tune with spirits and he attracts them. I can drive them off but I can't see them while he can. Yuuko usually sets us up for all of the work she wants us to do. Though it's hurting my ears every time I meet him."

"….That just sucks. You two really need to see other losers."

"…yeah."

….

"Doumeki, do I look like a Chinese person?"

"..maybe."

Watanuki suddenly came into the main room where the guests were having a conversation with a large tray in his hands and a big smile on his face. "Hey guys~! Food's ready~!"

Syaoron looked up and smiled in return. "Thank you very much Watanuki."

Ioryogi sighed. "Well it's about damn time, 'chef'."

Doumeki held his hand out. "Plate."

"I'M NOT YOUR DAMN SLAVE!" Watanuki turned to Syaoron and smiled. "Here you go." He handed him a plate.

Syaoron took his plate with some uncertainty. "Um…thank you very much."

Then Watanuki placed the second plate in front of Ioryogi. "Here you go Ioryogi-san."

The plushy huffed as he crossed his plump stuffed arms. "Yeah, yeah."

Watanuki then turned to Doumeki and glared at him. "Here." He placed the plate very harshly in front of the stoic teen. So harshly that Ioryogi and Syaoron jumped at the sound.

"What the hell is his problem?" The blue plushy asked.

Syaoron shrugged his shoulders. "No clue."

Doumeki, unfazed at the look he was receiving, looked at the meal his was given. "What is it?"

Rolling his eyes, Watanuki placed the tray that had his plate on the ground and sat down along with the rest. "Can't you tell; it's sloppy Joe."

Syaoron picked up the joe and had a good at it. "So that's what it is."

Ioryogi scoffed. "Never had one of those before. Dobato would always give me those cakes to eat since she works at a bakery." (**2**)

Doumeki silently took the sloppy Joe and bit into it. "…mmm."

"You know that 'mmm' doesn't freaking help us much." Ioryogi rudely commented. Then he took his sloppy joe and bit into it. He chewed and swallowed the piece, He then licked his lips. "Not bad. Greasy but not bad."

Watanuki beamed at the complaints he was getting. "Thank you~! It was one of those western recipes that I wanted to try." He then turned his attention to Syaoron. "How's yours?"

Syaoron looked at Watanuki then at the sloppy joe. He carefully took a bite. "Hmm! This is really good!"

"I'm glad you all like it –maybe not Doumeki though-." Watanuki muttered the last part under his breath. He then sat down with them while taking his own plate and taking a bite. "So, what were you guys talking about before I got here."

The young brown-eyed boy stop in mid-chew and looked at the other two. He swallowed. "Um…..we were just talking about random things in our lives."

Before Watanuki could start on his meal, Ioryogi gave out a barking laugh. He looked at him questioning look. "What?"

"Is that what he told you?" Ioryogi took another bite; almost ripping the bread very harshly. "We were just talking about you and stoic teen over here and why the hell you two are always together. We just figured you might be dating or something."

…

"WHAT!" The blue-eyed teen stood up and walked over to Doumeki who seemed oblivious to what just happened. "WHAT KIND OF DIRTY LIES HAVE YOU TOLD THEM!"

Doumeki just kept on chewing; only sparing a glance at the spazzing teen before swallowing. "I didn't lie about anything. You just assumed I did; moron." Then he took another bite.

Watanuki's anger level reached unimaginable heights.

Syaoron can sense something bad was going to happen between the two. "Um…I'm going to the kitchen to wash my plate; you coming Ioryogi-san?" He glanced at the toy; hoping he would agree and go as well.

No such luck.

"Nah, I'm going to stick around to see the odd couple fight to the death." Ioryogi ate the last bit of the sandwich and wagged his tail in content.

Narrowing his eyes, Syaoron was forced to do what he never thought he would do to a person…or a plushy for that matter. He grabbed the dog by the collar and hoisted him into the air. He then took the second plate on top of the first one. "We're going to the kitchen." He announced while exiting the room with Ioryogi in tow; not wanting to wait to see what happens.

"Hey, what the hell! Put me down! I want to see some fighting damn it!" Ioryogi shouted out; unaware of how the situation will turn out.

* * *

"I can't believe you dragged me out of the room." Ioryogi sat on the kitchen counter; glaring at Syaoron for ruining a rare chance in seeing a fight between two guys.

Syaoron paid no heed as he was washing the dishes and the cooking equipment that Watanuki used to cook. "I understand that and I'm sorry." He didn't feel as sorry when he said that. "However we shouldn't interfere with the situation. I tried to once…..that black eye took weeks to fade." He covered his right eye and shuddered in remembrance of that day. "So we'll just wait out here until all anger has left the room. Then we can come back in."

Ioryogi's beady eyes narrowed. "That's the lamest story I have ever heard, and I hang around with idiots every day."

Chuckling, Syaoron starting to dry everything. "You really do sound like Kurogane, you know?"

"AND STOP TELLING ME THAT I SOUND LIKE THAT DAMN TALL GUY!"

"Right, right." Syaoron was about to put away the dishes when he noticed a huge pot on the stove. He placed the drying towel down and peak in to see what was inside. "Hey Ioryogi-san; take a look at this."

The blue plushy sighed as he stood up and walked towards the pot. He jumped on one of the handle and peered inside. "Holy crap." Inside of the pot was a large amount of meat which looked similar to the sloppy joe they have just eaten a while ago. "That's a hell of a lot of meat."

Syaoron nodded. "Yeah, I wonder why Watanuki would make a lot of this when there are just the four of us."

"TAKE THAT BACK YOU JERK!"

Ioryogi and Syaoron turned their heads at the doorway; hearing the yelling very clearly.

"I didn't even say anything."

"BUT YOU WERE THINKING IT WEREN'T YOU!"

"That doesn't mean that I'll actually say it moron."

"THAT'S IT!"

Then a squishy-like sound was heard along with a plate smashing somewhere. Syaoron got worried and ran out of the room. "Watanuki! Doumeki!"

Ioryogi just stood there. He looked at the pot and at the doorway. He slowly smirked. "Heh. Let the fun begin."

* * *

"Hey guys, are you okay in there?" Syaoron ran into the room and was stopped at the sight before him. "Oh my goodness."

Before him was Doumeki with his face covered in grounded meat as the buns were sliding down his shirt. Watanuki was panting very heavily as the smashed plate was right next to him on the floor.

"…." Syaoron didn't know whether to go to Doumeki to help him clean up or to Watanuki to calm him down. "Um…what happened here?"

Watanuki snapped out of his anger mode and looked at Syaoron who was confused and worried. He stood upright and glanced at what he has done. "Oh." He looked back at Syaoron while his face was tinted pink with slight embarrassment. "S-sorry about that. I kinda blacked out for a couple of minutes before I even knew what I just did."

"….I can see that." Syaoron looked at Doumeki. "Are you okay Doumeki?"

Doumeki wiped some meat off his face. "Yeah."

Before Syaoron could take one step to help, a handful of lukewarm meat hit the back of his head. He yelped at the sudden contact. He turned around. "What was that!"

Watanuki ran towards him. "I don't know! I didn't see anyone behind you!"

Doumeki coughed, catching the boys' attention. He pointed downwards. "There."

Watanuki and Syaoron looked at where the stoic teen was pointing and were shocked at what they were seeing.

Ioryogi was standing next to the large pot with a smirk on his face while holding a ball of meat in one of his non-existent hand. "Well boys, I threw the first 'rock'. What are you all going to do about it?" The smirk became slightly darker.

Looking at the pot, Watanuki's eyes widen. "Wait, is that….?" The realization sank in as he scowled. "What the hell? I made that much for others later!"

"Well that's too damn bad!" Then the plushy threw the ball of meat at Watanuki's face which hit dead on.

Syaoron gasped. Doumeki's eyes widen a fraction. Ioryogi was laughing his head off at the sight of Watanuki's meat covered face.

Watanuki wiped some of the meat into his hand and glared.

Ioryogi was too busy laughing that he didn't notice that Watanuki was aiming the meat in his hand at him. "Ha! You look really stu-ack!" He was hit with meat and what was worse was that half his body was now covered in meat. He glared at him. "Oh, that's it brat." He jumped onto the rim of the pot and took out a big glob of meat. "You're going down!"

"Bring it!" Watanuki cried out. He ducked as the meat hit the wall behind him.

Doumeki stood up and walked to the pot and grabbed a handful of the meat and threw it at Watanuki who ducked and it hit the wall.

Watanuki laughed. "Is that all you got!" Then he dodged another glob of meat that was heading in his direction. "What the hell!"

Syaoron looked at the scene with wide eyes. He ran out of the room while dodging globs of meat flying in every direction. He then ran to the phone and dialed a number. He waited for the other line to pick up. Then he heard a click.

"_**Hello! This is Yuuko's lovely shop; assistant Fai speaking~!"**_

"Hey Fai. It's me; Syaoron." He heard Fai chuckling on the other line.

"_**Well if it isn't my dear friend Syaoron. What can I do for you today~?"**_

Syaoron sighed before answering. "I need Kurogane and Yuuko to come here right now."

"_**Oh~? And why's that~?"**_

"Something has gone completely wrong here and I need backup." Syaoron can see bits of meat escaping the room along with sounds of yelling and shouting coming from that room.

"_**Eh~? But what don't you want me there Syaoron~?"**_

Syaoron fiddled the phone cord. "Well, no offense Fai but you might make it worse."

A moment of silence from the other line.

"_**Hyuu~! You might be right. I'll send Kuro-lovey-dovey and Yuuko your way."**_

"Good. Thanks Fai."

"_**Well, see you later Syaoron~!**_

"Yeah, see ya Fai." Then he hung up.

He looked back down the hallway and sighed. _'Why does these kind of things happen around me?'_

_

* * *

_[After-math]

"I can't believe you all waste so much freaking meat in this idiotic fight. It was a good thing the kid called when he did. God, what a mess."

"Now Now, Kurogane; I'm sure the children and Ioryogi had a good explanation for this rather messy ordeal."

"Actually Ma'am they don't."

"And why's that Syaoron?"

"Well it just happened so quickly. I don't think I want to be with them alone anymore."

"Yeah, good call on that kid."

"So Watanuki, Doumeki and Ioryogi-_chan_, you three will have to not only clean up this mess but prepare another meal for the rest of us later on tonight. Is that clear?"

….

"Yes, Ma'am."

* * *

Kurogane sighed as he, Yuuko and Syaoron left the room. The warrior had his sword on his left hip while Yuuko had a spatula (**3**) in her hands. Syaoron was just glad he didn't get involved.

Syaoron then had a thought. "Say Ma'am; I have a question."

Yuuko looked at Syaoron and smiled. "What is it Syaoron?"

"Are Watanuki and Doumeki a couple?"

The smile turned into a smirk. "What do you think~?"

Syaoron blushed.

"Witch; _not now_." Kurogane retorted. "The kid asked a simple question."

"Well I bet it was that simple question that started the whole thing; am I right Syaoron?

"…."

"Syaoron?"

"Oi Kid; are you alright?"

Syaoron didn't know what was worse; the question itself or the fact that he just had a thought that he shouldn't have thought of. The worst part of it was that….

It involved meat…lots of meat.

No more sloppy Joes for him.

* * *

**END**

* * *

(**1**)- Well it was heavily implied in both later chapters of the manga and in Horitsuba that he's Chinese so, I'm going with that.

(**2**)- It just occurred to me that Ioryogi hasn't eaten anything other then sweets. (both in the manga and anime)

(**3**)- My mom has beaten my butt with that thing when i was a kid.

**Don't forget to review,check out my other stories and vote on whether or not you readers want YuuiSyao on '_Anything But Simple_' on my profile**

**Until Next time~!  
**


	12. Too old to be a kid

Here you go~! Another one up~! It was supposed to be posted a bit earlier but i was _drained_ from writing and posting the new chapter for _**'Anything But Simple'**_ I couldn't write this one without getting a good night's sleep and getting into a more humorous mood..so that's that.

**Warning: language, Kobato and Fujimoto being together but not mainly the point and other things including confusing (to some) humor.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own them; never will~!**

**Enjoy~!  
**

* * *

**You're never too old to be a kid…but there is a fine line between kid-like behavior and complete immaturity towards people who know you.**

**

* * *

**It started out simple: Kurogane telling Fai to take care of Kobato; Fujimoto's girlfriend for the day while they go do some errands. Fai almost agreed to handle the task but what was stopped short as Kurogane gave him a talk.

"Listen idiot, the only reason I would even let that girl even get close to you is you are the only person today that has free time. Got it?"

Fai nodded. He was right about that. Syaoran and Sakura were at the beach with Watanuki, Doumeki and Himawari because of the summer heat. Yuuko and Yuui were on a small road trip and would not be back until the next day. Lastly, Syaoron and the Mokonas were at the arcade; playing games and earning tokens.

"So Kuro-pon, what should I do with her while you and Fuji-kun are away~?"

Kurogane's eyebrow twitched. "I don't know; show her a damn good time. Get her some ice cream; go see a movie or something else that's freaking entertaining! Just make sure she doesn't get bored!"

"Huh~? Why's that~?"

Sighing, Kurogane pulled Fai close to him and whisper the following in his ear. "Fujimoto has told me that when she's bored, she tends to wonder around." He pushed Fai off. "That last time that happen, it involved five police cars, a helicopter and some trauma-therapy."

Fai gasped. "Oh my! Was Kobato-chan okay?"

Kurogane scoffed. "Oh she was fine; it was the person who thought he could kidnap her for money was the one traumatized."

"Oh." Fai immediately relaxed after hearing that.

Shaking his head, Kurogane took out his wallet and gave Fai some cash and his credit card. "So anyway, make sure she's entertained. It will be your responsibility, got it?"

Fai nodded as he mock-saluted. "Yep~! You can count on me~!"

Kurogane rolled his eyes. "Right." He started to walk away but stopped. "Oh right." He turned and glared at Fai. "One more thing; do not do anything stupid this time. I don't want to hear from the kid or the Mokonas about it or so help me I will take away every sweet crap in the house; _got it_?"

Fai nodded seriously but in his mind an evil voice was laughing at Kurogane; just mocking him for what he was about to unleash. "No problem Kurgy; I will show that sweet girl a good time and don't you worry," he poked Kurogane's chest as he said the last three words. "I'll make sure I contain myself from doing anything rash." _'….Maybe…' _He added in his mind.

Staring into those suspicious blue eyes, Kurogane finally gave up and sighed. "Fine." He patted Fai on the shoulder. "I must be the biggest fool to give you this kind of task but it is better than nothing."

Laughing, Fai patted Kurogane on the head. "Then they do say that in a moment of panic or desperation they would go to the one person that is available~!"

"…You just made that crap up." Kurogane simply stated; despite that fact that his lips were twitching upward.

"I know Kuro-puff. I just wanted to say something to ease the nasty tension around you~!" Fai smiled as he dodged a book that was thrown his way. "Wahh~! Kuro-rin, that almost hit me~!" He looked at Kurogane who somehow got a small pile of books in his arms.

"Then that means I missed and I need to keep trying until I do." It was the last thing that Kurogane said before he locked and loaded.

The house was soon filled with laughter, yelling, and loud thumps….mostly because of the books that were flying around.

* * *

"Okay then. Kobato, this is Fai. Fai this is Kobato; Fujimoto's girlfriend." Kurogane introduced them with a slightly aggravated tone. He didn't want to the introduction himself but the sooner they can get through the greetings the better. He glanced at Fujimoto and gave him a nod.

Fujimoto got the silent message and left the three alone.

"Uh, Hi! I'm Kobato Hanato. It's nice to meet you~!" Kobato greeted with a bow. She gave out the brightest smile the two men had ever seen on a person.

'_Aww how sweet~! She's just Sakura~!'_ Fai smiled. "Well it's nice to you Kobato-chan. My name's Fai D. Fluorite but call me Fai since that's too long of a name." He ignored the insult Kurogane muttered behind him. It sounded very close to 'Kiss Ass' but he wasn't sure.

"Okay then now that's out of the freaking way." Kurogane glanced at Kobato. "For today you are going with this idiot." He pointed at Fai. "He will show you around town and make sure you have good time."He glared at Fai momentarily before he looked back at Kobato. "But be warned; this moron has been in more deep stuff then you can ever imagine. If that happens to you at any point please don't hesitate to have him arrested. He deserves that at least."

Fai playfully scoffed as he smacked Kurogane's shoulder lightly. "Now now Kuro-buro, don't go telling her crazy things; you know how influential young minds can be nowadays~!"

"I wasn't _playing _with her mind! I'm telling the truth here!"

Kobato softly giggled. "Okay Kurogane-san, I'll keep that in mind today."

"Good." Kurogane calmed down a bit. "Now, I'm off. I don't know when we'll be back so try to enjoy the day while it lasts…..as long as nothing criminal-worthy happens." Kurogane sent a final glare at Fai before leaving the house and getting into Fujimoto's car.

Fai and Kobato watch as the two men drove off. The blonde then turned to the girl.

"So, what do you want to do first~?"

Kobato smiled.

* * *

The day started off nice and a bit normal for the two. First, Fai and Kobato went to the movies and saw a romantic chick flick. **A/N: *gags* **Went to an ice cream shop and got sundaes. Kobato got a simple chocolate fudge covered sundae. Fai got….something very unusual. He told her that he had a very big sweet tooth. He wasn't lying. His sundae was covered with sprinkles, gummy worms, gummy bears, milk duds and whip cream; all covered with strawberry syrup and three cherries.

"Um, Fai-san…are you actually going to eat all of that?"

"Of course Kobato-chan; why do you ask?"

"….No reason."

Then they played a few games down at the bowling rink then played at the arcade that was next to it. Fai won her a small blue dog plushy from the crane machine; he has never seen a biggest smile on a girl before…except maybe Sakura.

"I'm calling him Ioryogi~!"

"That's a nice name..but don't you mean 'Iorogi' by any chance?"

"Nope~!"

"…I see."

Lastly, Fai brought Kobato to a maga-mall where it contained dozens and dozens of stores and food stands. The two went window shopping; just seeing what they would buy the next time around. Fai was _so_ tempted to buy a girl-cat cosplay costume but was disappointed when he remembered the last time he bought a costume.

Many minds were traumatized that day.

* * *

The two was around the kid playground section in the first level of the mall. There were not a lot of kids since it was summer and most families were on vacation or just out of town, however it was such a sight to see the children having fun. Slipping down the slides, climbing on small walls and playing those mechanical rides, it was amazing to watch.

Unfortunately, they gave Fai an idea.

The blonde looked over the mechanical duck, car, and space ship that were lined up next to the playground. He smiled. "Hey Kobato-chan, how about we ride one of those things over there~?" He pointed to the rides.

Kobato looked over at what Fai was pointing at and frowned uncertainly. "Um Fai-san, don't you think that we are a bit old to ride those things?"

Fai then dramatically gasped as he placed a hand on his forehead. "Oh dear~! Kobato-chan, what are you saying~?" He patted the girl on the head. "You are never too old to be a kid~! Look at me, I'm an adult but there's a little boy inside just waiting to pop out~!" He twirled around a bit to prove his point.

Kobato laughed softly. "I guess that's true." Then she smiled greatly at the rides. "I call the car~!"

Fai smiled in return. "That's the spirit~! In that case, I call the space ship~!"

The two ran to their desired rides and got on. They pressed the start button at the same time and laughed as they pretend they were either in space or on an adventure. (**1**)

After several minutes, Kobato started to get tired; she was happy but was a bit bored. "Hey Fai-san, can we go somewhere else? I'm not feeling the excitement of the rides anymore."

Fai pouted but soon smiled. "Okay; I guess good things can only last for so long."

Kobato nodded happily as she got off the car; ignoring the looks of disapproving parents and happy-go-lucky children. She walked to the space ship where Fai was sitting on. How he managed to fit inside the kid-size only seat was beyond her. "So, ready to go?"

The blonde nodded. "Sure~!" He started to stand up…..but then found out that he can't get out. His eyes widened. "Oh no." His legs were stuck in the seat and pretty locked in. He used his hands and pulled him out. No luck. "Um…Kobato-chan, we have a problem." (**2**)

Kobato's eyes widened.

Oh boy.

* * *

"Damn. I'm so glad that we are done. I can't take much more of that crap." Kurogane commented as he and Fujimoto were driving back from their errand.

"Heh, no kidding. I thought my head was going to explode." Fujimoto scowled. This is not how he wanted to spend the day, but as last Kurogane was there to help him.

Kurogane glanced at Fujimoto before concentrating on the road. "Hey, call your ditzy girlfriend and ask her where she and the moron are. I want to pick them up and get something to eat."

Fujimoto nodded and was about to take out his cell phone when it started to vibrate. Confused, he took out the cell phone anyway and answered it. "Yeah?" A pause. "Oh hey Kobato, I was about to call you. We were thinking of picking you two up and getting some dinner. You want in?"

The young man listened on the other line before his nonchalant slowly turned to a looks of surprise as his eyes widened and his mouth opened; gaping silently. "Wait, wait, wait! Slow down! What happened?"

Kurogane stopped at a red light and spared a look at Fujimoto who looked like he was about to hit his head on the dashboard. "What is it?"

Fujimoto held up his index finger; telling Kurogane to wait a moment.

The taller man shrugged as the light turned green and he started driving again.

"Okay; we'll be right there. Don't do anything until we get there…..I don't know just tell them to try harder! They're there for a reason; tell them to do their job! Okay then, see you soon…Bye." Fujimoto hanged up and sighed in exhaustion.

Kurogane raised an eyebrow but didn't look at the young man. "So what was that all about?"

"Go to the mall."

The taller man looked at Fujimoto confusedly. "What?"

"I said 'go to the mall?'" Fujimoto was griping his jeans a bit too roughly. "There's something there that Kobato wanted us to see."

"And that is….?" Kurogane took a turn near the outer area of the mall.

Fujimoto had a grim look on his face; one that Kurogane had seen too often with Syaoran.

"You'll see."

* * *

"WHAT THE HELL!"

Fujimoto sighed. "Oh man, it sounded less worse over the phone."

* * *

Several minutes ago…

Kurogane was very calm when he parked in one of the parking spaces around the mall. However he was a bit worried when there were a couple of police cars in front of the mall entrance. _'Whatever. I'm sure that the moron didn't have anything to do with them.'_

As Fujimoto and Kurogane went into the mall…it was oddly quiet. Granted, almost half the town's people were on vacation for one reason or another but for the place to be that empty was a bit unnerving.

"So where is this thing that Kobato wanted us to see so badly?" Kurogane asked.

Fujimoto walked towards one of the staircases. "She said it was on the first level."

"Okay."

At the foot of the stairs, Kurogane and Fujimoto were walking on the first level just glancing at random store windows and such. If it wasn't for the fact that almost no one was in said stores then that would've been normal.

While walking at normal speed, a couple of kids ran past the two; giggling as they go. Kurogane was about to comment on how kids can be so careless (or braty in his own words) when he caught a bit of their conversation.

"My mom said that a guy was stuck there for hours! The people working here are trying to get him out."

"Was this guy fat?"

"No, I saw him myself, he was really skinny; like a twig."

"Then how did he get stuck?"

"Beats me."

Kurogane was about to call those kids over when he saw a huge crowd up ahead. "Hey, there's a commotion over there."

Fujimoto looked ahead. "Oh, so that where he is…" He muttered to himself. "Hey, let's check it out." He told Kurogane.

"Okay."

As they walked closer to the crowd, there were bits and pieces of conversation going around but they seem to revolve over a single topic.

"Hey did you hear…."

"That poor man!"

"What kind of person would just sit on that thing and _not_ get stuck in there! Shows how dumb he is!"

"Mommy, why is that man stuck?"

"I don't know sweetie. Let's just go home."

"Man, the blonde dude is one rebel; I'll tell you that much!"

Kurogane had heard enough. He didn't need to hear more. He just wanted to know what happened here. "Hey! What the heck is going on here!"

All heads turned. All was silent for a moment.

"Kurogane-san! Fujimoto-san!" A voice ringed out.

Fujimoto look above the crowd and saw a small hand waving above the people. "Ah, Kobato!"

The crowd moved out of the way as the two moved towards the center of attention. Then they stopped and were shocked at what they saw.

"WHAT THE HELL!" Kurogane screamed out.

Fujimoto sighed. "Oh man, it sounded less worse over the phone."

Fai looked up from his stuck position as ten security guards and a couple of police men were trying their best to pull him out. "Ah, Kurgy~! Long time no see~?"

"One day.." Kurogane seethed darkly. "All I asked was for one day of no incidents, no police involved and no stupid stuff. _Was it really too much to ask!_"

Then Kobato came between Kurogane and the stuck blonde. "It's not his fault! He showed me a really good time today! We just sat the kiddy rides and for some reason he got stuck! He didn't plan for that to happen!"

Kurogane sighed angrily as he looked at Fujimoto.

The young man shrugged. "She's telling the truth. In fact there hasn't been a day that she hasn't told the truth."

The taller man looked at Fai whose face was apologetic. "….Is that really true Fai?"

Fai nodded. "Yes, Kuro-sama…it is." He almost missed the apologetic smile that Kurogane was giving.

"Okay…..now!" The police man told the other helpers around Fai. "One more time! Ready..one…two…THREE!"

And suddenly Fai was out of the space ship. He moved his legs and placed them calmly on the floor. He looked up and smiled. "Ta~da~!"

The crowd cheered while Kobato and Fujimoto hugged in relief. (However it was more of Kobato hugging Fujimoto; the man just stood there and smiled faintly.)

Fai stumbled his way towards Kurogane. "See Kurgy, no harm done~! And I did keep my end of the promise. Kobato and I had a good time~!"

Kurogane couldn't help but chuckle. "I guess you did. But one thing I don't get; why did you do it?"

"Well…" Fai smiled mischievously. "I wanted to prove to Kobato that you're never too old to be a kid! Though….it backfired." He giggled as if his grand plan was foiled.

Sighing, Kurogane placed a hand on Fai and ruffled his hair. "Really now? I think you just lost your mind."

Fai laughed loudly. "Yeah, I guess I did~!"

"Hey mommy, look at the space ship!"

The crowd turned their attention to the ride to find that there was a huge piece of fabric stuck to a hanging piece of metal.

Kurogane blushed as he quickly put two and two together. He looked at Fai with mildly shocking eyes. "….Please tell me that your pants got out okay."

Fai looked behind and turned back with a blush. "Hehe~! Nope~!"

"Oh god." Kurogane groaned out.

"But hey, one good thing came out of this~!"

"What could be good that would come out of _this whole situation_?"

"Well, I'm wearing my spider-man boxers~!" Fai exclaimed.

Kurogane resisted smacking the blonde.

Man, Fai was a bigger kid then he thought.

* * *

**END**

* * *

(**1**)- yes, i am aware that those rides needed money to start but technicalities fail me in stories.

(**2**)- Yes, that was pun intended considering Fai was riding a _space ship_.

**Don't forget to review and check out my other stories.**

**Until next time~!  
**


	13. Thank god for the internet

Okay another one up~! I'm actually proud of this one~! Hope you like it~!

_Inspiration:Random videos of guys doing stunts of riding down staircases and angled places. I thought it was too good to pass up~!_

_**Please read the announcement that i posted on my profile. It's very important and is listed right after my fave crossover pairings. It's very vital that you know what's going on in the next month. Thank you. **  
_

**Warning: Language, weak description of stunt and other things**

**Disclaimer: don't own them; never will**

**Enjoy~!  
**

* * *

**Just because you could do something doesn't mean you should; internet videos are there for a reason.**

**

* * *

**"Um Fai-sensei; I don't think you should go through with this."

"Don't worry Wata-kun~! It's just a little something to do. Plus it's fun~!"

"But it's a bad idea! What if Kurogane-sensei catches you doing this!"

"That's precisely why I sent him into the city to buy everyone lunch today~!"

"…I still it's a terrible idea Fai-sensei."

"Wahh~! You're no fun Wata-kun~!"

* * *

_Several minutes ago…._

Fai was watching some videos on a laptop that he borrowed from his younger brother, Yuui (**1**), who was sick that day and had to stay at home. He was glancing at some random websites until he stumbled upon a major video-viewing website. Intrigued, Fai clicked on a random video and started watching.

"Oh~! That's a nice trick those boys are doing~!" The video that he was watching was one of those tricks that mostly guys do on ramps, flights of stairs or other angled places while riding something that has two wheels or more like a bike or a shopping cart.

Unfortunately, they gave Fai an idea. "Hyuu~! Maybe I should do something like that~!"

A couple of knocks was heard on the chemistry door. "Come in~!"

The door opened to reveal Watanuki; a student at the academy who is also well-versed in cooking and all things that most girls can do. (Like sewing and junk.) "Hey Fai-sensei I—" The young man looked around and noticed that the room was completely empty. "Um where is everybody? Isn't class still in session?"

Fai waved happily. "Hey Wata-kun." He smirked at the soon-to-be-frantic boy. "Oh I just sent them to the cafeteria early since they seemed too bored to be with lil' old me~!"

Watanuki chuckled. "Sensei, _no one_ can actually be bored because of you. If anything when it comes to you even the word doesn't describe the class."

Fai laughed at Watanuki's statement as he waved him over. "Well since you're here Wata-kun, I have something to show you on the laptop~!"

Shrugging, Watanuki walked over to Fai's desk and glanced at the screen. "Wow! I didn't know anyone could do that in a school."

"I know~!"

"It's like they did this on a staircase with a shopping cart."

"That's right~!"

"I guess they were bored and wanted to do something fu—" Watanuki stopped at he glanced at the now evilly-smirking chemistry teacher. "Oh no."

Fai nodded. "Yep~!"

"You don't mean….." Watanuki pointed at the screen to confirm his '_please let me be wrong!'_ assumption.

Looking at the screen, Fai then lightly frowned. "Wahh. But I need a shopping cart to do that."

Watanuki sighed in relief. _'Phew! I guess luck's on the sanity side today.'_

"Fear not Fai-sensei for chaos will always find a way in a normal day such as this!"

The two men looked at the window.

"Wah!" Watanuki tripped over his foot as fell to the ground in surprise. "Yuuko-sensei!"

"Hyuu~! It's Yuuko-sensei~!" Fai cheered form his seat.

Yuuko smiled as she leaped into the room from the other side of the window. "Watanuki~! Don't you think that you were overreacting a little bit~?"

"I was not _overreacting_! Anyone would have been shocked by a chairman going through a window!" Watanuki cried out.

Ignoring the fallen student, Yuuko walked towards Fai and viewed what was on the screen. "Oh~! So that's what you were watching~!"

Watanuki deadpanned. "You mean you actually have no idea what was going on the whole time?"

"Well I had a lot of my mind lately." The chairman simply answered.

'_Right…'_ Watanuki then stood up and dust himself off.

Fai then showed Yuuko what he showed to Watanuki. "See here Yuuko-sensei, this is what I was showing to Wata-kun a video and I wanted to do that too~!" He then cutely pouted. "But I don't have a shopping cart to do it~!"

Yuuko then grinned. "Not to worry Fai~! I have what you are seeking~!"

'_What is this, a Fantasy computer game?'_ Watanuki was inching towards the door. "Well since I'm no longer needed, I'm going to go to the cafeteria and eat some lun—"

"Watanuki."

Watanuki froze as he turned around to see a stern-yet-joyous chairman and a smirking chemistry teacher gazing at him. "Y-yes?"

Fai's smirk became slightly darker. "You're not going to go to Kuro-rin-sensei and rat us out are you~?"

'_Well not really but now that you mention it…' _ "Uh, no Fai-sensei; I'm just going to the cafeteria and eat with friends!" Now Watanuki felt the urge to scream and hope that said teacher would hear him.

"Of course." Then Fai whipped out his cell phone and dialed a few numbers. He waited a few moments before hearing a click. "Kuro-tan-sensei~!"

"_**What the hell are you calling on your cell phone for! Aren't you still teaching?"**_

"Nope! Just ended a while ago~!"

"_**Oh for the love of…whatever! So, what did you need since you called me of all people?"**_

"Well, I was hoping if you could buy some lunches for some of our friends~!"

"_**What?" **_

"No, Kurogane-sensei! Fai—mmphmf!" Watanuki was about to scream out a warning at the phone when Yuuko jumped over the desk and covered his mouth with both of her hands to prevent him from spoiling the fun.

"_**Who's that in the background? It sounded like that wimp Yuui's always praising."**_

Fai chuckled. "Oh don't worry about that Kuro-sama-sensei. Doumeki-kun was just railing Wata-kun up again as usual~!"

"…_**.right. So you want me to buy some lunches huh? Fine, but it's going to take a while. Can you handle not seeing me during the first half of lunch?"**_

Watanuki was trying to escape the witch's clutches but was proved futile. He could only whimper in shame.

The chem. teacher just smiled. "Of course I can~! What kind of person do you take me for~?"

"…_**."**_

"Kuro-san-sensei?"

"…_**Nothing. I'll be back with the lunches soon."**_

"Okay~! Bye Kuro-Kuro-sensei~!"

"_**It's Kurogane, you stupid blonde!"**_

"Love you too~!" Fai hung up before Kurogane had the chance to retort loudly. "Well then, that settles the _other_ problem~!"

Nodding, Yuuko finally released her hold on Watanuki who pushed away from the insane duo. "So it seems. And Watanuki~!" He glanced at the now-scared student. "Since you know Fai-sensei's plans, you have no choice but to help him~!"

"WHAT!" It seems that Watanuki's school day went from normal to bad to 'oh god, help me now!' at that point.

"But Yuuko-sensei, I still don't have a shopping cart~!" Fai shouted out.

Yuuko smirked. "Not to worry. I have ways of obtaining items into my possession."

Watanuki gulped. _'Oh boy.'_

_

* * *

__Back to the point….. _

How did Yuuko obtained a shopping cart, Watanuki didn't want to know but there he was; next to Fai on top of a staircase (**2**) with said person in the shopping cart.

"Fai-sensei….are you sure you want to go through with this?" The young man asked one more time; now very worried for Fai….both for potential injuries and any punishments that were to follow.

"I told you Wata-kun; I'll be fine~! It's just a one-time thing~!" With that being said, Fai put on a bright blue helmet and a pair of goggles as he pushed the cart close to the edge. "Now then, away I go~!"

Watanuki sighed. "Okay then." He placed both his hands on the cart and then pushed it just slightly enough for it to start moving. Then he suddenly covered his eyes in fear of what will happen.

Fai smiled brightly as the cart started its movement and then leaned his body weight down. The cart then touched the stairs as it began its decent. The cart moved slowly before picking up speed. Then suddenly the cart was somehow flying just above the stairs as Fai lifted his arms in joy. "Whee~! Wata-kun look, I'm riding down the stairs!"

Watanuki sighed in relief as he uncovered his eyes only to see that Fai was nowhere in sight. "Eh? Fai-sensei, where did you go?" It was then that he noticed that the door at the end of the stairway was opened.

"Oh no."

* * *

"Woo-hoo~!"

Fai was riding down the hallway as quickly as the cart took him. He could see the shock expressions of random students as he rapidly passed by. "Haha~! Nice day we're having~!"

Then he saw the end of hallway as a corner appeared. Then without thinking, Fai maneuvered the shopping cart to the right which worked incredulously as he looked back. "Hyuu~! That was a close one~!"

And so the shopping cart ride continued.

* * *

"So Sakura, what did Syaoran said after that?"

Tomoyo and Sakura were talking casually in a hallway just after having lunch. Tomoyo was doing the talking however when it seemed she was going into a delicate topic for Sakura.

And by delicate, the writer meant embarrassing.

"Um…well Syaoran said that he'd be happy if I walked with him after school." Sakura blushed as soon as those words left her mouth.

Tomoyo nodded as she smiled. "Ah, I see! You two lovebirds are starting to get _really_ close huh?"

Sakura nodded. "Yes but can I ask you something Tomoyo?"

"Hmm? What is it?"

"Um….could you please put down the camera while I'm talking to you; I don't like to be filmed you know."

"Ah but Sakura, you look absolutely adorable when you blush~!"

"_**Beep beep! Coming through~!"**_

The two girls looked at the end of the hallway in confusion.

"Sakura; did you hear that?"

Sakura nodded. "Yes I did. It almost sounded like…."

"Like who?" Tomoyo put down her camera.

"Like-" Then she was stopped short as something passed the two by quickly as the girls heard sounds of laughter came and went down the hallway. The two turned at the other end of the hallway only to see nothing as shocked students exclaimed in surprise and wondered what the heck that was.

Sakura shook her head left and right. "Eh? That was odd."

"I know." Tomoyo put her video camera away. "What was that?"

"I don't know…but that laughter almost sounded like…"

"_**Fai-sensei! Where are you!"**_

The two girls looked again at the end of the hallway to see Watanuki run into a corner before running towards them. He stopped for a second to catch his breath. "Hey-did you see-a something pass by you-just now?" He said in between breaths.

The girls nodded as they pointed in the direction of where it went.

Watanuki smiled. "Thank you!" He then took off running again as he shouted 'Fai-sensei' down the other end of the hallway and then disappeared around the corner.

Sakura looked at the end of the hallway with a concerned frown. "I wonder what that all about?"

Tomoyo shrugged. "I'm sure whatever is the ordeal; I'm sure Kurogane-sensei can handle it." Then she whipped out her photo camera. "Now, let's take some pictures of you in that Cheerleading uniform~!"

"….Tomoyo…"

* * *

_Outside the school building…. _

"Damn it, why do I have to do favors for that guy?" Kurogane was just back from buying some lunches for the rest of the group. He grumbled as he tried to hold all of them in one arm. "He better repay me for this. He went to the main entrance and almost pushed the double doors open when faint sounds reached his ears. "Huh?"

He pressed his ears to the door. He could hear sounds of laughter, yelling and maybe some screeching. He growled as the sounds grew louder. "I bet that idiot had something to do with this!" He pushed the doors open. "When I get that guy I'll-"

He stopped as a shopping cart was flying towards his face. He can vaguely hear more shouting and the scene played itself in slow-motion.

'_Oh cra—'_

That was the last thing he thought before the whole world became black.

* * *

_Aftermath…._

Kurogane was in the city hospital as he lay on a white bed. He had white bandages wrapped around his head; an injury he got from that incident. He looked to his right and saw the nightstand covered in 'Get Well' cards and girly flowers. To his left was his uniform that he hadn't worn in a while.

He still couldn't believe he was out for a week after what had happened.

There was a knock on the door.

The man grunted. "Come in."

The door opened to reveal the person who caused the whole incident; Fai. "Uh hey…Kuro-sama."

Kurogane narrowed his eyes. "Hey."

Fai didn't get out of it completely unharmed. He had three band-aids on his face to prove it. "I was just checking up on you to see if you feel any better than yesterday."

"Well I do feel a bit better." Kurogane reluctantly said. "How about you?"

Fai shrugged. "Not so bad…but Yuuko-sensei said that because of what happened, she had no choice but to ban any antics within the school." He walked towards one of the vacant chairs. "So I hear from the doctors that you might be able to leave the hospital tomorrow."

"Yeah."

"….Are you mad at me?" Fai shyly asked.

"Not really." Kurogane simply answered. "I should be but I'm not. Considered yourself lucky; I'm just glad I didn't die from that crap you just pulled."

"Hehe. I guess so!" Fai was holding something behind his back. "Oh! By the way, I got something to show you~!"

"What is it?"

Fai stood from the chair and walked to the bed and sat down next to the man. He took out Yuui's laptop and opened the lid. "There's a video about us~!"

Kurogane looked at the screen with curiosity. " 'Teachers of our generation' huh?" Then as he continued to watch the video, his eyes widened and widened until they were the size of saucers. He then looked darkly at Fai.

Fai laughed at the video. "Isn't it great, it seemed that Tomoyo-chan caught the half of the fun on tape! The security cameras both inside and outside of the school filmed the rest." Fai smiled. "We're now famous~! Aren't you excited~?"

Kurogane clenched his fists.

Oh boy.

* * *

"Um doctor?"

The man looked up from his files. "Yes nurse?"

"Um, there's an angry patient chasing down a visitor on floor five with an IV stand."

The man sighed. "Get all the staff involved and make sure you got syringes (**3**) on hand."

"Sir?"

"_**Get back here you moron!"**_

"_**Haha~! Kuro-puu's angry again~!"**_

The man gave the nurse a 'See what I'm talking about?' look.

The nurse nodded. "I'll call all the nurses and available doctors to help." Then she left quickly.

The doctor sighed as he looked into one of the files. "I'm glad that Yuuko person called about that patient before." He closed the file.

"Why can't the hospital have a _normal _day for once?"

* * *

**END**

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* * *

**

Yep, no shame at all.

(**1**)-Yes, in horitsuba academy, Yuui is the younger twin. Don't believe me, go on youtube and search for the Horitsuba stuff.

(**2**)- just imagine the school with alot of staircases.

(**3**)- I don't know how else to say it, but i think it was to inject some drug to calm down a patient.

**Don't forget to review, check out my other stories and vote on the poll on my profile (you'll know when you see it)**

**Until next time~!  
**


	14. the Line between bravery and Stupidity

Hey~! Guess who's back from California~? (well a couple of people know I'm back but still ^_^) I wanted to post something since i have a bit of time off. But keep in mind i was **nowhere** near a computer for two and a half weeks so if this is not up to your expectations then i apologize. T_T

On a lighter note, I posted this on my lil sis's ( I. Jinx) birthday! (It's August 3rd. Hope you wish her a happy b-day~!)

On a funnier note: I'm glad to see that people are voting that poll on my profile. Makes a statement; you know. ^_^ (well in the most hilarious way possible ^_^)

Okay that's enough rambling for now: on with the story~!

**Warning: language and Fai being a heartless prankster. that and a couple of conversations between Syaoran and Author. (sorry, I couldn't resist)**

**Disclaimer: Don't own them; never will.**

**Enjoy~!  
**

* * *

**Living life means doing one brave thing each day…then run like hell afterwards**

**

* * *

**Syaoran knew this was a bad idea from the start, he just knew it!

But what was he supposed to do? He had little to no choice in the matter: he had to lie to Sakura about what he was doing (his heart just ached with guilt),he dragged in Watanuki and Doumeki who were in _no way possible_ wanted to participate (try explaining the situation without stuttering) and had to go on errands on Fai's account!

Speaking of, did the young archeologist mention that this was all Fai's idea?

No?

Well now you know.

* * *

"So Syaoran, did you get all the supplies I asked you to get~?"

Sighing for the hundredth time, Syaoran nodded. "Yes, Fai." He took out a folded paper from his front packet. He looked over the contents and read them out-loud while his other hand pointed to the objects in question. "Okay, four cans of paint, five paintbrushes, tape, a large pack of glitter and stuff animals." He looked at Fai rather hopelessly. "Are you sure you want to go through with this?"

Fai nodded happily. "Of course I am; it's too late to back out now Syaoran~! And besides you don't want to go through life thinking about the things you haven't done yet; am I right~?"

It wasn't that Syaoran couldn't disagree with Fai's statement.

It was just hard to take him seriously with the taller man holding five 'Hello Kitty' Plushies in his arms.

"So Syaoran, I want you to call up Wata-kun and Doumeki and tell them to meet us at the secret location~!" Fai then turned around and walked away. "Now let's go~!"

The poor boy groaned at Fai's retreating back.

'_This will end badly.'_

_

* * *

_"Man, I still can't believe you convinced us to do this Syaoran." Watanuki grumbled in discontent as he was painting the walls of a _certain_ room with a _certain_ color. He and Doumeki got Syaoran's message of where to go and what to do. The three started to paint the room while Fai went out to gather other items that he didn't tell Syaoran to get.

"I'm very sorry about this Watanuki; I didn't have much choice in the matter. Fai just came up to me while I was reading a book, grabbed me and dragged me away before I could say anything!" The young boy applied tape on some parts of the ceiling to prevent splatters of _that color. _Wouldn't want Fai to find out that they made a mess.

"I guess Fai could be as bad as Yuuko." Doumeki simply stated at he calmly finished one of the walls.

Watanuki was flabbergasted. "How the hell did you finished that wall so damn quickly!"

"Maybe if you stop running your mouth every once in a while maybe you would've been done sooner too."

"SAY THAT AGAIN YOU JERK!" The blue-eyed teen showed his rage by waving the paint-covered brush in the air.

Syaoran quickly intervened as he placed his hands on Watanuki's shoulders. "Watanuki please, let's not fight; we're already in deep trouble as it is."

Watanuki pouted angrily but nodded regardless and went back to painting. Though a few words escaped his mouth; even though Syaoran dare not want to hear it again.

"Hello~! Is everyone doing their job~!"

The three teens looked over to see Fai at the door way with a bottle of glue and cut outs of what looked like dogs with big eyes.

Syaoran and Watanuki gulped in fear. Doumeki said nothing but had a twinge of pity for the person whose room they are redecorating.

Fai glanced over at the stoic teen and hyuu-ed in approval. "My my Doumeki, you are a fast worker~! All the girls must be swooning over you~!"

Doumeki only shrugged. "Yeah, I guess."

"You _guess_? Do you know how freaking popular you are!" Watanuki shouted as he applied the brush to the wall a bit harshly than one would like. "You can be a god at that damn school for all you know; which isn't much!"

Fai softly laughed while Syaoran sighed.

"Anyway, why do you have those things, Fai?" Watanuki calmly asked.

A dark smirk came on the wizard's face. "Oh, just some finishing touches for the room."

Not liking that look one bit, Syaoran couldn't help but ask… "Are you sure you want to go through with this? They are smaller _safer_ ways to get back at him."

"Aww~! But Syaoran; that's boring~!" Fai playfully pouted.

* * *

**TD: Does Fai have a death wish or something? *sighs* Boy, is he in it when **he** comes home.  
**

**Syaoran: but Despair-san, the readers don't even know who we were talking about.**

**TD: I think they have an idea on who it is at this point. **

**Syaoran: really?**

**TD: Who else would Fai prank on in a regular basis?**

**Syaoran: …**

**TD: Exactly. Now back to the story~!**

**

* * *

**"But Fai..!" Syaoran try to plead to the mage but was cut off by a new voice at came into the room.

"Hello?"

The four males turned around to see Himawari at the doorway with a smile on her face.

Watanuki gasped happily. "Himawari, you're here~!" He started to run up to her but trip on a random object and fell face first into a vat of paint.

Himawari gasped as she ran towards Watanuki in worry. "Oh my gosh, Watanuki! Are you okay?"

Doumeki shook his head. "Moron."

Fai stifled his laughter as Syaoran planted his hand on his face in pity.

"Okay then~!" Fai clapped his hands together in glee. "We're finished~!" He stepped back a bit to view the work on the room.

Syaoran and Doumeki had splotches of paint on their clothes; obviously tired from all the painting. Watanuki wasn't fairing very well either; the proof was in his mostly pink face and what wasn't pink was red from all the scrubbing Himawari done. She was only trying to help.

Fai looked over at the mostly exhausted group and smiled. "I think you all deserve something sweet to eat for all the hard work you've done. How's that sound~?"

The three males nodded with uncertainty while Himawari nodded with enthusiasm.

Syaoran could only glance at the room as he frowned in worry.

'_Oh god what did we just do?'_

_

* * *

_[Hours later]

"God that car ride was a pain in the ass." Kurogane grumbled as he went up the stairs. He and Sakura were riding with Yuuko to go some errands; errands that the witch could have done herself. Walking down the hallway, he reached the door of his room which was at the end of the room.

Grabbing the door knob, he opened the door and stepped inside only to find out that the room was pitch black inside.

"Huh? I didn't remember the room to be this dark before." Flicking the switch next to the door, Kurogane turned the light on in the room. "I guess winter's really coming; it'll be freaking cold for some ti-_WHAT THE HELL?_"

Before him was his room..or what was changed into. Inside the place was pink and sparkles everywhere! Cut-outs of puppies and kittens on the freshly pink painted walls, glitter scattered on the floor; creating a shiny effect, and a plump pink bed with 'Hello Kitty' stuff including a pink wand with a sentence and his name on it.

Well sort of…

* * *

**TD: What does it say on the wand?**

**Syaoran: *picks up the wand* It says 'To the 'Manliest' man I know; My darling Kuro-rin~!**

**TD: ….oh man**

**Syaoran:….I know.**

**

* * *

**Kurogane could not believe his eyes. He clenched his fist as he gritted his teeth in pure rage. He could only think of one person who could go do such a thing.

And where to find that person was no big deal.

How to kill _said person_ was the dilemma.

* * *

[Somewhere else]

Syaoran, Watanuki and Doumeki were playing a board game involving money and property while Himawari and Fai were chatting over tea.

They were just enjoying a moment a peace….

Until a loud voice reached their ears.

"_MAGE!"_

The younger ones stopped what they were doing and looked around.

Fai calmly took a sip of his tea. "Well that didn't take long at all, did it~?"

Syaoran and Watanuki exchanged looks before simultaneously standing up.

"Uh I just remembered; I have to meet the princess somewhere!" Syaoran suddenly said as he ran to the back of the place.

"Yeah! I have to get some more alcohol for Yuuko! You know how much she likes to drink! Ha ha!" Watanuki chuckled nervously as he followed Syaoran out as well.

The wizard looked over at the remaining two and smiled. "That's okay. You can leave as well."

Himawari looked nervous. "Are you sure?"

Fai nodded. "Yep; besides it was my idea from the start."

Doumeki and Himawari nodded as they calmly left the room and out of the place.

The wizard took another sip of tea before he heard thundering footsteps and the door slamming open. He looked up and saw Kurogane in his raging glory; holding his sword tightly in his right hand. He smiled brightly at the man.

"So Kuro-tan, how was your day?"

What happened after was history.

* * *

**END**

**

* * *

**

Yep...Nothing much else to say except if anyone wants to know how my trip went; feel free to ask me. ^_^

**Don't forget to review, check out my other stories and vote poll on profile.**

**Until next time~! ^_^  
**


	15. Not his day

Hey what's up~? New one-shot here. Quickest idea i had in a while. May not be the _best _idea but 'flip it' I'll post this anyhow~!

_Inspiration: ATL...enough said. Well she had a basic idea so the credit of the basic idea goes to her~! so thank her for it~! ^_^_

**Warnings: usual stuff: proceed with caution XD**

**Disclaimer: don't own them; never will**

**Enjoy~!  
**

* * *

**Stealing things won't make you any better than the person who had said items in the first place**

**

* * *

**Yuui and Sakura were doing some dessert dishes in the cooking room one afternoon. They didn't have other plans afterschool so the two joined up and just starting cooking. Sakura talked about her time with Syaoran during her classes while Yuui brought up how Watanuki improved in his cooking skills while teaching that day.

All in all, it was a pretty slow afternoon.

"That's it Sakura, just don't stir it very roughly. Otherwise the mix will be too thin." Yuui calmly yet happily instructed the girl while sprinkling sugar powder on some funnel cake.

Sakura nodded with a smile as she slowed down her stirring. "So Yuui-sensei; what's it like being around your older twin again?"

Yuui stopped for a second to think about it. Then he continued the sprinkling. "It has been..very chaotic to say the least." Then he smiled softly. "But it wasn't so much of a problem." He frowned in slight irritation. "However he tends to surprise me from time to time. Makes me wonder where he gets these ideas."

Pouring the mix into the bowl; Sakura giggled. "That's Fai-sensei for you; always making each day more eventful."

Then without warning, the two distinctively heard loud laughter and yelling coming from outside of the room and apparently down the hall as well. Before long there were sounds of panting and quick footsteps as well as a giggle every now and then.

Suddenly the door to the cooking as opened and closed quickly as the figure pressed his back on the frame while breathing heavily.

Sakura looked at the figure with wide eyes.

Yuui didn't need to look up to know who the figure was. "Good afternoon brother."

Fai chuckled as his head hit the frame. "Good afternoon Yuui~!" Then he realized there was another person in the room. "Oh! Hello Sakura; I didn't see you there."

Normally, Sakura would brush it off and smile but her eyes were trailing on Fai's hands which were hiding behind his back.

Yuui looked over at the girl to see that she was looking at Fai or rather what's behind him. "Sakura; is there something wrong?"

The girl shook her head. "No but…" She looked up at Fai who was leaning back and forth on his feet while having a victorious smirk on his face. "Fai-sensei; what are you hiding behind your back?"

Fai stopped his swinging as a surprised look came across his face. "N-nothing Sakura! It's nothing at all. It's especially _not_ anything that would cause _any_ trouble for _anyone_." He nervously chuckled as his hands tighten grip on a certain object.

Yuui was not impressed. He walked forward with his hand out. "Hand it over, brother." Then he smirked. "If not, then will let whoever you took it from know where you are."

The chemistry teacher gasped. "You wouldn't!" He then let go of one hand to point at the cooking teacher. "You don't even know who it was~!"

Smiling, Yuui placed a finger on his chin. "Maybe….maybe not. I have a good idea though. Want to stick around and find out~?"

That line alone brought chills in both Sakura's and Fai's spine.

'_Wow; Yuui-sensei can be very evil to his own twin.' _Sakura thought as she sweatdropped at the scene before her.

After a few moments, Fai finally gave up. "Fine!" He then revealed the object that was placed in his other hand. "Here it is~!"

Sakura and Yuui looked over to see that what was in Fai's hand was….

A 'Dora the explorer' keychain.

….

"That's the object?" Yuui asked in sheer disbelief. "And I thought it was something harmful for people or something perverted like the last time."

Sakura blushed but her curiosity. "What did Fai took last time?"

Fai almost opened his mouth but was stopped by Yuui who ran up to him and covered his mouth with both hands.

"_Not in front of the minor!_" Yuui hissed out.

The chemistry teacher nodded before Yuui let go of him. "So, do you want to know why I have it?"

"Yeah, let's start with that." Yuui simply asked.

Then a few knocks was hear on the door.

Sakura smiled. "Come in!"

The door opened to reveal a scared Syaoran and a shaking Watanuki. Their eyes however showed the same emotion: pure terror.

The girl walked quickly to the pair with worry. "Syaoran! Watanuki! Oh my goodness; what happened!"

"…" Syaoran couldn't speak. His eyes were looking down as his face was losing color.

Watanuki on the other hand…

"That man….he just…went psycho…we didn't mean to…WE WERE JUST THERE!" The glasses-wearer was grasping his head in horror.

Yuui sighed as he hugged the poor teen. "What happen, Watanuki?" He slightly glared at Fai who whistled a random tune that sounded very close to 'Lucky star'.

Watanuki stopped shaking but still had a look of horror. "I don't know what happened. Syaoran and I were just going to the gym office to get some files for Yuuko-sensei." He looked over at Syaoran who was gripping Sakura's shoulders as if it was a lifeline. "When we opened the door the place was in ruins; papers were shredded, windows were shattered, and even the desk was broken in half!"

"And then what happen?" Sakura asked while calming down Syaoran who then showed little to no sign of calming down.

"And then…he was in the middle of the room…his back shown to us. All I ask was a question: 'Hey Kurogane-sensei; are you okay?' and then…and then…!"

Syaoran screamed out of nowhere; scaring the rest of the group. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry Kurogane-sensei! Please don't hurt us!"

"No Syaoran; he's not here! You're okay!" Sakura tried to placate the young man.

The poor boy was beyond help.

Yuui gave a look at Fai. "Brother…."

Fai held his hands up in apology. "I had nothing to do with those two."

"No but you _did_ had something to do that _led_ to those two!" Yuui shouted out the last part as he let go off Watanuki. "Brother; just give it back to Kurogane-sensei before something _worse_ happens."

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK_

The five stopped and looked at the door. Suddenly there was a dark aura seeping out from the ground and surrounding the frame. What was worse was that they saw the silhouette of the figure on the door glass.

"**Fai…**" The figure muttered out.

Then all hell broke loose.

"AHH! IT'S KUROGANE-SENSEI! SOMEONE HELP US!" Watanuki shouted out as he dropped to the floor in fear.

Syaoran; hearing the man he desperately never wanted to see for the rest of his days fainted on the spot.

Sakura screamed at the fallen boy. "Syaoran!" She kneeled on the floor to wake him up.

Kurogane by now was pounding the door with all of his might. It was a miracle that the door stayed intact. "**You moron teacher! I know you're in there! If you don't give me back my damn keychain; I'll make sure you never breathe again!"**

Fai playfully cowered though Kurogane couldn't see it. "But Kuro-chan-sensei; it's a cute keychain~! Who knew that you like little kid shows too~!"

"**I'LL MURDER YOU!**"

Yuui could only sigh in frustration as he saw the scene played itself in front of his own eyes. He could only hope that Yuuko-sensei has heard all of this and is now on her way to solve this dilemma.

He thinks that later in the night would be a good time to drink; heavily.

After all; nothing says 'stress reliever' like alcohol.

**END  
**

**

* * *

**For the last line; don't quote me on that. Just something to add for the humor factor. ^_^

**Don't forget to review; check out my other stories and vote on the 'battle of the vamps!' poll on profile**

**Until Next Time~! ^_^  
**


	16. Doesn't he look cute?

Another one up~! It's a bit so-so but i hope you all like it. ^_^

**Status on Poll:Is TRC!Vamps better then Twilight!Vamps?  
**

**20 votes for :Of course! what are you even thinking; asking a question like that! **

**3 votes for: I don't care **

**and**

**3 votes for : Yes**

Just wanted to give you readers the update on the amusing poll. ^_^

**Warning: ...the usual ^_^  
**

**Disclaimer: don't own them; never will**

**Enjoy~!**

* * *

**There are questions that are better left unanswered; no matter how the situation turns out to be**

**

* * *

**Watanuki and Syaoran were walking back to Yuuko's shop after getting some food for the night's dinner. Kurogane and Doumeki were at the park; working on their skills. That left Yuuko, Sakura, the Mokonas, Fai and Himawari (who incidentally was invited for dinner; not that Watanuki had a problem with it, hell he was dancing on lilies and sparkly unicorns in excitement).

On the way back they struck up a conversation between each other.

"So Watanuki, I was wondering; is it really true that you made a friend that turned out to be a ghost?" Syaoran asked with content curiosity. He was holding four bags of groceries.

Watanuki nodded. "Yeah, I did. He was really nice to me and helped me whenever there were spirits trying to chase me." He was carrying five bags of groceries. "But it was nice to have that one friend by my side; even if he wasn't human."

Syaoran smiled. "Well at least you have more friends now."

"Yeah…but…" Watanuki's face did a 180 turn on Syaoran.

The poor boy didn't see it coming.

"WHY THE HELL DOES THAT INCLUDE THAT DAMN DOUMEKI!" Watanuki flapped his arms in a crazed motion as he gritted his teeth in anger. "I mean come on why can't it be anyone else! I would have been so happy if it was just Himawari!"

Syaoran inched away from the spazzing teen. "I'm sure….that must hard on you….maybe." He muttered out the last word to himself.

In short the trip back was a normal as it can be with an unbalanced-emotional teen and a way-too-serious young boy.

* * *

The pair finally reached the front of the shop. Watanuki moved his right arm around to get the front door key from his pocket. He fished out a golden key with a smile. "Got it!" He placed the key inside the lock and turned it around; unlocking the door.

The two pushed the door as they entered the shop. They smiled as Maru and Moro ran up to them with happy expressions.

"Watanuki's back! Watanuki's back!" They cheered as Watanuki nodded at them.

"Hey you two." Watanuki greeted them. He then looked around with a confused expression. "Do you know where everyone are right now?"

Maru giggled. "The mistress is entertaining the guests in the main room!" She took Syaoran's share of the bags.

Moro smiled. "And the ninja is still out with Doumeki!" She then took Watanuki's share of the bags.

Watanuki sighed in relief. "Thank god; now I can work in peace."

Syaoran chuckled in amusement.

"Maru and Moro will order the groceries while you two go and see the mistress and our guests!" Maru said with a smile.

"Besides, the mistress told us that as soon as you two are here; she wants to see you both immediately!" Moro added.

Watanuki and Syaoran exchanged looks as the two young girls left them and went to the kitchen.

"I wonder what the dimensional witch want with us?" Syaoran wondered outloud.

The blue-eyed boy shrugged. "Who knows; with Yuuko you can't be sure of anything anymore."

Syaoran agreed. He had heard the stories of the witch's antics from the part-timer.

He could only pity the teen.

* * *

As the pair were walking towards the main room, the boys could hear giggling coming from the main room along with a couple of chuckles mixed into it.

"Well it sounds like everyone is having a good time." Syaoran commented with a content smile.

Watanuki nodded. "I guess so; I just hope that it doesn't involve alcohol."

Then the two stopped walking as the statement sunk into their heads.

"You don't mean…" Syaoran trailed off. Oh no; oh dear god no!

"AHHH! Himawari!" Watanuki cried out.

"Oh my gosh; Princess!" Syaoran cried out at the same time.

The two started running the rest of the way over as the thoughts of two drunk innocent girls entered their heads.

* * *

The two males entered the room rather quickly. Unfortunately, they tripped on their own footing in their hysteria and fell on the floor.

The people in said room turned their heads to see Watanuki and Syaoran groaning in pain while their faces were implanted on the floor.

"Oh my goodness; Syaoran!" Sakura cried as she stood up from where she was sitting and ran up to the boy. "Are you alright!"

Using all of his strength to lift his head; Syaoran could only smile at her. "Yeah….I'm fine princess…I just tripped; that's all…ow." Sakura helped the boy sit up as his face was now red with carpet markings.

Himawari covered her mouth as she walked up to Watanuki. "Oh dear; Watanuki are you okay?"

Watanuki suddenly sat up with a smile. "I'm fine Himawari~! I just tripped that's all~!"

The brown-haired girl giggled. "Well that's a relief." She flashed a smile at the blue-eyed boy; making him swooned over her once again.

Syaoran smiled at Sakura with reassurance until he noticed something. "Um princess, did you do anything to your face; it looks nice."

Sakura blushed but reached into her pocket. "Why yes I did." She took out a small canister and a brush. "Yuuko was teaching us how to apply this stuff called make-up." She screwed the lid off as she applied some on the brush and placed it on her cheek. "I hear this stuff makes your skin look prettier in color." She then dusted some on her cheek.

The brown haired boy smiled. "Oh. Well I think you look very beautiful, Sakura."

The princess's face turned from a dusty pink to a bright red. "T-thank you very much Syaoran."

Watanuki looked at Himawari. "So what about you; were you applying make-up as well?"

Himawari nodded. "Yeah, but I was going to put some lipstick on. Wanna see?"

The teen nodded so quickly that one might think his head would fall off.

The teenage girl took out a stick of lipstick and flipped the cap off. "This color is called 'Midnight Purple'. I thought it was a good choice to choose." She then applied a layer of the color onto her lips. She then rubbed them together in a slow manner; making sure all parts of her lips are covered.

Watanuki was gaping like a fish out of water.

Himawari then smiled at the teen. "So, how does it look?"

Moment of silence.

"I think…." Then out of nowhere, Watanuki was clasping his hands in glee. "That color look so good for you Himawari~!"

"Why thank you Watanuki." Himawari smiled; obviously confused of Watanuki's bright and cheerful demeanor.

The Mokonas giggled.

"Wow; who knew that Watanuki wanted to wear make-up so badly~?" The black Mokona wondered out loud in a playful tone.

The white Mokona nodded as she applied mascara.

Himawari had to hold Watanuki back so he wouldn't strangle the thing.

That didn't stop him from yelling though.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY! COME OVER HERE AND I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT'S WHAT!"

Syaoran shook his head as he then looked at the witch..only…her back was facing him. "Ms. Yuuko; what are doing over there?"

Yuuko looked back and smirked before turned her back at him again. "I'm just putting on some final touches."

"On what?" Syaoran's curiosity was getting the best of him again.

"Almost there….and done!" Yuuko exclaimed in joy. She then she turned around to face the whole group. "Ladies, Gentleman and Mokonas; I have accomplished the impracticable!" She then moved out of the way to let the rest see what she has done.

Syaoran gasped. "What the…!"

Himawari beamed in excitement; leading her to accidently dropping Watanuki on the ground. "Oh my gosh Yuuko! You did a fine work!"

Watanuki, who was now on the floor, blushed heavily at the sight. "….Wha?"

Sakura smiled as she clapped her hands in joy. "Oh my, that's wonderful Ms. Yuuko!"

Even the Mokonas cheered. "Yay~! So pretty~!"

Yuuko smirked at the reactions she was getting. "So Fai; how do you feel~?"

Fai was the subject of Yuuko's make-up experiment. He was more than willing to volunteer for the project. As he sat on the floor, Yuuko started applying some blush on his pale skin; adding more color to it. Then she applied some red lipstick on his lips; making them shiny and fuller. Then she applied some mascara, blue eyeliner and to top it all off some glitter to make his eyes shine. It was a female's dream to make a guy like Fai pretty.

The mage touched his face lightly. "Well it feels a bit heavy but other than that; I'm fine." His smile make his red lips glistened in the light.

Syaoran looked like he was going to have a heart attack.

Watanuki was the first male to find his voice. "Um Fai…..why are you wearing make-up?"

Fai chuckled. "Because I wanted to." He then tilted his head. "Don't I look beautiful~?"

"…" Watanuki for once could not find the will to retort. Fai did look pretty but it was so wrong on so many levels.

Himawari, Sakura and the Mokonas on the other hand were giggling as they couldn't believe how pretty Fai looked in all of that make-up. Even Yuuko was smiling victoriously.

Syaoran only prayed that no one else would see the wizard like this. _'Oh please don't let Kurogane see this! Oh please don't let Kurogane see this!' _As he looked at Yuuko; the witch looked back at him with a mischievous smile. His heart dropped. Oh no.

Then it happened…

"Hey witch! Blank-face and I are back!"

"Yo."

Watanuki and Syaoran exchanged looks of horror as Doumeki and Kurogane came into the room. They could only pray that they wouldn't notice a thing.

Kurogane placed down his sword while Doumeki put his bow and arrows on the ground. They were sweating and covered in dirt.

Sakura smiled at the two. "Welcome back~!"

The ninja and the archer nodded in return.

Kurogane looked over at Watanuki and Syaoran who were shaking in terror. "What's with you two; you look like something awful just happened."

Oh the dear irony.

Himawari giggled. "Hey Kurogane, Doumeki; could you look over here? There's something you need to see!"

Watanuki and Syaoran gaped at the girl. _'No! Anything but that!'_

Unfortunately, Kurogane and Doumeki looked at where she was looking at stared. Their eyes landed at the pampered up Fai who was smiling and waving at then in return.

Watanuki and Syaoran could only hold their breath as the silence between the pretty mage and the quiet pair.

Finally, Kurogane broke the silence.

"Who's the chick?"

….

The Mokonas started laughing their tails off while Sakura blushed in embarrassment.

Himawari and Yuuko shared a knowing smile.

Watanuki face-palmed at the statement.

Syaoran walked to a corner where he trying to stifle his chuckles.

Doumeki was the only one who had the decency to add something to the scene. "Wow. Who knew Fai looked good in red lipstick."

Kurogane raised an eyebrow at Doumeki before it clicked into his head. He did a double-take on the person.

Oh boy.

"WHAT!"

Fai laughed at Kurogane's expense. "Haha~! Kuro-puu thought I was girl~! I must be really beautiful~!"

The ninja blushed at the words. "I-I-god-WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED!" He finally screamed out.

"I think you just got served." Doumeki simply stated as everyone was now trying not to die from laughter.

Is there a moral to this story?

Not really.

But for future reference; if anyone wants to make Kurogane look like a fool; intentional or otherwise…

….make sure his sword is nowhere near any reachable distance.

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**END**

* * *

XD

**Don't forget to review, check out my other stories and vote for the vamp poll on profile**

**Until Next Time~! ^_^  
**


	17. A night out

Late night writing...can be a good thing unless you're super tired and you can't think straight. (Like it matters to you all; you get to read this at daytime XD)

On another note: I'm happy to say that _Twisted Tales of Tsubasa _(the first one folks) has reached its 4K number of hits! I'm so happy~!

And to those who just started reading this set of oneshots; go and read the first set. It's not as good as this set but it had the same amount of effort put into it. So please check that one out~!

**Warning: the usual and then some**

**Disclaimer: Don't own them; never will**

**Enjoy~!  
**

* * *

**A night out is great once in a while; until someone gets drunk**

**

* * *

**"Hey Kuro-sama; let's go out tonight~!"

Kurogane put down his newspaper on the dining table as he looked over at Fai in confusion. "What?"

Fai chuckled as he was cooking an omelet with pieces of meat. "Kuro-puu; you should really listen to what people have to say~!" He then placed a hand on his cheek. "Otherwise, you'll never get a girlfriend~!"

Kurogane almost ripped his newspaper in two. "_I thought I told you never to use that joke ever again!_" He screamed out; causing Fai to giggle.

"Wahh~! Kuro-rin's mad again~!"

Sighing in reluctance, Kurogane closed his paper and gave Fai his full attention. "Now; what the hell are you babbling about again?" Knowing the blonde; it can't be good.

Fai smiled as he walked towards the table with the breakfast in hand. "I was just saying that maybe we should go out tonight~!" He placed the plate in front of the tan man.

Kurogane huffed as he took a piece and popped it in his mouth. "What made you say something like that?"

The blonde chuckled. "Well, don't you think it'd be nice to do something different once in a while~?" He almost smirked when Kurogane was pondering over the subject.

"Hm…" _'A night out would be nice; it'd be better than staying at home. Plus if we're in the city; I could just ditch the moron so I could read my manga in peace.' _Kurogane looked over at Fai who was looking back at him with curious eyes. "Fine; we'll go tonight. Just get ready okay?"

Fai cheered as he pumped his fist in the air. "Hyuu~! Kuro-tan wants to have fun~!"

"I never said that, dummy." Kurogane angrily retorted.

The statement was (purposely?) ignored as Fai ran out the room. "Yay~! We're going out tonight~! Wait till I tell Yuui and Watanuki about this~!"

Kurogane nearly choked on his food.

"WHAT!"

* * *

[Later at night]

"I can't believe that I'm still doing this." Kurogane muttered out as he looked over at the small group. He glared as Fai was talking excessively to Watanuki and Yuui who were trying to keep up. Kurogane sighed as he looked up at the bright lights of the city.

So much for ditching Fai.

Plus if he did; he will not hear the end of it from Yuui. And Knowing Watanuki; it will reach Yuuko in no time flat.

And he'd like to keep his job as gym teacher; thank you.

Watanuki looked at Kurogane's back and frowned. He could tell that the man didn't want to be here with them. He could only sympathize with him. While the twins weren't looking; the teen ran up to him. "A-ah, hey Kurogane-sensei." He greeted politely at the man.

Kurogane glance briefly at him. "Watanuki; you can drop the prefix. We're not at school."

The blue-eyed teen nodded. "Of course, sir." Then he softly smiled. "I'm guessing you don't want to out either."

The tan man sighed. "Well duh; what give you that idea?"

Watanuki could tell that he was being sarcastic. "Well I was kicked out of my own place by the damn Doumeki! He said some junk about me being a loner and then just tossed me outside!" He huffed as he crossed his arms angrily. "What does that jerk know about anything; I go out….sometimes."

"Yeah, I'm sure you're a party-boy." Kurogane answered back. He then sighed before ruffling Watanuki's hair. "I wouldn't worry. Try to make the best of the night out from hell."

Watanuki blinked before smiling. "Okay then Kurogane."

"Hyuu~! Wata-kun~! Kuro-pon~!"

The teen and the man looked back to see Fai waving at them…several feet behind them. Yuui chuckled as they were shocked that they were ahead.

"What do you want?" Kurogane rudely asked.

Fai pointed to a building right next to him. "There's a neat restaurant that serve drinks~! Let go to that one~!" He didn't wait for the others' replies as he ran close to the building; laughing along the way.

"Brother! Don't run off like that!" Yuui cried out as he desperately tried to catch up with his older twin.

Kurogane and Watanuki (along with other by-standers) just watched as the other two ran about until they entered the building.

The tan man sighed as he rubbed his forehead in frustration. "Great…knowing the idiot; he'll try to snag a drink."

Watanuki looked up at Kurogane nervously. "Will he be okay?"

Kurogane simply stared at the boy.

"No, but that's why I'm apparently here."

"…Good point."

* * *

Kurogane was right of course.

As soon as the four were seated into a table, Fai ordered the first alcoholic drink they have. Yuui tried to persuade his twin that there was a minor in the group and he shouldn't be drinking at all.

But even that was a futile attempt as everyone watched Fai down an entire bottle of wine. Then a few cups of sake; then four cups of beer and soon on and so forth.

Kurogane, Watanuki and Yuui could only watch in horror as Fai's speech and action slowly disappear with each cup.

"…Are you going to stop this, Kurogane?" Yuui asked as he swiped a bottle of liquor from Fai's hands.

"Yuui~! Wh' did yo' tke that fro' me~?" Fai cried out but his alcohol level was surpassing even the hardest liver capabilities.

Kurogane faintly smirked. "Just wait until we get out."

Yuui sighed. "Will I like it?"

Watanuki sweat-dropped as Fai was holding on to him and singing a random tune while hic-upping.

"No." Kurogane simply said. "But believe me; it'll teach your brother a lesson in drinking."

Yuui thought about it. He sighed. "Fine, but promise me that whatever you're planning won't hurt him."

"Gah! Fai-sensei, you're choking me!"

"O' com' on Wata' *hiccup* nuki~! Hav' a bit o' fun onc' in a whil'!"

"Don't worry about that. I think he's doing a good job of hurting others though."

"Com' on Yuui~! Join us~!"

"GAH! Fai-sensei!"

Yuui dropped his head on the table.

Kurogane patted his back with sympathy.

One could only handle their twin for so long.

* * *

The group finally left the restaurant with a drunk Fai in tow. Yuui was helping him walk by being his support.

Watanuki was rubbing his neck. Who knew Fai had such wonderfully horrific strength.

Kurogane was walking ahead of them with a faint smirk on his face. Not long now. He then spotted a tree. He then took off his jacket. He walked up to the tree.

He gestured to Yuui to get over where he was. "Hey, put the moron on the bench!"

Yuui looked confused but did what the man said. "Hey brother; let's go over to that bench." He plopped Fai on the bench as gently as he could.

"Ngh. Yuui. Wher' ar' we?" Fai sleepily said.

"We're still in the city. But don't worry; we'll be home soon."

Fai didn't seem to have heard him as he was looking around. "Where's Kuro' and Watanki'?

Yuui ruffled Fai's hair. "They're here; just getting something to eat since we never got to order any food." He bit back a comment about Fai's drinking tendencies.

Fai smiled in a giddy fashion. "Hehe. Big dog got an'gy huh~?"

The younger twin looked away. "I wouldn't worry about it."

The older twin laughed softly. "The room's spin'n Yuui. Ooh~! So many stars~!"

Yuui frowned. "Oh boy; he's gone now."

"Hey moron!"

The twins looked at Kurogane as he was waving at them.

All of a sudden, Fai was smiling brightly at him. "Kuro-rin~!"

* * *

_[Fai's head]_

_Kurogane was smiling as he waved him over. "Fai! Over here Fai! Let's have fun together~!"_

_

* * *

_[Reality]

"Hey idiot; are you deaf? Get over here now!" Kurogane cried out. He was standing in front of the tree. He's just waiting for him to run over to where he was.

He smirked as Fai wobbly stood up and started to walk over him. "Come on Fai! I'm right here!"

* * *

"_Fai~! Come on~! I might give you a hug if you hurry~!" Kurogane called out in a happy fashion._

_

* * *

_The blonde started to walk fast, and then he started to pick up the pace. Then before anyone knew what was happening; he started to run. He was running quickly towards the taller man.

Yuui helplessly looked at the scene before him. What was going on? Then he looked over to where Kurogane was standing. '_Why would Kurogane be standing in front of the tree like that?' _Then it clicked in his head.

Oh no.

"Wait brother! Don't run towards him!" Yuui cried out.

It was too late.

"Kuro~!" Fai was a few feet from Kurogane suddenly…

Kurogane moved out of the way….

The whole scene seemed to have been playing in slow motion.

Fai…the tree…Yuui's look of horror…Kurogane's smirk of victory…

Then…

_BONK!_

"Owie~!" Fai held his nose as a dent of his face was shown on the bark of the tree. If looked upon closely; the dent had a couple drops of blood as well. His head then started to spin as he finally fainted. He then fell to the ground; hard.

Yuui ran up to Fai. "Brother!" He held him up. He could see in surprise that Fai's face had a smile. Now he was really confused.

Kurogane walked up to the pair. "There. It's done."

"What's done! You just had brother run into a tree!" Yuui cried out. He looked around and was now really frustrated. "And where's Watanuki!"

"The whimp got a ride home by that blank face kid just a while ago; I told him that he needed the rest after what that moron has done to him." Kurogane kneeled down to Yuui's eye level. "And for the first question; it's to make sure your idiot of a brother wouldn't do anything dumb when he's drunk."

"But the tree!"

"Oh that was also payback for the 'girlfriend' joke he told me earlier today." Kurogane blushed but shook his head. "That guy just never knew when to quit."

"….." Yuui was speechless. He just didn't think the night would get any worse. But it did.

And no amount of alcohol will make the event go away.

Not that he'll drink for a while.

* * *

[Aftermath]

"Yuui; what happened last night?" Fai had a bandage on the bridge of his nose.

Yuui was making some tea for Fai. When Fai woke up; Yuui made sure that he was comfortable as possible.

Just in case Fai _did_ remember what happened the night before.

"Well we all went to a restaurant and you drank the whole building's worth of liquor." Yuui gave him a cup.

"Oh~!" Fai took the cup. "But can't I remember anything?"

"…..you dropped your head on the table pretty hard." Yuui lied. No point in telling the truth; he saw the incident with his own eyes and still couldn't believe it. "So what did you learn, brother?"

Fai chuckled. "Never to drink excessively around people I know~!"

"Good." Yuui thought that will be the end of it. _'Just drink some tea and move on.' _He thought that the discussion was over as Fai remained silent. He sighed in relief.

Maybe what Kurogane did was a good thing…in a way.

"Hey Yuui?"

"Yes brother?"

"I heard on the news earlier about a huge dent on a tree where we were last night. I wonder what happened there."

Then again there are other ways; other _non-revealing_ methods to make Fai from doing drastic things.

"Yeah, I wonder about that too."

He'll have a talk with Kurogane about last night's event.

That and get some medicine for Watanuki's neck.

Who ever thought that Fai could be so strong when drunk?

* * *

**END**

* * *

**Please review, check out my other stories and vote the Vamps poll on profile**

**Until Next Time~! ^_^  
**


	18. COFFEE!

Okay next one up~!

Well for this one i read a random book that had everything to do with coffee (history, how its made...ect). I show it to my mom and we got a laugh out of it. XD Especially at the lingo for saying 'coffee'. XD So i wanted to write something about it and then put my own twists into it. ^_^

**Warning: randomness and cursing**

**Disclaimer: don't own them; never will**

**Enjoy~!  
**

* * *

**Sudden knowledge will confuse the hell out of people**

**

* * *

**Kurogane was walking down a flight of stairs one fine morning. He yawned as the wave of coffee hit his senses. He blinked as a kitchen came into view. "Hmm. I think a cup of coffee would be okay. Better then whatever vile (He meant sweet) crap the mage will cook later." He started going into the kitchen only to see the mage cooking breakfast with pajama pants…

And a pink frilly apron no less.

'_Geez mage; what's with you and pink clothing?' _Growling, Kurogane went to the kitchen table and sat on the one of the chair. _'And you tell me I have problems.' _When he realized that Fai didn't turn to greet him; he cleared his throat a bit loudly.

It seemed to work as Fai looked up from the stove and turned to his side and saw Kurogane. "Oh Kuro-puu~! Good morning~! I didn't see you there~!" He smiled as he turned the stove to low heat.

Kurogane huffed. "Yeah, right. You're just looking for a reason to piss me off." He glanced at Fai's pants for a second. Are they…shaking?

Fai waved off that comment. "Sill Kuro-tan; it's too early for that and the kids are still sleeping~!"

"For the last time wizard; they are _not_ our kids." The ninja wanted to say it would biologically impossible for men to bear children the way women do but he held it back. He didn't want another lecture of the human anatomy from the magician. That blonde sure wanted kids badly.

"Whatever you say." Fai smiled as he went to the coffee maker. "So how do you like your coffee this fine morning~?"

"Black." Kurogane simply stated. "No cream and no damn sugar in it." Then he glared at Fai's giddy expression. "And I'll know if you did, you sneaky twig."

Laughing, Fai poured the coffee into a mug. Then as he looked at the liquid, the wheels in his head began to turn. He smirked. "Okay Kuro-kuro! One _Muddy Water_ coming right up~!"

…

"What the hell did you say mage?" Kurogane had to shake his head in case he was still asleep somehow. "I asked for coffee not 'muddy water'."

Fai chuckled. "That's _exactly_ what I said, Kuro-rin~!" He then took two mugs of coffee (one black and one filled to the brim with sugar) to the table and sat down across from the ninja as he gave the man his cup.

"No you didn't." Kurogane took a sip. "You said 'muddy water'. I don't know what you call them in your crazy-ass world but in this one it's called 'coffe—what are you laughing about mage!" Kurogane glared at the wizard.

Fai was trying not to spit out his coffee. "Haha! I-I'm sorry Kuro-love. It's just that it's amusing to hear that coming from you~!" He calmed down as he took a sip. "It also seems amusing that you think you know everything. What a cutie ninja you are~!"

"Oh yeah, and you think you do mage?" Kurogane challenged Fai; feeling angrier by the second. "I bet you don't know crap about anything let alone coffee!"

One look from Fai's face almost made him take back his words. _Almost_.

"Oh~? Is Kuro-sama questioning my intelligence~?" He glanced over his mug and smiled. "Very well, prepare to be amazed at the knowledge I have obtained from this world." Fai smirked as he finished his coffee. He then got up and left the kitchen.

Kurogane just stared at the doorway as he heard sounds of shuffling and the occasional soft crash of a pile that probably fell down. He was about to get up from his chair when he saw the mage walking back into the room with what looked like a book; except it was a bit smaller. He raised an eyebrow. "Why the hell do you have a book?"

Fai only smiled as he sat back down. "_This_ Kuro-chan; is all the information you need to know about coffee; the history, the trivia, and other things that you never thought actually knew before. And you thought you knew everything right~?" He then opened the book. "Now let's see….where to start~?"

Kurogane huffed. "Like _one_ book will help teach _me_ about something I already know."

Fai chuckled as he tried to find his page. "I'm sure you do. That's why Yuuko pokes at you when you _don't_ know anything."

"Hey! How the hell was I suppose to freaking know that vampires don't sparkle!_You_ were the one who dragged me to see that crap!" Kurogane then sighed heavily as he placed his head in his hands.

"Silly Kuro-kun, you should never blame other people for your own mistakes~! Ah, found it~!" Fai showed Kurogane the page. "See on this page, there's a section that has different lingo (or names) for coffee."

"Ha! As if magician!" Kurogane scoffed. "Coffee's coffee. How can be more ways to say it!"

Fai smirked. "Oh such ignorance. Now then…" He cleared his throat. "There's _Americano_, _Café_, _Bean juice, Battery Acid—"_

"Battery Acid?" To Kurogane; it sounded more like a poison then an actual drink. "Are you sure we're talking coffee here?"

"Shh Kuro-muu; you shouldn't interrupt a person when they are talking." When he got the expected reaction, Fai continued on reading. "Now then; _Cupped lightning, Black gold, Brain juice _(Kurogane snorted at that) _Daily Grind, Drip, Jitter juice _(the ninja couldn't argue with that one), _Leaded, Lifeblood, Morning Mud, Mother's little helper _(yes, god help all mothers in all of the worlds), _my favorite poison, plasma, Swedish Gasoline, Wakey juice _and _Morning Thunder_." He closed the book.

Kurogane stared. "Those are the most _ridiculous_ names for coffee I have ever heard! This is why it should be just called coffee!" He then he glared at Fai. "And how the hell did this help the fact that you know coffee more than I do!"

Fai smirked as he placed a hand on his chin. "Well Kuro-puu, unlike you, I learn what each world will call things. I think it's more fun in between searching for Sakura's feather. And it's nice to tease you about something in the knowledge department." He then got up from the table. "You can take a look and see for yourself." He then made his way to the stove to finish what he started.

Kurogane looked at the book and scoffed. "Like I need to read a damn book." Then he glanced at the object again. "….." He took the book and began looking over it. As he looked over at Fai who was putting breakfast on plates, Kurogane again noticed that Fai's legs were shaking. "Oi mage; what's with your legs? Are you cold or something?"

Fai looked at Kurogane before looking at his legs. He chuckled. "Oh that~! It's that not I'm cold; I just have something underneath my pants~!"

"…." Kurogane looked at the mage's legs and saw that it was shaking a bit more violently. "What did you buy last time when I was stuck with the kids and the manjuu?"

Smirking, Fai pulled up his pant leg. "These." Under the pants was a pair of dark brown tights. From the looks of it was up to his thigh and wrapping his limb well.

However, Kurogane wasn't sure whether the mage was showing the tights or 'showing some leg'. "So…you bought tights?"

"Not _just tights_. They are called Coffee tights." Fai rubbed the surface of the clothing. "You see they are for people who need more than a cup of coffee. They add more caffeine to your system when the body temperature rises." Then his blue eyes seemed a bit dilated. "I never felt _so_ awake in a long time~!"

Kurogane rolled his eyes. Then a thought came to him. "Wait; you said that they give you caffeine in your system."

"Yep~!"

"But you just got a cup of coffee a little while ago?" Kurogane's face was losing color. He was hoping that nothing will go wrong.

Fai hmm-ed in agreement. "You're right Kuro-rin~!" He was getting giddier and giddier by the second. The liquid and the added caffeine are kicking in full speed. "But why do you ask~?"

"….How long did you wore those things?"

"About five days ago~!" Then Fai pouted. "Kuro-puu; you didn't answer my question~! Why would you ask me that~?"

"…." Inching away from the mage (and the table), Kurogane's face got paler and paler until he looked like coffee with lots of cream in it. "I think you need some help…"

Fai grinned but what was frightening was that it was an evil grin. And the level of caffeine consumption was _not_ helping. "Kuro-sama….what are you saying~?"

Kurogane gulped.

Sword…he needed his sword!

* * *

[Outside]

"So Kobato, are you going to work at that store again?" Fujimoto asked. He and Kobato were walking to his work place which was a lawfirm.

Kobato nodded. "Yep~! But you know; I wish I get to see that person again~!"

"You mean that weird blonde who smiles a lot?"

"Yeah~! He was trying to get some coffee for his home. When he saw the coffee tights; he just wanted to buy it~!"

Fujimoto then stopped in his tracks. "Wait."

Kobato stopped soon after and looked at him. "Yes?"

"You mean _those_ tights?"

The girl didn't know where this was going but she nodded regardless. "Um…yes?"

"Didn't that owner told you _not_ to sell them to anyone?"

"I thought she meant the other pair; the black ones."

Fujimoto sighed. "No dummy; those ones are just tights. The coffee tights were a test-product only! Who knows much caffeine there are in those things!"

"…..oops?"

"**Get out of the way! Crazy freak on the loose!"**

The pair looked at the other side of the street to see a tall man in pajamas carrying a sword running away from something.

"**Kuro! Get back here! I'm not done with you yet!**"

And then they saw a skinny blonde with pants and an apron chasing the man with chainsaw. The two could clearly see the tights under them.

Kobato and Fujimoto looked at each other. Then the older brunette then sighed and started pushing Kobato down the street repeating to himself 'it never happened….it never happened'.

The girl just stared forward; clearly confused.

It's best to keep quiet about those kinds of things.

For you never know when your nice morning will turn into a day in hell.

The poor ninja never saw it coming.

* * *

**END**

**

* * *

**yeah...i'm shameless for putting Kurogane into those kinds of situations. XD

**Don't forget to review, check out my other stories, and vote on vamp poll in my profile.**

**Until Next Time~! **


	19. Having a death wish

Okay; another one up~! Now this might be a bit off. That's because i was having a bad day and was trying to find some humor and wrote this as a result. There's a slightly important but insignificant random OC in here but i have to put it there or **it will not work** (i mean that the story wouldn't flow if i didn't). Trust me; it won't happen again. ^_^

**Warnings: Random OC, lanuage and childish/slightly violent fight scene. (it's not that great but whatever XD)**

**Disclaimer: don't own them, never will.**

**Enjoy~!  
**

* * *

**Drinks are not meant to be shaken; unless you have a death wish**

**

* * *

**"Wah~! I'm bored~!" Fai cried out as he and Yuui were sitting inside a burger joint that was not too far from the house they resided in. Fai complained that he was hungry just moments before and Yuui opted to cook them a meal….until they realized that they have nothing in the refrigerator. So with one hungry twin and the other one mildly irritated; they decided to just eat out before going to the grocery store. It seemed like a good idea at the time…..for Fai anyway.

Yuui sighed as Fai dramatically whined for what seemed like the hundredth time. "Brother; we've only been here for five minutes. I think you can handle two more. Besides Kurogane will be joining us soon so it won't be boring for much longer okay?" The younger twin hoped that can calm Fai down for a bit. He just can't handle more people staring at them like a couple of kids.

He only hoped that Kurogane will get here soon!

"Um, excuse me."

The twins looked up to see a waitress with shirt dark-brown hair and bright brown eyes smiling politely at them. "I apologize for making you wait; it is the lunch hour and many people who have work, usually come here to eat so this place gets a bit too crowded." She bowed formally.

Yuui smiled. "No need to explain. I understand completely."

Fai nodded. "Yeah~! Beside this place is so amazing; I don't blame anyone who would want to come here~!"

The waitress giggled. "I guess that's true." She then took out a notepad and a pen. "Since I've kept you here long enough; would you like to order some drinks to start with?"

"Sure. I'll have sprite please." Yuui calmly said.

"Ooh~! I'll have coca-cola please~!" Fai cheered out.

The waitress nodded as she wrote down the drinks on the notepad. "Okay then. I'll be right back with your drinks." With that she left the twins.

Fai looked at her and smiled. "She's very polite for a waitress isn't she?"

Yuui nodded. "I agree. Now if only Kurogane can be an eighth of that. Then maybe little kids wouldn't have to run in terror every time he gets angry. " He smirked as Fai tried to stifle his giggles. He liked to joke around sometimes when he and Fai are together. He was glad that Kurogane wasn't around to hear that.

"What was that?"

…

Then again….

Yuui and Fai looked up to see Kurogane looming over them with that trademark glare of his. The younger twin felt the atmosphere dropped a few degrees.

Fai then laughed as if he saw a movie about girls fighting about sparkly vampires and fanservice werewolves. "Oh Kurgy~! Yuui was just saying how great and wonderful you are~!" He then smirked. "Do you want to know my opinion~?"

"No. I'd rather wear the witch's dresses then having to hear you." Kurogane retorted as he grabbed a chair and sat with them. "I can't believe I let _you _talk me into hanging out with you two." He was referring to Yuui but his eyes were glaring at Fai.

Fai just smiled back.

Before Yuui can calm Kurogane down, the waitress came back with the twins' drinks. "Sorry for the delay; there was a mix up in the order but don't worry it has been resolved." She smiled at them.

Kurogane scoffed. "Kiss ass."

Yuui and Fai gasped at the man. "Kurogane; that wasn't very nice!" Even though the two of them said it simultaneously, one was in a disapproving tone while the other was in a joking matter.

Guess which one.

The waitress laughed. "That's okay. I'd be surprised if I _didn't _hear that." She then placed two cups of ice for each twin before placing a can of soda next to it. "Here you go. A sprite for you and a coca-cola for you." She smiled as she saw the three confused expressions. "Oh right! I forgot to mention that due to customers' complaints on how their drinks should be poured; we've decided to just get them the can of soda of their choice with a cup of ice." She then shrugged. "Rude I know but that's what the manger Ioryogi wanted. He gets pissed off very easily."

The three looked at each other as they had the same thought. '_Ioryogi?'_

"**Oi Waitress! You're still on the clock! Get your ass moving!"**

The waitress sighed as the three customers looked at where the voice came from. "He never did learn my name." She then smiled at Kurogane. "Is there anything you like to drink?"

Kurogane looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "Green tea; no sugar." He then looked behind her. "Was that the manager just now?"

The waitress nodded. "Yep, that's him." She then shifted her eyes. "He's…a bit hard-headed at times but he means well."

Fai then smirked. "Ooh~! Just like a certain other person I know~!"

"I swear you moron; if I hear you insult me one more time-"

"I think we'll be fine for now!" Yuui interrupted a would-be verbal match. "We'll order when we're ready."

The waitress nodded. "No problem. And I'll be sure to get that green tea of yours; sir. Now if you'll excuse me." She then bowed and left the trio.

Yuui glared at both Fai and Kurogane. "Really you guys, was that necessary? We're at a public place!"

Fai pouted. "Aww, but Yuui~! I just wanted to have some fun with Kuro-tan over here~!"

Kurogane huffed and crossed his arms. "Yeah right; with you, being makeup on seemed less torturous." Then he blinked and suddenly pointed at Fai who slowly had a grin on his face. "D-don't get any ideas about it!"

Yuui sighed as he reached for his can. He looked up and saw that Fai's eyes that were on Kurogane were now on his can. "Um, brother; is everything okay?"

Slowly, Fai took the can…and shook it with all of his might.

Yuui and Kurogane could only stare as Fai used all of his arm muscle to shake the can. Then he suddenly stopped.

Fai looked up and smiled at the two. "Yes~?"

"…What the hell was that?" Kurogane asked rudely.

"Yeah, brother; was there something wrong with your soda?" Yuui added.

Fai looked at the can then at the two then at the can once more. "You could say that…." He then pointed the can in Kurogane's direction. "Hey Kurgy~!" He then started to open up the can.

Kurogane narrowed his eyes at Fai's actions. "What the hell are you doing no-mmmmpphff!" Was all he said before a spray of soda hit his face in an alarming rate.

Yuui was shocked, the people were gasping in surprise. Even the waitress who came with Kurogane's tea went back to the kitchen. This will end badly.

As fast as it started, it ended with soda dripping on the floor. Fai chuckled as he got a good look of the taller man's face.

Wet…wet and sticky.

Kurogane's face now was drenched in soda from the front of his hair to the tip of his chin. He growled as his eye twitched.

Yuui looked over at Fai. "Brother…just what did you do?"

Fai smirked as he showed the empty can; unaware that Kurogane silently took Yuui's. "I thought that Kurogane was being a bad dog so I wanted to discipline him. But I think I had too much fu—wahhhhf-!"

Yuui was shocked the second time as Fai's face soon got sprayed with soda only this time Kurogane was the culprit. He didn't even notice that the man took it.

Kurogane darkly smirked at Fai's now drenched face. "Heh. Now we're even. What are you doing to do about Fluorite?"

By now Yuui slowly got up and back away. He saw the waitress gesturing him to join her in the kitchen. He nodded. Anywhere's better then here.

Fai's eyes were covered by his bangs but he then smiled evilly as stood up and went to another table. He took a cup of what was iced coffee (as one of the customers shouted a complaint and threw the liquid at Kurogane. "Take that Kuro!"

Kurogane, who already saw that coming ducked and the liquid continued its flight….

And hit another person in its place.

Fai and other people gasped. He covered his hands in pure shock.

Kurogane stood up and turned around to see what the fuss was all about. His eyes then widened. "W-Witch!"

There stood Yuuko; who wanted nothing more than to eat out, got drenched in iced coffee. Now her outfit and face were wet.

Fai gaped at what he did. "I-I'm sorry Yuuko! I didn't mean-Kuro-rin started it!" He pointed to the man in question.

Kurogane turned his attention to Fai. "Hey! Don't pin this on me!" He shouted.

Yuuko didn't seem to have been listening as she leaned over at a table. "Excuse me but may I?" The person dumbly nodded as he gave Yuuko his drink which was orange juice. She then looked up and smirked evilly. "Of course you realize; this means war." (**1**) The she threw the liquid in Kurogane's face. "I won't lose you know."

Kurogane took his hand and wiped the juice off of his face. "That's it witch; you're on!"

Fai giggled. "Haha! Kuro-tan's getting up fired up-wahhff!" His face then got dosed in water (courtesy of Kurogane). He then shook his head to get the excess water off of him. He then smiled. "_FOOD FIGHT!_"

No one has ever seen drinks and food fly so quickly in their lifetime. No one ever thought that over half of the room would participate.

But most of all; no one knew how good an arm Fai had. That blonde can throw.

* * *

[In the Kitchen]

The waitress looked at the fight through the crack of the door. "Wow; that Kurogane guy just slipped on a grilled cheese sandwich." She then looked away before looking back. "And now that woman just threw a lemon chicken at some poor smock." She wished that she had a video camera with her. She then glanced at Yuui. "Say sir…are you okay?"

Yuui leaned his head on the wall as he groaned in irritation.

"….should I call the cops?" The waitress suggested.

Yuui turned his head without lifting his head up and stared at her. "No police officer can contain those three. Once they start; they won't stop until someone falls." He then sighed. "I can't believe brother…this is why I can't go out with him anymore."

The waitress chuckled. "I'm sure it'll be alright."

Then they heard a crash.

"**Damn it moron! You don't throw knives in a food fight!**"

"**Oh~! Since when do you follow the rules, Kuro~?**"

"**Don't you start you blonde hypocrite!**"

The waitress looked over at Yuui once more. "…do you want something to drink?

"**Kurogane~! I got something for you~!**"

Yuui thought about it. "…yes?"

"**What the—ack! You know I hate sweets!**"

"What kind of drink would you like?"

"**That's exactly why I threw it!**"

"**Haha~! She got you there Kuro-chan!**"

"**DAMN IT ALL!**"

"…..The strongest liquor you got."

Yuui then vowed never to go out with Fai again.

And not to chug a whole bottle of wine down his throat.

Gag reflex or otherwise.

**END **

* * *

(**1**)- The line Bugs bunny (Looney Tunes)says before he strike back. XD

**Don't forget to review, check out my other stories and vote on the Vamp poll in my profile**

**Until Next Time~! ^_^  
**


	20. Dear Mokona and Kurogane

Crack and humor. It'll be a five part thing. I got this idea from a website call 'Dear blank, please blank' it's freaking hilarious! Go and check it out~! ^_^

**Warnings: Implied!KuroFai and cursing...and a few more other implications  
**

**Disclaimer: don't own them; never will**

**Enjoy~!  
**

* * *

"**Dear" letters part one: Kurogane and Mokona**

**

* * *

**Dear Pork Bun,

"Stop going into my damn clothes whenever we are searching for the feather! I don't need a furry white thing moving around in my underwear!"

From Kurogane

* * *

Dear Kuro-puu,

"You're just jealous that you don't have the talent to hide in someone's clothes. It's a good hiding place! And my name is _not _pork bun! It's Mokona!"

Sincerely, the cute Mokona.

* * *

Dear soon-to-be-dinner,

"That's not a freaking talent! I see worms having more talent then you, you dumpling! And why the hell would it be great to hide in someone else's clothing! That's freaking nasty!"

From Kurogane

P.S- I'll call you whatever the hell I want! And how about you freaking call my _actual_ name for once! It's Kurogane! How hard is it to say that!

* * *

Dear Kuro-meany,

"I bet if Fai were in those clothes with you I bet you wouldn't get so angry~!"

Sincerely, Mokona

* * *

Dear pain in the ass,

"YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT! I DON'T WANT THE MAGE ANYWHERE _NEAR_ ME OR MY CLOTHES!"

From a pissed off ninja

* * *

Dear Kuro-crazy,

"Oh~? But that's not what you said to him when Fai was wearing your armor that one night~!"

Sincerely, a very entertained Mokona

* * *

Dear perverted white thing.

"That's _not _what freaking happened! The wizard wore my armor when I wasn't there! He had no right to be in that closet!"

From Kurogane

* * *

Dear Kuro-kuro,

"So what you're saying is that Fai came out of the closet and to you of all people~! Aw, such lovey dovely love~!"

Sincerely, a happy Mokona

* * *

Dear wrong-again pork thing,

"You are one sick thing; do you know that? The mage told me that he wanted to surprise me by being inside that damn thing while wearing my armor. We're _not in love_, got it?"

From a irritated warrior

* * *

Dear Kuro-denial,

"That's not true! I saw you kiss Fai under that cherry blossom when we were in Outo! I even saw tongue!"

Sincerely, a proud Mokona

* * *

Dear useless fur ball,

"Really? How boring is your existence that you see two guys kiss under a damn tree….NOT THAT THE WIZARD AND I WERE!"

From a blushing idiot

* * *

Dear Kuro-silly,

"It's not nice to lie! Mokona can tell if you're lying or telling the truth and _you_ big dog are lying~!"

Sincerely, a pouting Mokona

* * *

Dear hypocrite,

"Right, like I know the time that you and that the Black Mokona were making those weird noises when we all in that witch's shop one time. God I thought my freaking ears were going to explode!"

From a slightly traumatized ninja

* * *

Dear Kuro-loser,

"You're just mad because Fai didn't want to do it with you! You got him so mad it was hilarious~!"

Sincerely, a winning Mokona

* * *

Dear stupid,

For the _last_ time, the mage and I are _not dating_! And the only reason he got pissed off at me was because I didn't let him drink alcohol that night! I'm not dealing with a blonde drunk again!"

From an angry man

* * *

Dear Kuro-amazing,

"Why can't you just admit that Fai loves you and you love Fai. Make the world seem more cute and happier~! Just think; Kuro-puu actually smiling for once~! Yay~! No more scary ninja terrifying Syaoran and Sakura~! Whoo~! Fai will be so happy if he hears that~!"

Sincerely, a day-dreaming Mokona

* * *

Dear (was left blank),

"I'm going to get you for that. You better be damn sure that the wizard is with you because if he's not….._you're dead!_"

From (was left blank)

* * *

Fai looked up from his cooking to hear shouts of help and growling coming from the up-stair room. He chuckled as he boiled the vegetables.

Sakura and Syaoran looked up as well but had looks of worry and horror etched in their faces.

"Um Fai…was it a good idea to have them write letters to each other despite the fact that they were only a room apart?" Syaoran asked wryly.

"Oh I wouldn't worry about them too much." Fai said with an amusing tone. "Besides the three of us got a day without them so 'kill two birds with one stone' right."

Syaoran and Sakura nodded. He did have a point.

"Now then; Syaoran please get the fire extinguisher?"

"Another fire will break out?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so." However Fai's tone was anything but concerning.

Sakura sighed. "I wish I can write to someone."

Fai looked over at her and smirked. "Why Sakura; what a great idea~!"

Sakura and Syaoran (who got the fire-putter-outer) looked at Fai; clearly confused. "What's a good idea?"

The wizard laughed. "You'll see~!"

Then a cycle was created.

* * *

**END OF PART ONE**

* * *

**Don't forget to review, check out my other stories and vote on vamp poll in profile.**

**Until Next Time~! ^_^  
**


	21. Dear Fai and Syaoran

Here you go another one up~! Part two of 'dear' letters but a bit longer then the last.

...and i think i went a bit too far with this one. You'll find out what i'm talking about when you read this. XD

**Warning: at this point i hope nothing scares or freaks you out anymore. XD**

**Disclaimer: don't own them; never will.**

**Enjoy~!  
**

* * *

"**Dear" letters part two: Fai and Syaoran**

[At night]

Syaoran sighed as a pen and paper were sitting right in front of him. He went straight up to his room after dinner; not wanting to see Fai's victorious smirk. He was well aware of the questioning looks he was receiving from the rest of the group but that was the least of his problems.

Now he was sitting on his bed; just looking at the pen and paper with a frown. This was Fai's idea…but he _did_ agree to go along with it. He just couldn't say 'no' to the wizard even he had the guts to say it. Besides, he might as well see what Fai's like when he writes instead of talking once in a while.

So it should be interesting.

Sighing, Syaoran grabbed the pen and started writing…..

* * *

Dear Fai,

"Hi. How are you?"

Signed, Syaoran

* * *

Dear Syaoran,

"Hi Syaoran~! I'm super; thanks for asking~! So how was dinner~? Did you like it~?"

Sincerely, Fai

* * *

Dear Fai,

"I see…

Dinner was great. But I want to ask a question: was it really necessary to spoon feed Kurogane? I think he can handle eating on his own."

Signed, Syaoran

* * *

Dear Syaoran,

"Eh~? But it was fun to baby Kuro-puu; he was _so _tired from all that _hard_ work so I decided to reward him for all the effort he has made."

Sincerely, Fai

* * *

Dear Fai,

"…..I'm not sure I follow when you mean 'hard work'."

Signed, Syaoran

P.S-How did you get those words in italics; we're writing letters.

(*this is the part where you imagine a very confused Chibi!Syaoran in your head*)

* * *

Dear Syaoran,

"Oh don't worry about that my darling wonderful son; you'll know what I mean when you're older~!"

Sincerely, Fai

P.S- I have my ways.

(*Imagine Fai evilly smirking….'nuff said*)

* * *

Dear Fai,

"I won't ask then."

"By the way, I found a bright pink dress on the hallway earlier today. I asked the princess if it was hers and she said that it wasn't hers. Do you know whose dress it belongs to?"

Signed, Syaoran

* * *

Dear my innocent son,

"Silly Syaoran~! That was _my _dress~!"

"I got that from the last world we were in, there was this great store and the dress was at the window when I saw it! I just _had _to have it~! I thought it looked pretty on me~! I guess I forgot about it at some point when I was making dinner. Oops~!"

Sincerely, Fai

* * *

Syaoran had to read the letter twice (or about ten times he wasn't sure) to see if this was some kind of joke. But now that he thought about it, the wizard had done some questionable things since they first met.

Though…this was the _last_ thing he'd expected from Fai.

Carefully taking the pen, he started to write another letter to the mage.

* * *

Dear Fai,

"…..Does Kurogane know about that dress?"

Signed, Syaoran

* * *

Dear Syaoran,

"Oh, Syaoran; of course he doesn't~! I wanted to be a secret for a bit longer before showing that dress to him. I bet he'll be so surprised~!"

Sincerely, Fai

* * *

Dear Fai,

"Are you sure about that?"

"Because I don't want to be in the middle of the argument with you two again."

Signed, Syaoran

* * *

Dear Syaoran,

"Oh don't worry about it one bit, Syaoran~!"

"By the time I show it to him; you darling children will be in bed~!"

"That way, Kurgy will have no choice but to come at me~! It's the perfect plan~!"

Sincerely, Fai

* * *

Dear Fai,

"What exactly are you talking about?"

"But I have a feeling that this isn't about the dress anymore; is it?"

Signed, Syaoran

* * *

Dear Syaoran,

"The dress is just a part of what I'm planning for him. I just need some make-up and a couple bottles of the finest sake a liquor store might have~!"

Sincerely, Fai

* * *

Dear, Fai

"Fai…what exactly are you going to do with Kurogane?"

"And what does sake and make-up have to do with the dress?"

Signed, Syaoran

* * *

Dear Syaoran

"I'm going to show Kuro-puu a _wonderful_ time~!"

"By the time he figures out what's going on; he'll be in my arms~! I can't wait~!"

Sincerely, Fai

* * *

Dear Fai,

"Fai….what are you doing to do with him?"

Signed, Syaoran

* * *

Dear Syaoran,

"Ha ha! What I mean is that I'm going to…..

* * *

***This part of the letter is censored for younger viewers as Fai can be a hypocrite in writing Syaoran things that he didn't need to know despite not telling him the meaning of the innuendo he mentioned just a few letters ago so enjoy Syaoran's reaction to what he read instead***

**

* * *

**Syaoran just stared at the letter; just gaping at it. His hands started to shake as his face began to brighten up like a Christmas light. He had to put the letter down and take a few breaths to calm himself down.

But it didn't help with all the mental images that were flowing into his mind thanks to Fai's _wonderful_ letter.

He needed to make a choice right then and there…..and he knew that he'd be damned if what he was about to do will hunt him in the future.

He picked as blank piece of paper and pen and started writing.

* * *

Dear Fai,

"Could you please come to my room for a bit? There's something that I need to talk to you about."

Signed, Syaoran

* * *

Fai knocked on the door while holding Syaoran's recent letter in his hand. "Hey, Syaoran; are you there."

"Come in." Syaoran called out from inside the room.

The mage opened the door and saw Syaoran sitting on his bed with written letters and a pen. He smiled at the young archeologist. "I read on your letter that you wanted to talk to me about something."

Syaoron nodded but his eyes were covered so it was hard to tell what his expression was at that moment. "Yes, I do. Could you please close the door so we can talk about it here?"

Fai, who for _some reason _was oblivious to the tone that Syaoran was using to voice that request, just smiled and went inside the room and closed the door behind him.

Only muffled voices can be heard from the door.

"_Okay, Syaoran; what was you wanted to talk abou-ACK!"_

_

* * *

_Kurogane looked up from reading his manga to hear sounds of chocking and muffled screaming coming from one of the upstairs room. He sighed. "I knew it would happen someday."

Sakura looked up from looking at a sleeping Mokona in her arms. "About what, Kurogane?"

"I knew the mage will thin the kid's patience sooner or later. I just didn't think it would be through letters." The ninja then went back to reading his manga. "The kid may be a hero but he's still a kid and for some reason the mage seems to forget that."

Sakura thought about it. "Well I may not know him but I don't think Syaoran would be the kind of person to do such a thing-"

"_Everyone_ has their break-points." Kurogane interrupted the princess. "Don't think that the kid's a freaking saint or something."

"_Syaoran! ACK-S-STOP! Y-You're choking me!"_

Sakura was about to stand up when Kurogane cleared his throat; turning her attention to him.

"He won't kill him; believe me." The warrior said with a bored tone. "It takes a hell of a lot more than that for the mage to kill over."

The princess then sat back down with nervousness. "….Um, Kurogane?"

Kurogane looked up. "Yeah?"

"I-I know that this is off-topic and all but…can we try that 'letter' thing?" Sakura was smiling but her eyes were waiting for the rejection.

The ninja sighed. "Sure; why not?" he couldn't say 'no' even if he wanted. Besides, Syaoran is a bigger problem when provoked and he didn't want to deal with that.

Sakura smiled in excitement. "Yay~! I can't wait~!"

The ninja let out a small smile. "Yeah, whatever."

Then Kurogane and Sakura heard soft footstep coming down the stairs. Then they saw Syaoran at the bottom; panting heavily with glossed eyes.

Kurogane raised an eyebrow. "Feeling better?"

Syaoran didn't speak but gave the ninja a nod.

"Good. And for the record I know about what the mage was going to do, so save yourself the trouble of telling me." Kurogane noted.

Sakura then looked behind Syaoran with worry. "Um Syaoran…where's Fai?"

It took all of Syaoran's willpower to not growl. "He…..He's sleeping right now."

Kurogane knew what he meant. Sakura didn't.

"I'll get him from the room." Kurogane said as he stood up and went up the stairs.

Sakura then went over at Syaoran as she placed a hand on his forehead. "Are you okay?"

Syaoran nodded. "Yeah."

The princess smiled. "That's good; so what were the two of you wrote about to each other?"

The young man didn't say anything for a couple of moments before smiling at her. "Oh you know; this and that. Nothing important to repeat."

He already had one problem; he didn't want to deal with another.

Hopefully he could just sleep this off and pretend that the incident _never _happened.

Now if only the marks on Fai's neck would disappear too.

* * *

**END OR PART 2**

**

* * *

**...Do i have to apologize to some people about this or just pretend that _what i wrote_ never happened? I'm so confused.

**Don't forget to review, check out my other stories and vote on the vamp poll in my profile.**

**Until Next Time~! ^_^  
**


	22. Dear Sakura and Kurogane

Okay, next part up. Sorry for the lack of updates on ABS. Between Classes, live journal posting and lack of inspiration i haven't got the side story (# 1 anyway) done yet but I'll try. ^_^

_FF Related_: My first one-shot '**A birthday to remember**' a Kuroshitsuji SebCiel fanfic has finally reached 1k hits. Not that I blame it, i mean the fandom has expanded since that post...plus the confusing second season. (what the hell was that?)...so yeah. XD

And that i have the first chapter of ABS re-written and posted; have a look if you have the chance.

_Non-FF stuff_: My family went to a house-warming party that our new-neighbor was hosting. My dad told me something that was funny in some ways. So my dad was having a conversation with some of the neighbors. One of them said to them: 'Oh, I've been married for two years.' and looked at my dad for a reaction. confused, my dad was like 'oh that's nice'. but the thing was that the man was sitting to another man _very closely_. It wasn't until my dad spotted that they were sharing a plate that it became clear to him. What a night. XD

This part is rated high 'T' for a reason. You have to find out why. X3

**Warnings:...i would tell you but then I'd spoil the whole thing**

**Disclaimer: don't own them; never will**

**Enjoy~!  
**

* * *

'**Dear' letters part three: Sakura and Kurogane**

**

* * *

**[At night]

Sakura was walking down the hallway towards her bedroom. After the fiasco between him and Syaoran, Sakura was worried for the two; Syaoran because it was something she never thought in a million years that he would do and Fai because apparently being choked caused some mental problems. So Fai ended up going to a nearby hospital to see if his vocal cords were somewhat damaged while being choked to death.

Kurogane silently cursed when the doctor told them that the mage's vocal cords were fine.

However, as they got back, Fai wouldn't get anywhere near Syaoran and vice-versa for the young archeologist. Syaoran felt bad for what he did and Fai didn't want to provoke the boy again. So with soft persuasion (Sakura and Mokona) and verbal/physical beatdown (Kurogane), the two finally got along again and things were close to normal.

Sakura hummed a soft tune as she opened the door to her room and closed it behind her. Giggling, she ran to a desk and grabbed a small pad and pen. She then ran to her bed and jumped on it before sitting cross-legged and sighed happily on how soft the covers were.

"Now it's my turn!" Sakura declared to no one in particular. "I just can't wait to see what Kurogane will write to me~! Who knows what kind of conversation we will put on paper~!" Determined and excited, she grabbed the pad and pen then started writing.

* * *

Dear Kurogane,

"Good evening~! How are you~?"

Sincerely, Sakura

* * *

Dear Princess,

"I'm fine; I guess. Since the mage and the kid got along again; things seem….a lot calmer."

From, Kurogane

* * *

Dear Kurogane,

"You don't have to call me princess; Sakura's fine. Though I wish Syaoran would call me that more often. He doesn't have to treat me like I'm royalty."

Sincerely, Sakura

* * *

Dear, _Sakura_

"Well you are a princess and the kid is way too damn polite for his own good. He needs to loosen up when we're not looking for the feathers. I bet he'll have a heart attack before he even turns sixteen!"

From, Kurogane

* * *

Dear Kurogane,

"Don't think such things, Kurogane. Syaoran's a nice person and worries about everyone."

Sincerely, Sakura

* * *

Dear Sakura,

"But he doesn't worry about himself; that's the freaking problem! The pork bun was giving me problems because they're worried about him. The mage even nagged about the kid around me! Every night the same (_the word was scratched out_) thing! I couldn't get any sleep because of him!"

From, Kurogane

* * *

Dear Kurogane,

"I'm sure that Fai and Mokona are just as worried about him like we are. Speaking of, why wasn't Fai in his bedroom last night? I want to check up on him to see if he was alright but he wasn't there. Do you where he was?"

Sincerely, Sakura

* * *

Dear Sakura,

"….The moron was in my room last night. Why?"

From, Kurogane

* * *

Dear Kurogane,

"Oh! So that's why! You and Fai are such great friends. I bet you were worried about him, weren't you?"

Sincerely, Sakura

* * *

Dear Sakura,

"THAT'S NOT TRUE! The mage is an annoying person who just won't shut up until I agreed to sleep with him-"

* * *

Kurogane stopped writing as those words were placed on the paper. He sighed as his face started to brighten up. Calmly but quietly; he erased the last few words and started re-writing.

* * *

Dear Sakura,

"That's not true! The mage is an annoying person who just won't shut up until I share my bed with him okay!"

From, Kurogane

* * *

Dear Kurogane,

"Oh, well I think Fai's a nice person and just wanted to be with someone who cared for him the most. But I have one question; what were those noises that I heard last night when I went by your room if Fai was there?"

Sincerely, Sakura

* * *

Dear Sakura,

"I never thought I would use these words to you of all people but 'None of your business'.

From, Kurogane

* * *

Dear Kurogane,

"Oh well okay then. But when I ask Mokona about it, she said that you two were expressing your affections towards each other. That there's something special between you two."

Sincerely, Sakura

* * *

Kurogane couldn't speak when he saw the letter. He couldn't even think properly. He didn't think what was between he and Fai _was_ anything special.

But he knew one thing.

He was going to kill Mokona after all of this.

* * *

Dear Sakura,

"…Did that pork bun said anything else? Because what that furball told you is ridiculous and just freaking impossible. There's no way!"

From, Kurogane

* * *

Dear Kurogane,

"No; Mokona didn't say anything after that. But I remember something that my dad told me. It was hazy but I remember: 'There's nothing that is impossible; you would only think that it is.' I think you want Fai to be your special person but you're scared that he might turn you down."

Sincerely, Sakura

* * *

Dear Sakura,

"When did you become like a freaking therapist? Anyway I'm not _scared_. I'm just not going to make myself look stupid if the mage were to reject me…..not that I'm worried about it."

From, Kurogane

* * *

Dear Kurogane,

"You know if you try to express yourself to Fai then maybe you'll feel better just letting it out. Don't be saddened by thoughts of rejection; just tell him."

Sincerely, Sakura

* * *

Kurogane looked at the letter and thought for a minute. What the princess did say was true…even though she doesn't remember loving someone and wanting to tell that person. Nonetheless; he just didn't want to sit back and pretend that what the two had right now was all they're going to get.

Growling, Kurogane got off the bed and walked out of his room. Clenching his hands, Kurogane stomped towards Fai's bedroom. Once there, he knocked on the door very loudly. He waited impatiently until the wizard opened the door.

"Ah! Hello there Kuro-puu~! What's up~?" Fai missed the look that Kurogane was apparently giving him. He tilted his head in confusion when Kurogane didn't respond. "Kuro-sama; what's wrong-"

"The marks; they're gone right?" Kurogane asked instead.

Laughing softly, Fai lightly touched his neck which still had bandages but only one layer of it. "Almost, but I heard from the doctor that they won't scar. Who knew Syaoran had some hidden strength~?"

Kurogane just nodded. "Right. Look; there's something I want to tell you." He knew that Fai saw his face starting to blush.

Fai, or course, didn't miss that look and started to tease him about it. "Oh~? I wonder what it could b—ah~!" Then he was suddenly dragged by the collar into his own room by Kurogane.

The door closed behind them.

* * *

[A couple minutes later]

Syaoran and Mokona were walking (more like Syaoran doing the walking and Mokona just being carried) down the hallway to check on Sakura who had a letter conversation with Kurogane just a while before.

"Syaoran; what are you thinking right now~?" Mokona randomly asked.

"Nothing really. I was thinking about what Fai wanted to do to Kurogane a while back."

"Before you choked him?"

"…before I choked him; yes."

Mokona pondered about it for a minute. "Why did you do that?"

Syaoran sighed. "I just….kind of lost control. When I came to…the damage was done. I just didn't know what scared me more: Fai screaming or the fact that I actually almost killed a mage."

Mokona was about to tease Syaoran about it when her ears perked up. "Hey, Syaoran; did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Syaoran leaned his head to his left and heard a soft moan that was coming from Fai's bedroom not too far from them. "Is that what I heard?"

Now curious; the pair walked up towards the door of Fai's bedroom and leaned their ears on the frame.

So far not a sound, until…

"_Ah! Oh god—ah! K-Kuro! More! Oh god! Oh Kuro~!"_

Syaoran was about to take his ear off the door but another voice peak his cursed curiosity further.

"_Oh fuck! So tight and hot! Nng—Fai!"_

"_Oh yes! More! Aah~! Kuro; please…I'm—I'm-!" _

"_T-together then! Nng! Let's go—ah—together!"_

Syaoran didn't want to hear more as Fai's cries got louder and louder. The grunting noises that Kurogane was making weren't helping either; he just didn't know how much more he can take. Mokona on the other hand was having a blast.

"Hyuu~! Kuro-puu is showing his love to Fai~! So cute~!"

Syaoran hardly found this _cute_ in any way possible.

Then the worst of it happened.

"_Kuro! I'm coming—I'm coming! Ku-KUROGANE!"_

At the same time…

"_Mng-ah god! F-FAI!"_

Their cries of passion were loud enough to fill the rooms of the house.

"Wahh~! That was great! Wait till I tell Yuuko about this~!" Mokona cried out happily suddenly.

As soon as Syaoran heard them calming down; he thought that now was the perfect moment to high-tail out of there. As he (along with a whining Mokona) walked quickly to Sakura's bedroom like they were supposed to be doing in the first place.

* * *

Once they got there, Syaoran closed the door behind him causing Sakura to look up from the letters that Kurogane sent her.

She looked up and smiled. However, the smile faded into a frown as she saw Syaoran's face. "Oh dear Syaoran; what's wrong?"

Syaoran didn't respond.

Mokona giggled. "Syaoran and I heard the sweet sounds of love~!"

At those words, Sakura lit up. "Oh, so Kurogane _did _confess his love for Fai~! I'm so happy for them~!" She clasped her hands happily.

Syaoran was really confused. "So…_that_ was your doing?"

"Yep~!" Sakura nodded. "I was writing to Kurogane and I told him to tell Fai how he really feels. I guess he took my advise well~!"

Mokona hopped out of Syaoran's arms and landed on the bed. "You told Kurgy to confess his love to Fai~? That's amazing~!"

Sakura and Mokona shared a laugh while high-fiving each other. They failed to notice that Syaoran was holding his head in his hands.

He just wanted the noises he just heard to go away. He figured that it was karma for choking Fai.

"So does Sakura want to know what happened before we came here~?"

Oh no.

"Sure, I would love to hear it~!"

No way. Never again.

"Mokona….please don't." Syaoran pleaded. "I'm sure the princess wants to hear about something else….like….cats!" He wished he can come up with things like Fai can.

Syaoran's diversion seemed to have worked as Sakura and Mokona launched into a topic of cats and how small and cute they were.

The young man sighed. That's one problem down.

And one to go.

Though he knew he wasn't going to like it one bit.

* * *

[Next morning]

"Kurogane?"

"Yeah; what is it kid?"

"I heard everything the princess has told me about the conversation about you and Fai."

"…."

"And I heard you two…..physically enjoying your new-found relationship last night as well."

"….."

"….Kurogane?"

"Where's the pork bun?"

"Mokona is sleeping on the couch. Why?"

"It looks like I going to have a target for today's training and you're joining me; got it?"

"…..Yes sir."

Thus how the morning ended with an injured Mokona, a satisfied Kurogane and a near-suicidal Syaoran questioning how the hell he ended up in the situation in the first place.

* * *

**END OF PART THREE**

**

* * *

**AN: I SUCK! *Bangs head onto desk repeatedly*

Syaoran: um...since Despair-san is unable to talk I'll take her place. *clears throat* **Don't forget to review, check out her other stories, and vote on the vamp poll in her profile.**

AN: Gah! WHY DID I DO THAT! *continues to hit her head onto her desk*

Syaoran: no, don't do that Despair-san! You'll hurt yourself!

AN: *glares at Syaoran* THE HELL I AM!

Syaoran: *sweatdrops*


	23. Upper hand doesn't mean WIN nor FAIL

Sorry for the delay for this fic! Got alot of things to do lately! (A.K.A-Real life)

BTW- **Food for Thought**: not the best one-shot i have written but hell i got it out of my chest before my mind exploded. XD so I'm just glad. ^_^

**Warnings: Language and randomness**

**Disclaimer:Don't own them; Never will**

**Enjoy~!  
**

* * *

**Just when you think you got the upper hand; something else comes along**

**

* * *

**Syaoran looked between his make-shift parents with worry. Kurogane was on one end; smiling like a murderer while on the other side Fai was frowning in nervousness. It was like their role in their facial expressions was reversed. In Syaoran's opinion; it was kind of scary to watch.

"Um guys…..what exactly is going on here?" Syaoran's worry only grew as Kurogane's dark smile widened.

"I found something _very interesting_ about the mage." Kurogane stated with eyes that was filled with potential victory.

Fai chuckled with a poor attempt of a smile. "Now now Kuro-pu I don't think Syaoran would be interested in what we were….discussing about." He was already feeling a bit uncomfortable about the whole situation and he just wanted to start dinner already.

Kurogane deeply chuckled. "Oh I think the kid would like to know." Then he looked at Syaoran who accidentally jumped at the gaze. "Hey kid; I heard that the manjuu is showing those dirty books to the princess again."

Syaoran's look of worry turned to a look of annoyance as he frowned. "Damn it, Mokona." He then blinked as he covered his mouth; realizing that he had said that out loud. He looked back to the pair to see their reactions.

Fai was shocked at the kid. "Syaoran!"

Kurogane on the other hand was smirking at him. "That's more like it." He looked at Fai with a victorious grin. "See; even the kid can do it."

"…." Syaoran was a bit confused on what Kurogane had just said. "Um….Kurogane what exactly are you talking about?"

The ninja jabbed his thumb in the direction of the mage. "This moron here can't curse for the life of him." He then sighed. "No matter how things can get _crappy_ he will not swear."

Syaoran blinked. "Oh….is that what this is all about?"

Fai sighed in relief. "_Thank you_." He then looked at Kurogane with a slightly annoyed expression. "See Kuro-sama, even Syaoran thinks that me swearing is not a big deal."

Kurogane shook his head. "You just don't freaking get it." He then got up and walked towards the wizard. He then stood in front of him…lifted his foot up…

And slammed it down on Fai's foot with all of his might.

"_YEOW!_" Fai screamed out as he pushed Kurogane away to tend to his now injured foot. "Kuro! What was that for!"

Kurogane shrugged as he looked back at Syaoran. "See what I mean? Even in pain, the idiot wouldn't swear. He's like older then I am...i think and he still wouldn't swear!"

"….I failed to see what age would have to do with Fai swearing." Syaoran stated. He looked at Fai who was muttering softly about his crushed foot.

"Kid; how old are you?" Kurogane asked a bit rudely.

"I'm…." Syaoran had to think for a bit about that question. "If I'm correct; I should fifteen. Why do you ask?"

"And how old were you when you started swearing?"

"…." Syaoran had to look away with a blush; feeling a bit ashamed. "Well I didn't swear exactly but I heard from my dad once when I was little." He cleared his throat. "He…he crushed his hand on some equipment one night while I was up getting a drink of water and…"

Fai shook his head in pity. "Poor Syaoran."

"Okay then." Kurogane said with an unsure frown as he looked at Fai. "See, the kid can swear; why can't you?"

"Kuro-sama; I think this is getting pointless. I absolutely don't see how this discussion is any relevant to Syaoran's glimpse of adulthood as a child." Fai softly smiled as he stood up…or tried to. "Um Syaoran; could you help me a bit; my foot's still in a bit of pain here."

"Okay." Syaoran went towards the mage and helped him up by grabbing Fai's left arm and hoisting it over his shoulders. "Better?"

Fai nodded. "Better." He then chuckled as he looked at Kurogane's distasteful look. "Oh come now; don't you think it was a _little childish_ that you would want to see me swear for once." He (along with Syaoran) started walking pass him. "I don't swear because I was told not to and why should I? It's a vulgar, rude, nasty, and it shows more about yourself to people then you would like; in a bad way of course."

"….." Syaoran looked down as he blushes in embarrassment.

Fai caught the look that Syaoran was expressing and coughed a bit. "N-not that you are included in that. You're a kind young man with a lot of potential so don't worry about; okay~?"

Syaoran smiled; feeling a bit better. "Thank You."

Kurogane scoffed as the two made their way to the kitchen. He looked over at them to see the two having a conversation of their own. He then sat back down and picked up a book and started reading. As he turned a page he could vaguely hear them as the kitchen echoes their voices.

"_Let's see now; I think I'll make_ _some of my special strawberry cake!"_

"_Okay then."_

The sound of a cabinet was heard as a moment of silence followed.

"…_..eh?"_

"_Fai; what's wrong?"_

"_we're…..we're out of sugar."_

"_Oh that's right! Mokona accidently used al that sugar to make a winter wonderland because of boredom. I nearly forgot about it; that's why I came to see you."_

Another moment of silence.

"…_Fai?"_

"…_.."_

"_Fai; are you okay?"_

An intake of breath and…..

"_WHAT THE—"_

_

* * *

_The group learned a few things that day:

Syaoran learned that he will always be in horrid situations no matter how kind he is.

Sakura learned a few new words as she came into the picture.

Mokona learned not to waste any materials especially food no matter how bored she is.

Fai learned that he should _really_ take his own words seriously as everyone else did.

And Kurogane…..

Well he didn't learn anything; he was just happy that he witnessed such a feat.

After all….who knew that Fai can swear better then he could?

* * *

**END**

**

* * *

**Last words for the story:

A/N: You are a hypocrite. *glares at Fai*

Fai: *tries to whistle while looking away from the author*

* * *

**Don't forget to review, check out my other stories and vote vamp poll in my profile.**

**Until Next Time~! ^_^  
**


	24. Yuui's diary

I feel like I'm torturing this poor character with whatever idea i come up with. XD He doesn't deserve it but then again it's the same deal with Kurogane but hell i have fun doing it so...see how conflicted I am? XD

**Warnings: Mentioning of adult things that younger readers may or may not get and possible language**

**Disclaimer: Don't own them; never will**

**Enjoy~! ^_^  
**

* * *

**Yuui's Diary**

**

* * *

**[Day one]

Dear Diary,

I knew that taking a job at the Horitsuba academy would be hard but I never thought it would be so stressful. Take for example, today: my older brother Fai ran into my classroom laughing like a manic as he slammed the door loudly as humanly possible.

Of course as the younger, _more mature_ twin I wanted to get down to the issue.

* * *

"_Brother, you know as well as I do that you can't run in hallways. It's dangerous." Yuui crossed his arms at his giggling twin._

"_Aw Yuui, you're no fun~!" __Regardless Fai was hiding something behind his back. "I was just around and wanted to see you~!"_

_Yuui, who knew Fai in and out, wasn't buying it. "Nice try brother. Now why don't you tell me the _real reason _why you're in and in such a hurry?"_

_Fai grinned as he displayed what he hid behind his back. "Tada~!"_

_The cooking teacher got one look of the item and blushed. "Is….is that a pair of Kurogane-sensei's boxers?"_

"_Uh huh~!" Fai nodded. "I took them when he wasn't looking; he got wet from the sprinklers outside when he was teaching and was changing in the locker room~!" He then hyuu-ed in awe. "Who knew Kuro-rin-sensei a polka-dotted kind of man~!"_

_Yuui didn't know what was worse; Fai stealing the gym teacher's undergarments or the possibility that his brother got a good look of Kurogane-sensei before stealing them._

_

* * *

_[Day two]

Dear Diary,

I didn't think it would be possible. I think that even I witnessed it and writing it down as I speak, _I_ still don't believe it. But of course Horitsuba academy still holds many surprises.

* * *

_Yuui was grading a test on the knowledge of cookware when there was a knock on the door. He looked up with a smile. "Come in~!" He then looked at the papers again while continuing grading papers. He heard the door open._

"_Hey, Yuui-sensei."_

_The cooking teacher smirked as he heard one of his familiar students. "Ah, Watanuki! How are….you….today…." He looked up at Watanuki only to find out…..that there's something…different about him._

_Something….odd._

_Yuui slowly stood up from his desk; leaving the papers aside as he walked up to Watanuki. "Um….Watanuki?"_

_Watanuki shifted his eyes. "Yes sir?"_

"_Um….well I don't know how to say this but…..well….did you do something different today? Yuui examined Watanuki as if he were a specimen._

"_I….I um…did something different alright. Do you like it?" Watanuki asked; now feeling very embarrassed. _

"_Well…it's…interesting to say the least. But why I ask why did you do it?" _

"_Well I thought it would look nice for a change." Watanuki said as he touched it with his fingers. "And I kinda lost a bet with Himawari."_

"…_..I see." Yuui just couldn't believe what he was seeing._

_Watanuki, his prized student, dyed his hair and not just any color…it was neon pink. Yuui patted the boy's hair to see if it really was the poor student's hair colored hair and not a wig. "Well…this is quite a change. Is it permanent?"_

_The blue-eyed teen fiddled with his fingers. "I hope not."_

"_Oh dear." Then there was another knock on the door. Yuui sighed. "Yes, come in."As the door opened, Yuui could only gaped at the scene before him. "D-Doumeki?"_

"…_."_

"_Your hair…it's neon green!"_

"…_.yeah."_

_Yuui sighed. "Was it the bet with Himawari?"_

"…_.." A nod from the stoic teen._

_Figures._

_

* * *

_[Day three]

Dear Diary,

I had the most uncomfortable talk with one of my students today. I don't know _how_ it happened but it did end with the two of us having red on our faces.

I'm just glad it wasn't brother who asked me that. But I can't say he wasn't _involved_ in it.

I found out about it later.

* * *

"_Um, Yuui-sensei, can I ask you a question?"_

_Yuui took out a full baked pie out of an oven one early afternoon during lunch hour. As he went to one of the tables where another of his students was seating at, he smiled. "What is it Sakura?"_

"_Um….." Sakura fidgeted a little as she tried to get the words out of her mouth. "Uh…I have a question." She then looked at Yuui with a bit more confidence. "I want to know…..are you a virgin?"_

CLANK

_Yuui's pie fell on the counter very loudly as his mind shut down for a second. "Uh…excuse me?"_

_Sakura was a bit shocked at her teacher's reactions. "Um I mean have you ever…done…that before…?"_

_Oh _now_ it made sense._

_Taking off the oven gloves and placing them next to the pie, Yuui cleared his throat he sat across from the young girl. "What brought that question?"_

"_Well I heard from some students talking about you; how great you are and how you help people in their time of need but one person shouted out 'I bet he's a virgin!' and everything got quiet."_

…

"…_Really? Did you see who that person was?"_

_Sakura shook her head. "I didn't see anyone sensei." She then blushed brightly. "I'm really sorry for pushing this unto you but I was very curious and I want to know!" Then she covered her mouth as those practically flew out of her mouth. "Oh….I'm sorry."_

_Yuui chuckled and waved it off. "No, it's fine. Curiosity does do that to people." He then placed a finger on his chin in thought. "Well I guess you can say I am. I never….._lost _it or at the very least _done_ anything to place me in the other category."_

"_Oh….but what do you have to do to lose it?" Sakura innocently asked._

_Yuui could only stare at her as he thought she was joking; she wasn't. He mentally groaned. Oh god help Kurogane-sensei when he teaches health to this poor girl. He then sighed. "I think that's something asked to a better person say; your brother." God knows that what happened to him. Never again would he see certain fruits the same way in his lifetime. "But as far as being a virgin is concerned just be proud of one; because there are many worse things to be as a person and you'll not like yourself if you go down that path."_

_Sakura nodded in understanding. "Oh, okay then. I guess I still have a lot to learn. Thank you Yuui-sensei."_

_Yuui sighed in relief. "No problem." Then he stood up and got a knife and started cutting the pie._

"_But I have one other question."_

"_Yes?"_

"_If Fai-sensei carried a huge box with the word 'Condoms', what does it mean?"_

_Yuui's hand underwent super strength as the knife was broken into two pieces._

_

* * *

_[Day four]

Dear Diary,

Today was actually pretty calm compared to what had happened earlier this week. However that peace of mind was gutted as something else came along.

I think by that time I wanted nothing more than to jump out of a window and pray that the memory burned in my head would be erased. Which i did.

Result: No such luck.

* * *

"_Hey Yuui!"_

_Yuui was walking down the hallway after school with his things when he spotted Yuuko; the chairman waving at him. He waved back as he ran up to her. "Yuuko-sensei. Good afternoon!" He then frowned as Yuuko wasn't smiling. "Is there something wrong?"_

_Yuuko blinked before smiling back. "Oh I'm sorry; was I frowning?" She then rubbed her head. "I just going through my paperwork today and someone called me to check something out. So I did and well I didn't know whether to be happy or freaked out."_

_Yuui considered her words. "Okay. Just one question: did you take a picture of whatever you saw?"_

_So sooner did those words left the cooking teacher's lips that Yuuko whipped out her one-of-a-kind camera. "Of course~!"_

"_Then I guess it's not _too_ bad but bad enough for you to actually frown." Yuui then thought of his next plan of action. "How about you show me where it is and I try to help whatever I can."_

"_Okay~!" Then Yuuko took Yuui's arm and the two started walking down to the art section of the school. There they ended up in one of the art rooms where the sculpting class was held._

_Yuui pointed at the door. "So it's in here."_

_Yuuko nodded. "Yup and I made sure to cover it up in case others accidently find their way here."_

"_Okay, here I go." As Yuui walked into the room, he looked around. There wasn't anything _wrong _with the room, or at least nothing that he didn't see. However his eyes wondered to one of the tables and saw that there was something on top of it….something big._

_As Yuuko said, it was covered so that…whatever it is wouldn't be seen by other people. "But what would be so bad that it had to be covered up?" Then he went over to the covered object and pulled off the covers._

_In an instant, he already regretted it. "….what the….?"_

_It was a sculpture of his brother and Kurogane….naked…and in a comprising position….a _very_ comprising position. Though the face expressions they had did little to help. _

_He turned back to Yuuko only to see a bright flash before seeing the chairman smirking victoriously. _

_Yuuko giggled. "I knew it~! I knew you'll react that way~!" She then put her camera away as she walked up towards him. "I got one of the yaoi fangirl who's a wonderful artist sculpt this _beautiful _piece of work and cover it up just to see what you'll say~! I think that's a job well done~!"_

"…_Where's the nearest window,Yuuko-sensei?"_

"_Um, just down the hallway to the left; why?"_

_It took Yuuko and a huge group of after-school students to prevent Yuui from running towards said window and randomly jumping over it._

_

* * *

_[Day five]

Dear Diary,

It was the festival once again and I was in charge of making treats and refreshments for the hard working students. However I went out for a few minutes just to get more ingredients that I ran out of. When I came back though…..

…let's just say that my respect for the Mokonas just went down a couple notches.

* * *

_As Yuui was walking down the hallway with a bag of sugar and a few cans of chocolate on his arms, he looked ahead and saw that there was a small group of people just surrounding his classroom. He didn't hear what they said but he can tell from their vague faces that something happened._

_He was about to turn around when someone called out to him. _

"_Yuui-sensei!"_

_Yuui glanced and saw Syaoran running up to him. "Oh, Syaoran. What's wrong?" When Syaoran caught up to him but didn't say anything to him….it was a bit unnerving. "Maybe I should ask; um why is there a group in the front of my classroom?"_

_Syaoran shifted his eyes. "Well something happened….but I don't know what. And I can't find the Mokonas anywhere!"_

"_What do you mean by that Syaoran?"_

"_Well they hopped out of the classroom and we haven't seen them after a while so I volunteered to search for them but on my way…this happened." Syaoran pointed to the group which was now slowly dispersing. _

_Yuui nodded. "Well then, I think I might have a good idea on where they are but I can't say I know exactly."Then with Syaoran following, he walked to his classroom and opened the door. Almost instantly, Yuui dropped his supplies as he gaped at the room before him. "W-what happened in there!"_

_In the room before him, there was or seem to be a huge explosion that might have occurred while he was gone. There were scorch marks that spread the whole room, blotches of the cookies that would never be and…the sink was running water. He was not sure how but that was the least of his worries. "I….I'm speechless."_

_Syaoran nodded; not finding the words to express either._

_Then they heard snoring coming near the side of the room; furthest from the oven. As they went into the room (which the floor also had scorch burns), they saw the Mokonas sound asleep. They were covered in cookie dough and chocolate chips._

_Syaoran looked up at Yuui. He nervously smiled up to him. "…I guess they couldn't wait and wanted to help…?"_

"…_."_

"_Yuui-sensei?"_

"…_..I um….I think I need to speak to Kurogane-sensei."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because if I call Yuuko-sensei then I might be tempted to do something that I'll regret."_

"_Like the time you almost jumped out of the window?"_

"…_something like that."_

_

* * *

_[Continued from Day 5]

So after my moment of pure insanity, I managed to calm down. However thanks to the damages that then Mokonas made; I'll have to teach somewhere else while the room needed to be repaired. However, the incident reached brother's ears as he told me that he and I can teach our classes in his room.

I politely declined; thinking it might do harm than good.

Thus ending my day in horror.

By the way, this is the 12th week of me working there in Horitsuba Academy. And just to be clear; if I see one more artwork involving brother and/or Kurogane-sensei in any vulgar shape or form; I _will_ explode.

With regards, Yuui Fluorite

* * *

**END**

**

* * *

**

Behind the scenes comments:

Yuui: *looks at the story* why do you hate me so?

A/N: *shocked and offended* I-I don't _hate_ you! In fact you're one of the more favorable characters in my books! More so then others!

Yuui: *gets irritated* then why-

A/N: *snaps* It's called _Twisted Tales _of Tsubasa for a damn reason! It's not called _Yuui get his own f-ing way tales_ of Tsubasa, okay? You don't like it; take that _f-ing _complaint and shove it, got it! I don't care! Do you hear me? I _don't give a an *F*_!

Yuui:... *speechless*

Kurogane: _Someone's_ on her cycle. *frowns*

* * *

So yeah, Kurogane was not _in_ this one but he sure was hell mentioned. XD

**Don't forget to review, check out my other stories, and vote on vamp poll in my profile.**

**Until Next Time~! ^_^  
**


	25. Signs and humor

Sorry for a lack of update for this story: October was very stressful in more ways then one. I hope this will satisfy you all who are waiting for another crack-ish bit. ^_^

**Warning: Goes to AU,Horitsuba, Canon**, **XXXHolic very quickly and language**

**Disclaimer: Don't own them; never will**

**Enjoy~!  
**

* * *

**Things you're never meant to see**

**

* * *

**Kurogane and Fai looked at the sign before them as they landed in a winter-like world.

_Thin Ice: Go ahead, try it anyway. You don't weight that much…it won't break._

The two looked at each other.

"You first."

* * *

Watanuki could only stare at the sign before during one of Yuuko's errands. Left, up, down, corner right, slant down if take the straight lane and an individual way that points right. Plus what it said below didn't help matters.

_Good Luck.  
_

"Damn it."

* * *

Sakura could only look at the huge poster on the side of the store when she went out shopping that morning.

_0 percent off selected items today only._

"…..so that means….it's like regular price?"

* * *

Doumeki walked on a trail next to a forest on his day off when he came across a yellow metal sign that was hit by a car and an assumingly flown tree trunk.

_Be prepared for the unexpected._

He could only imagine what the hell happened to have such a sign exist.

* * *

Kobato was walking down a small town with Ioryogi in her arms; when they came across a park; there was something that stopped them in their tracks.

_No Pets Allowed_

It sounded legitimate for a sign if not for what was said below it.

_All Dogs Must Be On a Leash_

Kobato for the most part was confused. Luckily for her, Ioryogi was able to voice it….out-loud.

"What the hell does that even mean! Why can't they make up their own freaking minds!"

* * *

Syaoran was crossing the street late one night in a town that he wasn't aware of. He wanted to see if there was anything he recognized. Then he looked up and saw a picture of a man crawling towards a bottle along with a warning on it.

_Drunken People crossing_

The boy gave a soft chuckle. "That's just silly. Who would actually be alcohol intolerant to—" His words dies in his throat as he saw something crawling on the road with a bottle of Sake in hand.

His eyes widened as he got a good look at the person.

"F-Fai!"

* * *

Kurogane's eyebrow twitched. He just couldn't even describe the anger he was feeling. There it was…

_No Ninjas._

"Oh come on! I just got here!"

* * *

Yuui was traveling to his older twin's vacation house when something caught his eye.

_No Signs Allowed_

"…..Wouldn't that sign count as well?"

Confusion realized.

* * *

The Mokonas were giggling near a church as people stopped and looked at what they were laughing about.

_Don't make me come down there. –God_

The white Mokona laughed harder at that. "Ooh~! We're _so _scared~!"

* * *

Fujimoto was just flabbergasted as he came across a sign while taking a walk in the morning.

_No Swimming in this Area_

Of course it shouldn't be a big issue on the first look…unless said area was a grass plain.

The young adult raised an eyebrow to the sign before taking a second look on the area behind it.

"Now who the hell swims on _grass_?"

* * *

Himawari was walking across a beach during her summer break when she found something plastered to one of the palm trees.

_Watch out for Falling Coconuts. _

Needless to say, it made her giggle. "That's just ridiculous; what are the chances of that hap—"

_BOINK_

She was in the hospital shortly after for a possible concussion. It was a very big coconut.

* * *

Yuuko and Clow were going from world to world to get random items. When they landed in one particular world; something was there that stopped them in their tracks.

_Warning to Tourists: Do not laugh at natives_

The two were plain confused at why a something like that would be there. Then they went into the place.

Let's just say only one of them followed the warning.

* * *

Kurogane and Syaoran were looking for a restroom one day. They immediately found one but the ninja stopped the boy from entering.

"What's wrong Kurogane?" Syaoran asked; feeling a bit confused.

The warrior didn't answer but pointed to the sign instead.

Syaoran; still not getting it, looked up at the sign. His face complexion paled a few color shades.

The sign _did_ say _MEN_ but it was the picture that made them stare in wonderment. Above was a person they _assumed _was a guy but…..said guy was wearing a dress.

Kurogane and Syaoran looked at each other.

"Oi mage! I found the perfect place for your cross-dressing ass!"

* * *

Watanuki and Yuui were walking down a semi-deserted path; as they were separated from the rest of the school group. After a few minutes they heard the sound of an airplane just close by.

Their eyes trailed to a sign that was a bit damaged.

Yuui narrowed his eyes as he tried to make out what the sign said.

_Beware of Low Aircraft_

Watanuki chuckled as Yuui read the sign. "That's just dumb! I mean who would fly their aircraft so lo-HOLY CRAP IT'S COMING RIGHT FOR US!"

* * *

Fai was separated from the rest of the traveling group as he landed in the next world. "Hyuu~! I wonder what world I came across this time~!" He then looked around to see if there were any people in sight. Instead, he found a billboard that was as big as the eye can see.

_Be Polite._

"Yes, that's right." Fai agreed. "You should always be polite no matter wh—" He then stopped as there was more below it. He then smirked in amusement as the statement.

_Go F*** Yourself!_

"Hmm. Looks like Kuro-puu came here first."

* * *

Syaoran blushed as he looked up at the billboard before him one day.

_Still a virgin? Then Call this number…_

"I think the dimensional witch is making fun of me."

* * *

Doumeki could only stare at the billboard before him as he was pumping gas for his car.

_Need A New Screw? ACE Hardware._

Despite the obvious mistake; he knew what his mind implied.

And they thought Watanuki is the only boy whose face would turn bright red at the thought.

* * *

_If you don't teach your kids about sex, who will?_

Kurogane can only groan at the thought of anyone (Cough_Yuuko_cough_Fai_cough) who would taint the kids' already shocked minds.

* * *

_WARNING:_

_If the help desk thinks your question is stupid; We will set you on fire._

Ioryogi darkly smirked at the sign. Maybe he should set up a help desk.

* * *

_**END**_

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Hope you all Liked it~!

**Don't forget to review, check out my other stories, and vote on vamp poll in my profile**

**Until next time~! ^_^  
**


	26. Videos you wish exist

Okay; another one up~!

I'm proud to announce that T.T.O.T:M.D has reached it's 100th review mark~! WHOO~! X3 (It's 101 though XD)

This one is for **Ocean Ann Midnight **as that user was the 100th reviewer~! Keep those reviews coming~! ^_^

**Warnings: Language, random moments, AU and Horitsuba**

**Disclaimer: Don't own them; never will**

**Enjoy~!  
**

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**Videos part one**

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**[Dated: XX of XXXX]

"Um Fai….I don't think we should be doing this." Syaoran was holding a camera in his hand as he was viewing the soon-to-be tragedy that was going to follow through the lens. Needless to say he was more or less forced to film such a thing.

"Don't be such a worry-wart Syaoran~!" Fai shouted happily. "I assure you that everything will turn out fine~!"

"You're in a shopping cart!" The boy retorted loudly. "And on the _roof _no less!"

Fai just laughed Syaoron's concern off. "Oh come on~! What's the worst that could happen~?"

What followed after were a crash, screams, and random by-standers laughing at Fai's apparent lack of common sense.

* * *

[Dated XX of XXXX]

"Oh come on, Kuro-puu! Blow out the candle~!"

It was Kurogane's birthday and everyone was there and having a fun time…except the birthday boy.

"I'm too old for this crap." Kurogane stated as he glared at the candle that dared flicker in front of him. "And you know how much I hate sweets!"

"Oh don't be such a sore loser and blow out the candle already~!" Yuuko shouted as she was waving her 100th glass of wine that evening.

Narrowing his eyes, Kurogane leaned down to the candle to blow it out when suddenly…

_BOOM!_

Everyone screamed as cake flew everywhere; mostly on Kurogane's face and the screen. As quickly as it started it ended, leaving people who were foolish enough to be near the cake to be covered in it; including the birthday boy.

Wiping some of the cake off his face, Kurogane glared at the culprit who was responsible for the dirty trick.

The camera then goes to Fai who had cake splattered on his shirt but had a remote in his hand. He nervously smiled.

"…Happy birthday?"

* * *

[Dated XX of XXXX]

Sakura was holding the camera as you can hear her voice. "Okay Doumeki! Are you sure you want to do this?"

Doumeki was standing on the side of a bridge with a rope tied around his ankles. He was also wearing a helmet as well elbow and shin guards. He turned to Sakura (thus looking at the camera) and nodded as he gave her the thumbs up.

Giggling with uncertainty, Sakura nodded (that was only seen a bit by the helmet's reflection) and gasped as Doumeki jumped and sore down to the ground way below. As she moved to the side she smiled as viewed Doumeki's first bungee jump.

Though it would have been better if the rope didn't snap thus sending Doumeki into the deep lake below. It took hours, first-aid and Watanuki's over-dramatic heart attack to convince the stoic teen to never attempt that stunt again.

* * *

[Dated XX of XXXX]

The camera was on during a time at night, it's unmoving from the start. Then an image of Yuui came on as the man was walking casually up the front door of Kurogane's house. He knocked on the door softly and waiting for it to open.

After two minutes, Yuui knocked on the door again. "Hello, Kurogane. Are you there?" After knocking on the door three times, the door finally started to open and Yuui started to walk in—

"BOO~!"

"AHH!"

Only to fall on the pavement as he screamed in a high pitch noise. He then crawled backwards; whimpering in fear as he thought it was killer. Except what was on the other side of the door was Fai with a goalie mask on.

Fai took off the mask and just laughed loudly at the position his younger twin was in. "Haha~! Did I scare you~? I bet I did~! Ha, you should've seen the look of your face when I got you~!"

Yuui, who was sitting on the pavement blinked before calmly standing up. Then something went through the twins briefly before Fai yelped and ran inside the house with Yuui chasing him with murderous intent.

The only sounds that were heard were Fai's screams of help and Kurogane's yells of annoyance.

* * *

[Dated XX of XXXX]

Yuuko was drinking what seemed to be her 25th cup of liquor in the past hour. By then she was swaying and stumbling on her feet while managing a smile on her face. Before long, she fell on the couch; holding a bottle of sake in her hand.

What wasn't shown was Watanuki (who was holding the camera at the time) sighing for the fifth time as Yuuko drunkenly gaze into the camera. "'Ey! Watauki'~! Guess 'ow mch I dunk' tonight~!"

Watanuki (still not seen) groaned. "Oh gee, I don't know….about A MANSION'S WORTH OF ALCOHOL IN ONE SETTING!"

Yuuko laughed as she shook her head. "No , you silly goss'~!" She then tried to tap Watanuki's nose but dropped her hand as she decided it was too much work. "I drank….ooh…I don't know…" Then the alcohol finally reached her as eyes started to drop and her body leaned forward until finally she hit the floor…hard. The bottle in her hand drops forward with her and spills on the floor.

Watanuki tapes this whole thing and had one thing to say about it.

"If you expect me to clean this mess up, you got another thing coming."

* * *

[Dated XX of XXXX]

Syaoran was calmly filming a friend/family trip to the beach one summer. The teachers thought it would be a good idea for a vacation of sorts and everyone pretty much agreed. Syaoran volunteered to tape most of the trip since he doesn't liked to be in the spotlight.

"Hey Syaoran~!" The boy turned to see Sakura waving at him with a cute pink bikini. Though it wasn't seen by the way the camera was shaking a bit, one could tell that Syaoron was having a hard time not to drop it.

"Hey Sakura." He answered. "How's the water?"

Sakura giggled as she placed her hands behind her back. "It's actually pretty nice; why don't you join me?"

_More camera shaking_

"Sorry, but I can't. I need to tape this and I'm not much of a swimmer. You go ahead; I'll be fine."

Sakura was about to say something but was cut off by a yell. The camera and Sakura turned to see Fai trying to pull Kurogane into the ocean; dragging sand along with them. Being the curios one, Syaoran silently zoomed in on the two.

"Oh come on Kuro-puu~!" Fai shouted out as he continued to drag Kurogane.

"Hell no!" Kurogane retorted. "I don't want to be in the freaking ocean with you of all people!"

"That's silly, of course you want to~! Why else would you let me drag you out to the oc—"

"Fai! Kurogane! Look out!" Syaoran and many people heard Sakura shout out before Fai and Kurogane were covered in a big shadow. Then a huge wave of water flushed them out as they were soaked completely though not even including the fact that Kurogane had a crab on his head.

Syaoran and Sakura was completely shocked. As if the situation wasn't any worse, Syaoron then saw the aftermath of the mess and laughed out-loud.

"Ha ha ha~! Wipe out~!"

* * *

**END OF PART ONE**

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**Don't forget to review, check out my other stories and vote on vamp poll in my profile.**

**Until Next Time~! ^_^  
**


	27. Bloating

Hey guys~! Another one up~! This one's pretty random; got the idea out of nowhere...then again i _was _bored so it made sense; yeah. XD

**For Onigiri-chan **- Don't worry about it, as long as you reviewed just once, I'll know that you liked it~! ^_^ and yeah the 'video' chapter was pretty funny huh? XD and don't worry; I'll try to update as frequent as possible~! ^_^

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**Warning: Language and a random plot**

**Disclaimer: don't own them; never will**

**Enjoy~! ^_^  
**

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**There are things that should not be taken seriously**

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**"Oh my freakin' god mage, what the hell did you do this time?" Kurogane was looming over a certain magician this one afternoon in mere disbelief and oddly enough not that much anger. (But he's still angry; there's no doubt about that). He came home after working at a job to get money to pay rent for a house that the group was staying in for awhile. When he wasn't bombarded with hugs or annoyingly loud babbling…he was a bit concerned.

When the ninja went into the hallway, he heard soft cries of pain coming from the mage's room. Now alarmed, he dashed towards the room and almost broke the door trying to get in (Which he had to repair eventually). He looked around the room and saw the mage curling into a ball on the bed; groaning in discontent and pain. He was about to ask the mage if he was hurt or if there was anything wrong.

That's when he saw pieces of candy wrappers laying on the ground; leading upwards to the bed where a big empty jar was laying next to the mage.

He was not amused or happy about it.

Kurogane growled as he didn't like the idea of being ignored. "Oi mage! I'm talking over here! Just what the hell did you do!"

Slightly turning his body, Fai looked over his shoulder and weakly grinned. "Oh…hey Kuro—" He gagged a bit. "What's up? Why are you staring at me like that?" He suddenly hunched over and moaned in agony. Then he started to cough in a wretched manner before breathing deeply.

The ninja rolled his eyes at the scene. "Mage….why is your room so damn messy?" He then sighed in frustration. "And could you please tell me how you got into this in the first place! You look like some bloated whale from that movie!"

Chuckling weakly, Fai slowly sat up while trying not to upset his stomach. "Well it happened about two hours ago." He smiled as the memory of that time flooded him. "I was cleaning the kitchen when the phone rang."

* * *

[Wow, Flashback]

_Fai was dusting the countertops of the kitchen; humming as he cleaned. Then the house phone rang. Confused on who had the number, Fai went to the phone and picked it up. "Hello~?"_

"_Well if it isn't my favorite mage~!"_

_Fai smiled happily at the voice. "Yuuko~!" He clasped the phone with two hands. "I never thought you would get phone connection via different dimensions~!" _

_Yuuko laughed. "I have my ways. Anyway there's something that I want you to do for me." Taking a pause, Yuuko lowered her voice. "There's a jar of chocolate inside one of the cabinets in the kitchen where you are right now. Could you do me a favor and eat them as fast as you can?"_

"…_.I'm sorry?" Fai said; slightly confused at the request. "Did you just say that you want me to chug down a huge amount of chocolate in record time?"_

"_Yep. I was going to give that jar to Mokona but she didn't return my calls. She has been a very naughty little thing. So I think you should enjoy it instead."_

"…_by choking it down as quickly as I can?"_

"_Yeah. It seem that another ability Mokona has is 'chocolate dispenser' as explained by our very cooperate ninja."Oh well that made sense. "So can you do it; Mokona can smell chocolate from a mile away since it's out of the wrapper."_

_Fai shifted his eye with uncertainty. "Well o-okay then. I'll try my best." He could hear Yuuko practically cheering on the other end. _

"_That's wonderful Fai~! Thank you so much~!" And with that she hung up._

_Looking at the phone, Fai placed it back on the receiver and went towards the cabinets. "A jar of chocolate huh? Well I do like sweets so it can't be that bad." He then opened one of them and smiled as he saw the object in question. "Ah ha. Found you~!" He took the jar and gasped when he held it in his arms. "My, this is a heavy jar. I might have second thoughts on Yuuko's odd request." He then looked around and shrugged. "Oh well; I'll try my best to keep the witch happy and keep this from Mokona~!"_

[Wow, Flashback's over]

* * *

"…You're an idiot." Kurogane finally said as Fai finished his story. By now the mage was laying on his stomach as the pain subsided just a bit. "How can you just do something just because the witch told you to? That chocolate could be poisoned for all we know!"

Laughing at the statement, Fai rolled on his back. "Despite what you think, Yuuko means well. She just expresses it in an outside-of-the-box kind of way." He then placed both hands on his stomach. "Kuro-puu, could you please get me some medicine~? I need to get better if my dear family wants a home-cooked meal tonight."

Sighing, Kurogane turned around. "Fine. But we're not done talking about this." With that said Kurogane left the room and went for the kitchen. "Damn that witch. I bet she had a motive behind it if she wanted the mage of all people to choke down those disgusting things." As he entered the kitchen, he blinked.

Sakura returned home.

The princess smiled at the ninja. "Good afternoon, Kurogane. How are you today?"

"Uh…fine I guess." Kurogane then scoffed. "Can't say the same for the mage though."

"Fai, why; what's wrong with him?" Sakura asked in concern.

Kurogane waved off the concern. "It's not serious, just a stomach pain. The moron choked down a bunch of crappy chocolate that the witch had for the pork bun but decided to put it all on the moron and now his stomach hurts." He then frowned deeply. "Now I have to play nurse for him if we're ever going to get dinner later."

Sakura was about to say something but a thought came into her head. "You know; Mokona said something earlier about chocolate. She said that Yuuko had stale chocolate hidden in the kitchen somewhere and wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible. I wonder what she meant by that?"

"…"

"Kurogane?"

The ninja smirked before turning around; heading back to the hallway. "I think I should tell the mage something. How about you prepare the medicine for me?"

Confused, Sakura could only nod.

* * *

[Time skip for the win!]

Watanuki was cooking up a fancy meal for Yuuko as usual when suddenly he heard a giant explosion that shook the whole shop. After a few seconds, Watanuki decided to venture to the main room to see what's up.

As he walked there he could see bits of what looked like dough. Confused, he went towards the front door of the room (which had bits of dough on it) and opened it.

Inside, the room was absolutely covered in sugar like dough. From the walls of the room to the outside area, nothing was unscathed. In the middle of the room were Yuuko (who was mostly covered in that gooey stuff. Next to her was the black Mokona who more or less looked like a dough ball with eyes.

They looked at Watanuki with speechless stares; trying to comprehend what the hell just happened.

Watanuki stared back at them for what seemed like hours before finally sighing in frustration.

"I'm _not_ cleaning this up."

* * *

**END**

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**Don't forget to review, check out my other stories and vote on vamp poll in my profile**

**Until Next Time~! ^_^**


	28. Checkups

Okay~! Another one up~! I actually had fun with this one and i hope you all have a laugh about it~! ^_^

Umm...just a heads-up; i shown **no mercy** to the group (well expect Mokona but she gets her fair share off-screen XD) You might want to open your mind and not think of anything bad when reading this, plus i wrote most of this at late night but that's _no _excuse for it! ...I hope. XD

**Onigiri chan **(**tHE oNIgIrI~**) - Man, I know what you mean. Yuuko is just like that~! XD But hey, we all love her for it right? (well most of us but that's not the point) XD. and i laughed at your choice word for the last one: Punny. XD. Man, you are something else~! XD But hey thanks for reviewing~! ^_^

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**Warnings: heavy bits of language and inaccuracy of medical/whatever profession information  
**

**Disclaimer: Don't own them; never will**

**Enjoy~!  
**

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**Check-ups**

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* * *

**"What are you saying sir?" Fai asked as he sat in front of the optician with a frown. "Do I really need glasses?"

"Why yes you do." The optician nodded as he went through Fai's files and his recent eye test. "I don't have info on where you came from but according to the eye exam you just taken. Your eyesight has been the worst I have ever seen in my career as an optician. I'm just baffled that you can see at all for some time."

Looking down with a knowing smile, Fai then looked back up at the man. "So I need glasses. Okay, I get it." He laced his fingers together and placed him on his lap. "So what kind of glasses, do I need?"

The optician looked at the papers and frowned. "Well considering that you have any proof of insurance. I can only give you something that only you can afford out of your pocket, okay?"

Fai nodded. "Sure." Well, it's not like he'll be in the world for long. What kind glasses would he get with that in mind?

[Later]

Kurogane stared at Fai when the mage got home. Something was…oddly different about him. He just couldn't tell what. "Hey mage….what happened?"

Fai sighed as he turned to meet the Ninja's eyes. On his face were the dorkiest glasses anyone has ever seen. The rims were bigger than the eyes, the material was about as thick as a butter knife and every time the glasses fall over, he had to push them back up. "….the optician told me that my eyesight was bad so he got me this." He shifted his eyes as he pushed those glasses back up. "And this is the only one he had because of my budget."

"…"Kurogane just looked at the glasses on the mage's face. "Right….um….I'll just go outside to train and try _not _to laugh at how ridiculous you look right now."

* * *

Sakura was waiting inside of a doctor's room as she was getting a check-up because of Syaoran's concern and Fai's motherly affection for his 'daughter'. Kurogane just thought it all bull anyway.

As she was swinging her legs while sitting on one of those high tables when her female doctor came back in.

"Okay Ms. Sakura, I've checked your whole physical exam. You have normal blood pressure, no diseases, and normal height, eyesight, hearing and while you're a couple pounds underweight, it's not the major issue here." She then took a seat as Sakura tilted her head in confusion.

"Why do you say that? Is there something wrong with me?" Sakura asked.

The doctor shook her head with a smile. "No dear! It's just that here in these papers that you're fourteen, if I'm reading this information correctly." When Sakura nodded, the doctor continued. "Well in that case, there are some personal questions I want to ask you." She looked at Sakura seriously. "Have you experienced any…changes in your body that you want to talk about?"

"….Excuse me?" Was all Sakura can say.

"I know that it's rather embarrassing to talk about since you're at that age where it's rather difficult to comprehend them but it's important that we meet those head-on in case anything happens."

Sakura blinked before shaking her head. "No I mean, what are you talking about?"

"…." The doctor could stare back at her with confusion of her own. "Um…I mean about you 'becoming a woman'. You know that phrase right?"

The young girl shook her head.

The doctor sighed as she now understood what was going on. "Sweetie," She started out with a bit of hesitation. "Do you ever have 'the talk'?"

"…no, I can't say that I do. What is 'the talk'?"

And that's how Sakura come home with a red face, Syaoran having a heart attack, Fai and Mokona cooing at how grown up the princess was and Kurogane just sighed and left the room.

* * *

The therapist looked at Syaoran with a sad expression. "So tell me more about this 'Kurogane' guy. He seems to be only little of your problem but I'm assuming otherwise."

Syaoran looked at the man while lying down on a green couch. He then turned his attention to the ceiling. "Well, Kurogane is a strong man. Stronger then I have ever seen in my entire life." The man clicked his pen and wrote down something on his pad as Syaoran kept talking. "I would never think ill of him no matter what has happen in our…eh….summer trip, but sometimes he gets angry; very much so that it kinda scares me….up to the point that if I were to fight him…I would lose…_painfully_."

"I see." The man looked up from his pad. "And this…'Kurogane' guy; does he give you headaches or huge bouts of stress from time to time?"

Syaoran shook his head. "Not really; if anything he's my anchor to just hold on and walk forward…besides the prin-Sakura. And I know I just said that this guy's scary as scary comes but despite that he's like a role-model in my life. I'm just worried about his anger-issues."

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, god knows even anger-management won't help us with that beast of a ninja.**

**

* * *

**"Ah huh." The man nodded. "Now then, how about this 'Mokona' you mentioned briefly earlier. You say that…'she' was more of the cause for your abnormal amount of stress. Now why is that exactly?"

Syaoran frowned as he narrowed his eyes. "Mokona's…..not what you say very innocent. She may look like an adorable little thing but as soon as you _really _get to know her….your mind will never undo what she has done to it."

"What do you mean by that, Syaoran?"

"….She makes an average pervert seem like a person with a harmless hobby." Syaoran chose his words carefully as the therapist raised an eyebrow at his statement. "She has these….videos of…and the magazines and the innuendos that…..I have to take Sakura away from there every time something bad happens and Mokona makes it worse!" Syaoran took a deep breath. "I just can't take it!"

* * *

**A/N: If anyone didn't realize it by now…I have made Syaoran look like a near-crying person. But hey if you got an angry ninja with a superiority complex, a gender-confused wizard (yes I said it, do you **_**see**_** the way he dresses?) and a very perverted pork bun 24/7, you probably cry too…unless you're a fangirl/boy and then that's a whole other level that normal people would faint that.**

**

* * *

**The therapist nodded sympathetically as he wrote something on his pad. "That's a very big problem. I guess you had to deal with this about everyday huh?" He then placed both hands on his lap as he pressed his lips into a thin line. "Now then, that leads to the last person that is the most of your cause of stress; the person you have been avoiding talking about since we started…Fai."

Syaoran stiffened. "H-Huh?"

"Yes Syaoran. I'm talking about Fai. He must have caused a lot of both stress issues and problems to your so-far short life. Now as I said before, the first step to getting over those problems would be to talk about it." Then the therapist smiled encouragingly. "So, what is it about Fai that made you _oh so_ railed up?"

"…Well….."

[Hours later]

"Oh hey Syaoran, welcome home~!" Fai called out as Syaoran returned home. "How was therapy today~? Do you feel any better~?"

At first Syaoran didn't say anything as he went for the fridge and took out a bottle of lemonade. But after taking a few sips before sighing, he finally looked at Fai. "I'm fine. But my therapist isn't."

"Eh? Why's that?"

"Well I mentioned you when I was talking to him."

"Oh how sweet of you~! And what did he say~?"

Syaoran looked down on his drink. "He didn't _say _anything. But he gave me this paper to give to you." He reached into his pocket and took out a folded paper. He gave it to Fai.

"Oh, I see." Fai took the paper, opened it and read the contents inside. "Hmm. So is this another appointment for you to see him~?"

"No Fai, that's for you."

"Well that's g—Wait what?"

Syaoran coughed. "He said that you should see him on that date and time to….talk."

"….huh?"

"He also wants Kurogane and Mokona to be there too. He wants to talk to them too."

"…."

"But the good news is that I feel better now that I got everything out of my chest. And I hope he'll do the same thing for you."

"….Syaoran….what exactly did you say about us to him?"

It was the night that Syaoran was the damsel in distress and Sakura being the hero for once.

Lesson of the day: What happens in therapy _stays_ in therapy.

* * *

Kurogane was impatiently tapping his foot while staying in the waiting room of clinic. He glared at the wall as he remembered why he was there in the first place.

[Earlier]

"_I'm sorry Kurgy but if you want to stay healthy you have to visit a doctor!" Fai lightly scolded as Kurogane was feeling a bit under the weather. "That last world we went to did a number on you and we have to be very careful in case it's contagious." _

_Kurogane scoffed as he looked away. "I don't need a damn doctor telling me something that I already know." He felt a chill on his spine as Fai sent him one of his deadly smiles._

"_Oh? And what do you have, Kuro~?" When Kurogane didn't answer, Fai chuckled. "Thought so." He then gave the ninja a piece of paper. "That's the name of the clinic you're going later plus the doctor's name. I already made the appointment so there's no backing out."_

_It took all of Kurogane's strength _not _to strangle the mage._

_Fai smiled as if he read his mind. "Don't worry Kurgy. Everything will be fine. And if not you can always try and strangle me later~!"_

"…_.Fine, but I won't like it."_

[Back to the angry ninja in a chair]

"Damn it mage, it was just a cough." Kurogane muttered as he watched nurses walking past him. "I haven't been sick a freaking long time. It's not like it'll kill me or anything." Though inside Kurogane was a bit nervous if whatever made him cough was some incurable disease that was dormant inside of him and was just now showing up. It didn't scare him, no but it made him nervous.

He then thought that he was getting a bit soft.

"Um…Kurogane? Is there a Kurogane here?"

Hearing his name, Kurogane stood up and walked up to the checking desk. "Yeah, that's me."

The woman at the desk looked up at Kurogane and instantly blushed. Apparently, she had never seen a man like him before.

* * *

**A/N:…Nah, too easy**

**

* * *

**Kurogane rolled his eyes and promptly ignored the woman's flirtatious looks. "So, am I up or what?"

"huh…oh yes! Your appointment!" The woman typed up something on the computer and then smiled. "Oh yes, Kurogane; check-up with Doctor Jones at…" She checked the time and laughed. "About right now actually." She took out a piece of paper and wrote something down. "He's in room 34a on the second floor." She gave him the paper. "Here you go."

Kurogane nodded. "Right." Then without a 'thank you' he left the desk; rolling his eyes at the starry stares he was getting from that woman.

[A bit later]

"Alrighty now~!" Doctor Jones looked over his clipboard as he briefly glanced at Kurogane. "Now Mister Kurogane, what is going on in your body?"

Kurogane didn't know if that was a joke or some weird way of wording the question 'what's wrong?' "Um…I had this…cough that's getting on my nerves. The ma—I mean my annoying friend thought it could be something dangerous and contagious and practically shoved me out of the damn house and over her now could you freaking help me!"

Doctor Jones blinked before laughing whole-heartedly. "I see~! Man, you're just like my spouse always finding a reason to argue; sometimes it's annoying but mostly it's cute~!" He chuckled as he looked down at the clipboard. "God knows he just loves his nasty tea in the afternoon though." He muttered.

"…What?"

"Oh, am I speaking too loud~? Sorry about that~!" Jones then took out his stethoscope with a big grin. "Let's begin with your breathing pattern. Take off your shirt please~!"

"…"

[Later]

"Well we did the basics and some tests for anything. Now all we have to do is wait a bit before they come back with the results~!" Jones chuckled awkwardly as Kurogane growled while putting back his shirt. "You don't seem like the pushover type."

Kurogane rolled his eyes. "Really? I never would have realized that." He said sarcastically, making the doctor laugh.

"Oh you're so much like my spouse; never taking any crap from anyone; even from one of our friends…though he can get perverted sometimes. But it's fun to see them argue a lot~!"

The ninja raised an eyebrow on that. "You're…not like the other stuck up doctors I've met. What's your problem?"

Jones grinned as he crossed his arms. "Well I'm more or less a hero to a lot of people. They look up to me~! My spouse said that I'm childish but that's better than being a stuffy old coot~!" He grinned at his statement. "So what about you~? Do you have someone special in your life~?"

"….Well…." Kurogane shifted his eyes before remembering something. "Hey! Wait a minute! Why the hell am I having this conversation with you! For all I know I might be saying something stupid and you'll make fun of me!"

Jones laughed loudly at that before he smiled widely. "Hahaha! Calm down, no need to bark at me, I was just having a bit of fun~! You're just like him; always defense~!" He then got a knock on the door. "Yes~?"

A nurse popped in with a sheet of paper. "Doctor Jones, the test results are back." She gave him the paper.

"Ah good, thanks~!" As the nurse left he looked at the paper with a nod. "Ah….I see."

Kurogane raised an eyebrow. "Well…what is it?"

"Well it looks like you having a bit of the flu." Jones looked up at Kurogane who just sneezed at the same time. "Yep, tests are never wrong~!"

* * *

**A/N:….You know what; make your own jokes about it. XD**

**

* * *

**Kurogane sniffled. "A flu? Where I come from, diseases are pretty damn hard to get better from." He sneezed again, only louder. "Damn it!"

Jones hummed as he crossed his arms. "I see. Well don't you worry because there's something that'll help you right up~!" He went to one of the small tables and opened the drawer. He then reached in there and took out a sharp object. "A flu shot~!"

"…."Kurogane looked at that needle. "A shot?"

"Yep~!" Jones squeezed the end of the needle to prove his point. "Thanks to _America's _advances on medicines, the vaccine is more convenient for the common man and you'll be better in no time~!"

"…._Fuck no_."

"Excuse me~?"

Kurogane started backing off as he stared at the needle. "I will not let that damn needle get anywhere _near_ my skin! You can fucking forget it doc!"

Jones looked at him before looking at the needle. He slowly smirked as glanced at the ninja. "Oh I see; a big baby doesn't want to get an itty bitty shot~!"

"I AM _NOT_ A BIG BABY!" Kurogane bellowed out. "I JUST DON'T TRUST THAT…THING!"

"Then prove it." Jones challenged the man. "Take the shot."

"No!"

"Take it!"

"Hell no! I'm not getting that damn shot and you can't make me!" Kurogane decided as he walked into a corner.

"Okay…" Jones backed away to the side of a wall where there was a button on it. "You leave me with no choice then~!" He pressed the button. "Ludwig~! Gilbert~! We got ourselves another one~!"

"WHAT!"

[Later]

"Ah Kurgy~! You're home~!" Fai called out as he heard Kurogane grumbling as the ninja went through the door. He was cooking so he couldn't see the man. "So how was the appointment~?"

"…It was….okay."

"Oh that's nice." Fai cleaned his hands as he turned off the stove. "Did the doctor tell you what you got?"

"….it was the flu. I got…the shot for it."

"…You seem very quiet Kurgy. What seems to be….the…problem…?" Fai finally turned around and gaped at the view he got of Kurogane. "Kuro-sama….what happened to you?"

Kurogane was in bruises and cuts. His knuckles were blackened and he for some odd reason had a bit of white paint on his hair. But what pegged Fai odd about it was that on his left arm was a hello kitty band-aid and there was a small but bright lollipop in his right hand.

Fai stared. "….uncomfortable?"

"_Very_."

"…Still want to strangle me?"

"….as much as I want to, I don't have the fucking energy for it…"

"…..Shall I get Mokona instead?"

"…..yes."

And that's how Mokona became one of the foods she has always eaten.

Hint: it's flat

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**END**

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_P.S-if anyone knew I'm loosely basing Kurogane's doctor and those random names on then you get an honorary mention in my next chapter~! XD Though i bet some of you guys already know._

**Don't forget to review, check out my other stories and vote on vamp poll in my profile**

**Until Next Time~! ^_^  
**


	29. Don't ask, Don't tell

I...uh...yeah.

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**Honorable Freaking Mentions~!**

**ATLovesSweetsMmmCandy**- YES! Now when did it become Jeopardy? XD****

**Angel of the Midnight Sea**- CORRECT~! Because it's too addicting~! XD

**WAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIII**- Yep~! You get a mention even though you're an awesome but anonymous reviewer.

**Onigiri -chan**- WOOHOO~! GOT IT~! Believe me, you don't want to know what Syaoran said about Fai. XD and I'm glad you like it~! ^_^

* * *

**Warnings**: **language and blah blah blah. XD**

**Disclaimer: don't own them, never will**

**Enjoy~!  
**

* * *

**Don't ask, Don't tell**

**

* * *

**All Watanuki wanted was a glass of water. He was thirsty and wanted something to drink. It was the middle of the night and everything. So how did he end up under the covers shaking and a red face?

Oh yeah, it was because of _them_.

* * *

It was about 11:57 pm when he and the rest of the sleepover group decided to call it a night. The group consisted of Syaoran, Syaoron, Doumeki and Yuui-sensei. Ordinarily a student doesn't invite a teacher to these kinds of things but something happened to said teacher that made him cringe in sympathy.

* * *

_Watanuki was walking down the hallway during lunch break; trying to find his insufferable idiot of a friend when he saw Yuui and Fai talking about something. Confused, he went towards the pair. "Hey Fai-sensei, Yuui-sensei; what's up?"_

_Fai looked at Watanuki with a grin. "Oh, nothing much. I was just telling my little brother about my romantic weekend I will have with my Kuro-love-sensei~!"_

_The teen looked at Yuui to confirm. The blonde shrugged. "I see. So where are you guys going?" Watanuki really didn't want to know but he can tell by Yuui's desperate expression, the sooner Fai gets it out; the better._

"_Kurgy-sensei's taking me somewhere special and secret~!" Fai swooned at the statement. "I wanted him to tell me but he scoffed and pushed me out of his office~!"_

"_Man, Kurogane-sensei has gotten really insecure lately." Watanuki offhandedly commented._

"_You have no idea." Yuui smirked before turning back to Fai. "That's great and all but what about the inside my house that you plainly _poisoned!_"_

"…_.I'm sorry, what?" Watanuki asked._

_Fai chuckled as he waved dismissively. "I did something a bit gruesome to his kitchen and now his house is now out of commission."_

"_Brother….you blew up my stove and got the oven on fire. The statement 'a bit gruesome' is clearly understated!" Yuui crossed his arms as he huffed. "Now I have to stay in your and Kurogane-sensei's place until my house is repaired."_

_Watanuki looked at the twins. Apparently, one weekend was planned while another was ruined. At that moment, he was glad that he didn't have a twin…..even gladder that he didn't have a twin who was like Fai. "Um…if you want Yuui-sensei, you can hang out with me; I'm hosting a sleepover this weekend with the guys."_

_Yuui looked over at Watanuki and smiled. "Really?" He looked over at Fai and smirked. "I think that's a wonderful idea. I'll be there."_

_Fai cheered. "Yay~! Now everyone's happy~!" He then walked off while waving. "Now if you'll excuse, I have a certain doggy to tame~!"_

_Watanuki and Yuui just stared as the chemistry teacher walked off; singing was he went._

"…_.Did he really meant what he said?"_

_Yuui looked at him with a slightly depleted look on his face. "When doesn't he?"_

"…_.right."_

_

* * *

_So Yuui came for the sleepover was introduced to the few people that were there (i.e: Syaoran, Syaoron and Doumeki). They played a few games, got cooking lessons from Yuui and watched a few movies. So when it was about midnight, they decided to hit the hay and call it a night. Syaoran and Doumeki were in Watanuki's room; sleeping on the floor with blankets and pillows while Syaoron and Yuui slept in the living room.

About 3:46am, Watanuki woke up feeling a bit thirsty. Sighing, he got up from the bed and walked carefully out of the room (but not without kicking Doumeki in the side first). He got out of the room and walked down the lone hallway. He got to the kitchen with no trouble and got a glass of water. He glanced at the living from there and raised an eyebrow.

"Hmm…I was very confused on why Yuui and Syaoron wanted to sleep in the living room but I guess they're still new and everything." Watanuki chuckled at the thought. "Better to make one friend at a time." Setting his glass on the counter, he started walking back to his room. He was walking pass the bath room (which he failed to notice that the light was on there) when he heard a groan coming from it.

He stopped. "What the heck?"

"_Uh~_"

Watanuki narrowed his eyes in confusion. "Was that Yuui-sensei?" He then heard the faucet running and then shrugged. "Huh, Yuui-sensei must not be used to the hours." He was about to walk away when he heard something even more suspicious.

"_Wait Syaoron…don't..ah~!"_

"S-Syaoron?"

"_Just me a second; I promise you, you won't feel a thing."_

Watanuki blushed. He turned his head away from the door. "S-Syaoron…with Yuui-sensei? T-That's not possible…they…they're guys right so why—"

"_Ow~! Syaoron please, it hurts~! Take it out~! Ahn~!"_

That line alone blew any logical sense Watanuki had left in his brain.

"_J-Just give me a second! Argh….It's pretty stuck in there! L-Let me take it out slowly, okay?"_

"_Ow,ow,ow! Syaoron please! No more, just get it out! I can't take it anymore~!"_

"_Okay! Okay…just let me just slowly take it out and you'll feel better."_

"_O-Okay…." _A moment of silence before a shaky sigh was heard. "_J-Just please…please Syaoron take it ou-aaaaahhh~!"_

A moan of relief was heard before Watanuki heard Syaoron grunt of content. By that point, he wanted nothing more than to just go back in time and forget that moment even happened. Quickly and quietly, Watanuki ran back to his room and did an amazing leap to his bed and covered himself with his sheets and shivered in embarrassment.

Syaoran blinked slowly as he vaguely saw Watanuki's sheet-covered form shaking. "Hmm? What's wrong with him…bad dream?" He tiredly asked.

Doumeki who was awake for some time just scoffed. "As if."

Watanuki stayed awake for the rest of the night.

* * *

[In the bathroom]

Syaoron sighed as he washed the blood of his hands. "Man Yuui-sensei that was some injury you got. Now what happened to you again?"

Yuui rubbed his bandaged shoulder as he groaned a bit in pain. "Well I was in the kitchen, trying to get something went I slipped on a small puddle and hit the fridge. Then the next thing I know I had a broken piece of a family photo frame on me."

The boy nodded as he saw that piece flow in the sink. "Man that sucks. Good thing I was awake at the time or else you'll be in a bigger mess." He cleaned up the bathroom while Yuui just sat on top of the toilet seat. "You know you might have to buy Watanuki a new frame."

"Yes, I'm aware of that. I'll buy one and give it to him on Monday." Yuui smiled as Syaoron chuckled. "My weekend just got worse and worse didn't it?"

"Naw, I wouldn't say that. But if it makes you feel any better; I wasn't having a swell weekend either."

"Oh, how so?"

Syaoron grimaced. "Does _taming a dog_ ring any bells for you?"

"….I'm _so_ sorry."

"Not as sorry as Kurogane-sensei's going to be."

* * *

[Monday]

Watanuki was walking down the hallway to his next class. He finally got the fact that maybe Yuui and Syaoron were together and he should support them no matter what. That's why when he spotted Yuui at the end of the hallway he took a deep breath and walked towards him as proud and graceful as possible.

**A/N: Can we say 'Fail' on this one? XD**

"Yuui-sensei!" Watanuki shouted out. "I need to talk to you!"

The cooking teacher looked over and smiled. "Oh, Watanuki! Just the person I wanted to see." He was holding something in his arms but it went unnoticed. "I just wanted to say that I had fun at the sleepover last weekend."

Watanuki coughed but nodded. "T-Thanks but that's not what I wanted to talk to you about."

Yuui raised an eyebrow on that. "It's not? Then what is it?"

Taking in a few seconds to breathe, Watanuki look straight into Yuui's eyes. "I know."

"…You know?"

"Yes, I know everything."

It took Yuui a moment before his eyes widened as it clicked into his head. "Oh. _Oh_. Look Watanuki, I want to apologize for what I did. I swear it wasn't-" He was cut off as Watanuki shook his head.

"No it's fine. I think that it's totally okay." Watanuki fondly smiled at the teacher. "I have no problem with it whatsoever. I know you might think I'll get angry about it but I'd like to say that I'm not and I hope that it wouldn't tear our friendship because of it."

Yuui blushed at the straightforwardness that Watanuki was obviously having. "W-Why thank you, Watanuki. That was very sweet but….I still feel like I owe you an explanation nonetheless." He then unwrap the thing that was in his arms. "So I got you this."

"I say don't worry about it, I think it's rather sweet that you and Sy-wait, what the?" Watanuki stopped when he saw what was in Yuui's arms. It was a brand new picture frame. It was bright brown with slightly golden lines plastered on it and in each corner was a model of angels with instruments. Dumbfounded, Watanuki could only stare up at the teacher.

The cooking teacher smiled apologetically. "I know. It was a pretty picture frame too. I felt bad for breaking it so I went out and bought this one. Again, I'm sorry for that. I hope it's enough."

"…Huh?" Watanuki had to think a bit. _'So he felt sorry because he broke the picture frame….that was on the counter the next day.' _His eyes widened. _'But then what really happened?.' _ Shyly, Watanuki took the picture frame. "Wow…it looks nice. How did it get broken?"

"I got into an accident and Syaoron patched it up for me." Yuui gently patted his shoulder. "It was a bit painful but I'm fine."

"….." Watanuki was speechless. _'T-That can't be right. You mean to tell me that the noises I heard weren't….oh my god!' _ His face turned a very deep red as he covered his eyes.

"Watanuki, is there something wrong?" Yuui asked. "You're starting to heat up." He touched the boy's forehead only to have the person yelled and stepping back a few inches. "…Watanuki—"

"I'M FINE!" Watanuki shouted before coughing. "I-I mean, I'm fine. I was just thinking of something else. Uh…Thank you so much for the gift."

The bell rang; signaling the start of the day.

"Well I better get to class. See you later Yuui-sensei." Watanuki walked away with Yuui waving him goodbye. Once out of his sight, Watanuki leaned his head on a random wall and sulked.

"Man, I got one _dirty_ mind."

* * *

**Omake**

Doumeki watched the ordeal between Watanuki and Yuui one morning. He too wanted to know what the hell happened to the spazzy teen. When he saw Watanuki blushing and Yuui confused, he smirked.

So Watanuki took it the wrong way.

"What are you doing?"

Doumeki looked at Syaoran who was curious as to why he was ease-dropping on someone's conversation.

The stoic teen didn't say anything at first so when the two separated, he faintly smirked at the younger boy. "Just wondering."

"Oh I see. I bet Watanuki thought nii-san and Yuui-sensei was doing something dirty on the night of the sleepover." Syaoran smiled. "Nii-san explained it to me about it. I for one am glad that it wasn't what it sounded like." He then heard the bell. "Oh. We better get to class."

"Un." Doumeki and Syaoran started walking towards their next class.

"Hey Syaoran."

"Yeah?"

"How about we don't tell the moron about this?"

"And why not?"

Doumeki didn't glance at Syaoran but had a faint smirk on his face. "I want to see how long the dense idiot will squirm about the whole thing. That way I have something to argue about."

Syaoran laughed about it. "But don't you always win anyway?"

"….Good point."

It was later that month that Watanuki finally found out that his male friends knew about the situation and proceeded to yell at them about it.

_Way to go, Watanuki._

_

* * *

_**END**

* * *

Uh...well...yeah

**Don't forget to review, check out my other stories and vote on vamp poll in my profile.**

**Until Next Time~! ^_^  
**


	30. Quotes

Sorry if this is not as funny as the last one. Thanksgiving is draining my funny side and starting to replace it with boring. Argh. DX

* * *

**Warnings: Language and randomness**

**Disclaimer: Don't own them; never will**

**Enjoy~!  
**

* * *

**Quotes**

**

* * *

**_'I'm old enough to know better, but I'm still too young to care.' __-Country song by Wade Hayes_

"Mage…"

"Yes, Kuro-puu~?"

"Could you explain to me why the hell are you in a frilly dress with a big ass lollipop in your hand and bows in your hair?"

Fai thought about his answer. "Well, I always wanted to know what would be like if I was young again~!"

Kurogane sighed heavily; trying hard to ignore the fact that the wizard was dressing like a girl. "God mage, you're older than any of us in this damn group? I would have thought that you were freaking smarter than this!"

"Haha! Oh Kuro-tan~!" Fai teased the man. "Just because I'm older doesn't mean I have to _act _older. I can be a child if I wanted to; and besides acting my age is too _boring_~!"

"…Too boring? Mage, it's called _maturity_. How about you try it once in a freaking while?"

Fai pouted. "But Kuro~! Where's the fun in that~?"

"There's nothing _fun_ about acting like some kid!"

"You wouldn't know because you're still one~!"

Kurogane stopped short on his rant and glared at the man before him. "I'm a _what_? You did not just call me a kid!"

Nodding, Fai laughed. "I believe I just did~! But that doesn't matter since I like you just the way you are~!" He twirled with glee as Syaoran and Sakura could only stare in awe (or embarrassment, no one could tell).

The ninja groaned as he silently admitted defeat. "….why can't you just normal like other people?"

* * *

_"If you want to know someone's true personality, just watch them drive."—Unknown_

Watanuki groaned. Why of all days did he agree to have Doumeki drive him from school? Granted, he sprained his ankle after tripping a small flight of stairs but that doesn't mean that the jerk had to volunteer to help him! He was fine by himself.

Well that was the case until Yuui-sensei caught him after (stupidly) trying to walk.

"Watanuki, are you okay?"

The teen look behind the passenger seat and saw Yuui looking at him with concern. Since the head of the infirmary was unable to take the student home, Yuui volunteered. However, because of a minor accident that happened with his own car (*coughFaicough*) the last resort was to have someone drive them both of them to the hospital.

That's when Doumeki came into the picture.

"I'm fine, Yuui-sensei." Watanuki politely answered back. "I just wished that there would be someone else driving me to the hospital." He glared at the person in question. "And how the hell did you get a license?"

Doumeki, who was sitting on the driver seat just glanced at him before pulling the stick into reverse and pulled out of the parking lot.

Yuui chuckled as he and Watanuki put their seatbelts on. "Oh come on, Watanuki. I'm sure that it'll be fine. Besides, this is Doumeki we're talking about. It's not like brother's driving us."

The car goes to the main road

Watanuki sighed but smiled nonetheless. "Yeah you're right."

Doumeki shifts into drive

"I mean, what can go wron—AHHHHHHHHHH!"

And that's how Watanuki _and_ Yuui ended up in the hospital.

* * *

_"As a cynic I generally expect the worst. I'm rarely disappointed."—Unknown_

"Come on, Fujimoto~!" Kobato shouted happily as she dragged her less-than-happy boyfriend to the local annual fair.

"Kobato, calm down. The fair's not going anywhere." Fujimoto calmly replied. "Besides, what's so great about a fair? It's just a bunch of losers being giddy for no reason."

The young girl gasped as she pouted at her boyfriend. "That's not a very nice thing to say!" She let go of his hand as she twirled around. "A fair has the greatest things; the rides, the food, the prizes, it's a dream come true~!"

Fujimoto shrugged. "Whatever. Just don't blame me if something goes wrong. Places like this always do."

"No they won't~!" Kobato retorted with a smile. "You'll see; nothing will go wrong here~!"

[Hours later]

Oh my god! Someone call 911! There's a huge fire here!

Kobato and Fujimoto just watched as the whole fair was engulfed in flames.

"See; what did I tell you?" Fujimoto didn't even glance at the girl but he can tell that she was sulking over it.

Honestly, he wasn't surprised.

* * *

_"As soon as someone says, 'With all due respect' you can be sure they're about to say something disrespectful or insulting."—Unknown_

In the academy, Yuuko was talking about a whole bunch of nonsense yet again. In the first few days of teaching, Yuui can handle the gossip or girl talk Yuuko would talk about (or deem them as a high level of importance) but lately, it was getting on his nerves.

And he wasn't the only one.

"And so I told my hairdresser that my hair _is_ natural black and she freaked out! And then we were talking about…."

Kurogane groaned as his head hit the table. Seishiro's fingers were twitching and Fai was dozing off.

The tension in the room was getting intense; more intense then a war zone. It wasn't until two minutes later that something in Yuui snapped.

"Yuuko-sensei!" Yuui stood up with a deep frown on his face. The rest of the group turned their attention to the cooking teacher. Even Fai woke up with a start after hearing his brother's rather un-commonly loud voice. "With all due respect…."

"Oh boy, he's pissed." Kurogane randomly commented.

"…You are _the _most annoying person on the freaking planet! I mean I can handle the little things like your twisted play-on words or stealing bits of my lunch but to hear you talk about things female and worthless is very insufferable to my ears and to others! Unless you have a damn good reason why you dragged us all here this morning, I suggest you _clam up_ and let the rest of us go on with our goddamn lives! Is that clear! I'm I reaching your _tone-deaf_ ears now! Good!"

And with that Yuui left, slamming the door open and shut; surprising the rest of the group.

Fai nervously chuckled. "Hyuu~! I think Yuui didn't get enough sleep last night."

"Heh ,what was your first clue moron; the bags under his eyes or the oversize mug that's on the table?"

* * *

"_Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.__"—Oscar Wilde_

"Oh god Sakura, what did Fai do to you?" Syaoran moaned in misery as he looked at the scene before.

Sakura's face was pampered up; with pink lipstick, heavy blushing, eyeliner, mascara and something else Syaoran couldn't point out…was that glitter?

The girl giggled. "Fai had nothing to do with this. I did this myself." She took out a huge make-up case that was lying on the floor. "But Fai _did _buy me this. He told me that since I was old enough to make my own decisions, I wanted to get this and try it out~!"

Syaoran nodded but still had a frown on his face. _'Even though she said all of that, I can't help but feel that Fai said something more than that.' _"Well that's nice princess, but don't you think that you should just put on that stuff just a little bit at a time?"

Sakura shook her head. "Nope, I think it's better to a lot at once. Fai told me that I shouldn't be stressed out on what works first and instead just go with your instinct~!"

'_Yes, while that is true….princess….you look like a clown…"_

The poor boy was torn between laughing behind the girl's back and finding Fai and strangling him.

* * *

_You have a right to your opinions. I just don't want to hear them.—Unknown_

If there's anything that Kurogane was really good at was the ability to tune out people and their annoying voices; especially when it comes to a particular wizard.

However, when he was dragged to a movie theater by said moron_, _knew that his ability was being tested on…on a very difficult level.

"I thought the movie was absolutely amazing~!" Fai blurted out as the two left the building late at night. "The animation was well done and the voice actors were to die for~!"

"…" Kurogane kept his mouth as he just looked at the sky.

"And the music was very orchestrated as well as the comedy! Haha, that man was so goofy~!"Fai stopped as he looked over at Kurogane. "So what do you think of the movie~?"

"…"

"Oh come on Kuro-puu~! I gave you my opinions about it~!" Fai pouted as Kurogane just sighed. "Geez, Kuro-tan; why are you so cold to me~?"

Finally, Kurogane just looked at the mage with narrowed eyes. "Just because you tell me things about how much you like this or like that doesn't mean that I give a crap about them. And really, when do I ever listen to anything that comes out of your big mouth anyway?"

"…."

"Well?"

"I…uh…um…"

"Exactly." Kurogane simply said. "So while you can say anything you want; it doesn't matter to me. It's all BS anyway."

Fai for once was speechless. Then slowly he had a smirk on his face. "Is that so?" He then walked pass the ninja with a little sway on his hips. "So if I said that I think I should top tonight you wouldn't care?"

"I still wouldn't give a-wait what?" Kurogane stopped and did a double take. "Hold on mage, I didn't say that! Of course I would care about that!"

"But you said that you don't care about whatever comes out of my mouth so that means I can top you anyway~!"

"Don't twist my words around mage! That's not what I said!"

"So you _do_ care about what I say~!"

"No I don't!"

"So then I _can_ top~!"

"_ARGGGH_!"

* * *

_There's no such thing as fun for the whole family. -Jerry Seinfeld_

"Oh come on Kurgy~! Give us a hint~!"

"Oh wait I know! I think he's a furry animal~!"

"I sort of think that Kurogane's a pirate."

"No! Kuro-puu's a fish~!"

Kurogane finally dropped his hands from his throat and sighed angrily. "I'm not a freaking fish or a pirate or a goddamn furry animal!" He waved his arms around. "I was a turkey for god's sake! A freaking turkey! Now do you get it!"

"…I thought I was close with furry animal….."

* * *

_Men are like steel; both are worthless when they lose their temper. __- Unknown_

Story of Fai's rather confusing love life.

* * *

_Last night the creative juices were flowing but today I am merely a vast wasteland of random thoughts.__– Peckeroy_

It was amazing how Doumeki's mind works on a daily basis.

However what Watanuki _didn't_ want to know was how the guy would talk about archery at one time and then just a whole stack of Yaoi Doujinshi the other time.

The stoic teen said that he wanted to read something different to pass the time.

Watanuki thought otherwise.

* * *

_Love your enemies. It'll make 'em crazy.—Unknown_

Seishiro was in a _happy_ mood. He walked down a random whistling as he went. So when he spotted Kurogane, the man he fought back at Outo he just smiled and waved. "Hey there Kurogane; how's life~?"

Kurogane just stopped and stared. "…what?"

The half-blind just laughed. "Oh come on, I'm trying to make a conversation since we barely got to talk." When Kurogane didn't say anything back, Seishiro shrugged. "Okay then, your loss." He then started walking away. "I'll be seeing you."

Kurogane turned and gaped at the man who was laughing and practically skipping on his merry way.

"_WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!_"

* * *

_"A true friend stabs you in the front." - Oscar Wilde_

"Mage…."

"Hmm~? What is it Kuro-puu~?"

"Could you explain to me why the hell I'm in a freaking maid outfit!"

Fai looked over and made an 'oh' look. "Oh that. Well you were really drunk last night and you said something along the lines of 'I want to wear something pretty like you do~!' and I couldn't say 'no' to that."

Fuming, Kurogane glared at…_argh_. "So you got me dressed up as some moronic girl and let me have my pictures taken by some random people from the streets! What kind of person does that!"

"A friend and a true friend at that." Fai smiled.

"Some friend you are!" Kurogane yelled out.

"Why thank you Kuro-puu; that was awfully nice of yo—why do you have your sword out?"

_A gleam of silver_

"…Kuro?" Fai was backing away. "What are you doing?"

_A dark smile took over the ninja's face._

"Oh I don't know; I'm just returning the favor since we are _friends_."

_The wizard gulped._

"I think you should run mage. _Now_."

_And ran he did._

_

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_**END**

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**Don't forget to review, check out my other stories and vote on vamp poll in my profile.**

**Until next time~! ^_^  
**


	31. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

Just proving a point that no one will get. XD Short, sweet and to the point. XD

Also: _17 days before my b-day. Just letting you know. XD_

**WAAAIIIIII-** Of course you'll get mentioned; I will never leave someone out~! ^_^ But I'm glad that you like the last chapter (even though it wasn't my best; blame the thanksgiving weekend *agh* XD)

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**Warnings- Not much this time.**

**Disclaimer- don't own them; never will**

**Enjoy~!  
**

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**WHAT DOES IT MEAN!**

**

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**Fai was ecstatic. He never thought he could see with his own eyes. Just when he thought that the camping trip was wonderful; words fail him as he was viewing the sky above with his camcorder. "Oh my god~!"

Kurogane lazily glanced at him. "What is it now, mage?"

The wizard could only gasp in awe as he was filming the sky with so much enthusiasm. "Wow~! Just look up there~! It must be one of those god given miracles that I have heard so much about~!" He pointed up above so Kurogane could see what he was talking about.

The ninja followed the finger as he saw something he had never seen before. Up above was a rainbow; shining bright and colorful after a very bad thunderstorm. He shrugged at it. _'so what…it's just a rainbow; big deal.'_ Just then he blinked as something else was with the rainbow. "Wait…is that…?"

"TWO RAINBOWS~!" Fai exclaimed. "ONE BEHIND THE OTHER~! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING TO ME~! THIS HAS GOT TO BE A ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY~!" He giggled in a giddy fashion as the second rainbow came into a clearer view. "Oh man~! This is amazing~!" Then he started to cry. "This is the best thing that has ever happen to me~! But what does it mean~?" He then started laughing in a slightly insane manner. "What does it even mean~?"

Just then Kurogane rolled his eyes.

"It means that you're taking this _way too seriously_ and are in desperate need of a reality check." The ninja stood up and started walking away from the crazed Rainbow lover.

"I knew I should've waited until he was completely sober before taking him out here."

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**END**

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**See? This is what happens when you look into the little things of life _too_ much. XD

**Don't forget to review, check out my other stories and vote on the vamp poll in my profile.**

**Until Next Time~! ^_^  
**


	32. Short chapter is short

I'm glad the last chapter made you guys laugh so hard at. XD I honestly didn't think that it would get that big of a feedback.

However, I apologize for the shortness of this chapter. I have a _bunch_ of Christmas fics to do and one of them involves certain fans want me write a sequel to. (You know who you are! XD) with that said; I'm sorry to say that '_Anything but Simple_' will be on hold until further notice. (I know it'll piss some of you off but that's how it is.)

_Now it's about 11/12 (depending where you are in the world) days until my b-day._

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**Review Responses:**

**Onigiri-chan: **wow really? What an eventful day you had. ^_^ And I'm glad that you like the rainbow chapter. XD and don't worry about the late review. I'm just glad to hear from you. and I'm glad you liked the chapter before as well. (most people did anyway XD)

**Catfishii: **I'm glad that you like the rainbow chapter. Alot of people did too. XD (WHAT DOES THIS MEAN!) and thank you so much~! I didn't think anyone would say 'Happy b-day' this early. (granted you said 'early' but still thank you~! ^_^)

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**Warnings:...mildly disturbing imagery  
**

**Disclaimer: Don't own them; never will**

**Enjoy~! (Especially you Uakari~!)  
**

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**A shout out to Uakari**

**

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**"Oh come on Kuro-buu~!" Fai lazily shouted. "Come out of the men's changing room~! You can't stay in there all day; we're at a pool~!"

Kurogane groaned from the shadows. "I'm _not_ coming out!" A sound of a metal bench being cut in half was heard. "At least not in _this_!"

Fai laughed as he briefly glanced at the rest of the group who were having a great time. While most of them anyway; Watanuki's sitting on the grass area sending daggers at Doumeki who was well aware of the dark looks he was receiving. It was not his fault that the teen wanted to try the diving board for the first time.

It was also _not _his fault that the blue-eyed teen now had a big red mark on his stomach. _Surely not._

"Aw don't be such a baby~!" Fai smiled. "Everyone's wearing a swimsuit so you should wear one too~!"

_A dented locker._

"Easy for you to say!" Kurogane angrily retorted. "You're not the one in this…this…._thing_!" He stomped back and forth in distress and in soon-to-be embarrassment. "Where's the rest of my clothes!"

Fai smirked. "Oh, I gave them to Yuuko who for some _unknown reason_ disappeared~!"

_A sink hitting the transparent window._

"Damn it mage!"

The wizard laughed as he licked his ice cream cone. "It would be much easier if you just come out~!" He sang out.

_Another sink meeting a terrible fate._

Sakura come up to Fai with a concerned look. She was wearing a one piece baby pink swimsuit with yellow draped around it. "Um Fai….what is exactly going on here? Why isn't Kurogane coming out of the changing room?"

Turning to the princess, Fai grinned. "Well my dear child, it seems that Daddykins is very insecure with his image." He then waved around. "So I decided to aide in this dilemma by buying him a wonderful swim outfit that was perfect for him."

"I see." Sakura responded. "But why is he destroying the changing room?"

Fai chuckled. "He's just couldn't contain his joy over it."

_A series of screams was heard._

Then the pair was met with silence before a sigh was heard.

"…Fine mage. I'll come out." A dark silhouette appeared on the edge of the changing room. "But I swear to god, if anybody laughs I don't care what happens; I will _end you all_."

Sakura shivered at the cold words that came out of the man but tried to smile nonetheless. "D-don't worry about that K-Kurogane…we won't laugh at you."

Fai on the other hand just giggled. "Yes, yes; whatever you say Kuro-puu. Now come out here so we can see your _sexy body_~!"

Kurogane sighed. "Alright…here goes." The man finally stepped out of the changing room.

The princess kept her smile as she was ready to comfort the man with whatever swimsuit he was forced to wear. As soon as she got a good look at the ninja; her smile dropped and was replaced with another expression.

"_EH!_"

Syaoran, who heard the princess's scream, he looked up from the water gun he was having with the rest of the group. His mouth immediately dropped. "What the….?"

Doumeki and Himawari looked at where Syaoran was staring at.

Himawari clasped her mouth as a blush was spread across her face.

The stoic teen's eyes widen at the sight. So he _can _change his facial expressions.

From the grass area, it took all of Watanuki's willpower _not _to knock himself unconscious.

As for the Mokonas…well they started cheering; making wolf whistles and making kissing noises that made the already uncomfortable group; even more uncomfortable.

Kurogane was _beyond_ mortified.

Fai; despite everyone else's shocked expressions, smirked dirtily. "Oh my Kurgs, it looks like the swimsuit got some positive feedback." He looked up and down at the man. "I don't think you will have any competitions from now on~!"

For a few minutes, no one would say anything.

Finally, Sakura spoke up. "Um…You don't look _that_ bad, Kurogane." Her face was turning redder and redder the longer she was looking at him. "It actually is…very nice."

Feeling a bit small, Kurogane looked down. "Don't lie; I look retarded."

"No no, Kuro~!" Fai intervened. "You actually look pretty sexy right now~! I could just eat you up~!"

The Mokonas were now taking pictures of the man in question.

As Kurogane was walking towards the mage with shaking hands and a dark glare in his eyes; Fai smiled happily.

"See, I told you that wearing a small thong with bunny ears on your head was a nice idea~!"

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**END**

**

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**I'll just let what happens next up to your imaginations. XD

**Don't forget to review, check out my other stories and vote on vamp poll in my profile.**

**Until next time~! ^_^  
**


	33. Memory

I'm really, _really _sorry for the lack of updates for _any_ of the stories. I was got caught up on life; in a draining manner. But don't worry, I'll try to update again as soon as possible.

_By the way_ I have a new crossover story called '**_Let's get cooking_**': a Hetalia/XXXHolic story. But it's a pet project so it won't be updated as often.

_On another note_ My b-day came and gone but one of my FF friends **Leia de Flourite **made a long one-shot for my b-day~! I'm so happy~! If you all get the chance, read it. Believe me it's well written~! ^_^

Okay, enough ranting; time for story...but forgive me for how short it is.

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**Warning: Language...and other things**

**Disclaimer: Don't own them; never will**

**Enjoy~!  
**

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**Why a person should remember what they did long ago**

**

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**Fai cooed at the scene before him. "Aww~! Don't they look cute together~?"

Kurogane; who was reading the newspaper glanced over at his side and huffed. "I guess."

The pair was baby-sitting two little children named Sakura and Syaoran while the parents were out for the day. Sakura was about a year and a half old and was playing with a toy truck. Syaoran was about the same age and was looking at the truck intently.

Without warning, Syaoran grabbed the truck that Sakura was holding and tried to take it from her. "Mine!"

Sakura whined as she tried to take back the truck. "No! Mine!" She refused to back down.

The struggle continued with the two pulling on the toy truck; both getting louder and louder by each passing second.

Eventually their cries reached Fai's ears as he viewed the scene with a shocked look. "Syaoran, Sakura! What on earth are you two doing?" He walked up to them and kneeled down to their level.

Sakura took the truck back. "Syao want'd my truck!"

Fai looked at the two with a smile. "Is that so?"

"But I want that truck!" Little Syaoran said before crying loudly; rubbing his eyes as the tears started to fall down his cheeks. "I want it!"

"Oh shut it kid." Kurogane said without glancing up from his newspaper. "For all we care to know; the girl had it first. You just have to wait your turn."

Syaoran pouted while Sakura smiled up at the tan man.

"As harsh as Kuro-meanie put that, he's right." Fai patted Syaoran's head gently. "You just have to wait your turn okay?"

The little boy didn't like that but nodded nonetheless.

Satisfied, Fai stood up and left the kids so they play again. He sat across from Kurogane and smiled. "Since when you care about who got what first? They're just little kids."

Looking up briefly at Fai, Kurogane glared. "That's because while you were with the kid; changing his diaper, I saw the girl take that truck and played with it first. Besides she was a hell of a lot patient then the brat."

"Oh~! So we're playing favorites now~?" Fai asked teasingly. "I never knew you would defend anyone let alone a little girl." He then suddenly gasped dramatically. "Don't tell me that she stolen your heart Kuro-savoir~! I'm quite jealous~!"

Slamming the newspaper down, Kurogane stood up. "Look you goddamn moron! Just because some little brat somehow made me freaking soft all over-which she's _not_- doesn't mean I would made crap like that up! In fact I think you're the one who's so full of -"

"_WAHHHH!_"

Fai and Kurogane looked over and saw Syaoran; lying on the floor crying his eyes out. Then they saw Sakura smiling while continuing to play with the truck.

The pair looked at each other.

"Five bucks said the girl pushed the brat."

It was one of the things that Sakura always felt guilty about later on in her life. No wonder Syaoran felt a bit insecure around her.

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_**Explanation **_

My mom and dad got into a long conversation about me a couple days after my birthday and it lead to one of the strangest moment of my childhood but couldn't for the life of me remember it…though I _was_ really young at the time.

Apparently I was playing with some kid while my mom and her friends were busy talking this one time.

The kid was trying to take a toy from me and I didn't like it.

My mom said that she told the kid that I got it first and he should wait for his turn.

But of course he didn't listen.

So he tried to take my toy again so (_apparently_) I got really pissed and pushed the kid down very roughly.

He started to cry.

My mom silently congratulated me. Even though it _was_ kinda wrong to do...but she then told me that the kid was asking for it and i was doing her a favor.

In short my mom basically told me that I was a bit of a bully in those toddler days.

I didn't know whether to feel proud or ashamed at my behavior.

I kinda wished I could remember that bit though.

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**END**

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**Don't forget to review, check out my other stories and vote for vamp poll in my profile.**

**Until Next Time~! ^_^**


	34. Tattoo?

**_HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE!_**

I'm sorry for the lack of updates for this wonderful story. I hope it won't happen again. ^_^

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**Warning: Language and the fact this was written in about two hours**

**Disclaimer:Don't own them; never will**

**Enjoy~!  
**

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**Please tell me that this is not permanent**

**

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**"Mage."

"Yes, Kurgs?"

"I want you to answer this as truthfully as possible."

"If you say so Kurgy."

"Right…so please tell me this…..WHY THE HELL IS THERE A TATTOO ON MY GODDAMN BACK!"

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The group was staying a hotel about a day before the New Year in that world called New Years Eve. Fai suggested that he and Kurogane go to a party to celebrate while the kids and Mokona can just stay home and have a party of their own.

One thing lead to another before the people of that place celebrated the drop of the ball; signaling the mark of the New Year. There were high-fives, hugs and kisses. But more importantly there were alcohol involved; tons of it.

So imagine Kurogane's surprise when he and Fai went back to the hotel only feeling a bit tispy. But he cannot remember what happened _during_ the party. So imagine the reaction he got when he went to the bathroom during early afternoon of New years day and saw something black on edge of his shoulder, looking in the mirror he found that he had a tattoo of a black dragon with red eyes that spread from the base of the spine to the base of his neck.

He was shocked….then he thought about it…then he got really pissed.

Which led to the moment in the kitchen.

Fai raised an eyebrow. "Tattoo? Kuro-puu, what are you talking about? I don't recall you having one before. Are you still just starting to wake up?"

Kurogane rolled his eyes. "No you damn moron. I mean this tattoo." He turned around so Fai could see it. It was very detailed and bold. But artwork's the least of his problems. "I know that I didn't have that damn thing before we went to that party and now it's here! Just what the hell happened in that freaking event!"

Fai walked up and lightly touched the tattoo; clearing not seeing Kurogane's faint blush on his face. "Oh my, that is a dilemma." He then clasped his hands on recollection. "Oh I think I know!"

The ninja turned around (blush gone, by the way) and narrowed his eyes. "Really?"

"I think so, yes." Fai placed a finger under his chin. "It could be from that drinking contest that you participated because one of the people challenged you to."

Kurogane tried to remember it….but came up nothing. "Then why the hell can't I remember that?"

Fai smirked. "It's because you won and were showing off a bit."

* * *

"_Chug Chug Chug Chug!"_

_Fai was watching the event with amusement while drinking a bit of wine. He overheard someone challenging Kurogane to a drinking contest and the ninja accepted. If only they knew…_

_Kurogane was downing his 34__th__ cup of beer as his competitor was down for the count. He slammed the cup on the table victoriously as he sighed heavily. "There!"_

_The crowd cheered as the man stood up; not even swaying at the amount of alcohol he consumed._

"_Hey how about the big guy gets prize for winning!" Someone in the crowd shouted out; causing more people to shout louder._

_However Fai had long left the room to get a refill of his drink._

_Kurogane laughed as crossed his arms. "Go ahead and try; I'll be the one to see if it's worthy for a man of my status!" Unbeknownst to him; thanks to the alcoholic consumption; his rowdy personality started to surface; making him a different person….for the most part. _

_

* * *

_"…Okay…so I won." Kurogane stated. "….But I really can't remember that crap happening."

Fai shrugged. "It's a mystery to me. But I think what happened next might help more."

"…oh god there's more?" Kurogane asked.

"Yep and it gets better."

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_Kurogane was sitting on a chair that was placed backwards as he felt the cool touch on his back. He had a huge smirk on his face as he held a cup of whiskey in his hand. "Hey, is it done?"_

"_Not yet sir." The one doing the tattoo was working on it very precisely and it took all of that person's concentration to work on it. "Almost there….and done!"_

_The ninja stood up and admired the work when showed to him. "Awesome. Just my type of tattoo. Freaking kicks ass." He grinned as he walked out of the room and in front of the crowd. "I'm the warrior of this damn place; and don't you damn forget it!"_

_The crowd cheered and sound of wolf calls were heard. _

_However by the time Fai heard him and went to the room, Kurogane's upper body was covered. He figured it was his rowdy personality spewing stuff again._

_

* * *

_"I honestly didn't know that you had that tattoo. I just thought the crowd just wanted to hear you shout." Fai said as he started to blush. "You were very open about what you were saying and I was proud that you were having fun…."

Kurogane raised an eyebrow. "If that's so then why's your face starting to turn red?" He then blinked as Fai was smiling shyly at him. "….What?"

"Well….." Fai started out. "It was very close to midnight…and everyone was watching that big ball drop and people get really excited….."

* * *

"_Everyone countdown from ten!"_

_Fai and Kurogane were in the same room when everyone was called in to celebrate the New Year. All of the guys were either with a girl or with friends while they were in the corner just viewing the whole thing._

_But Kurogane's personality issue didn't fade one bit._

"_Here we go…ten…nine….eight…"_

_Fai felt a hand entwining with his. He looked up and saw two red eyes happily looking back at him. "…Kuro…"_

"_Seven…six….five…."_

_Kurogane made no comment as he smirked at the blonde._

"_Four….three…."_

_Fai felt his face heat up. "Um…Kuro….what exactly are you doing…?"_

"_Two….One….HAPPY NEW YEAR!"_

_The crowd cheered as they came together and clashed their drinks._

_At the same moment, Kurogane pulled Fai very close to him with his right arm until their faces were only centimeters apart._

_Fai's face then was as red as a tomato. "K-Kuro-sama…what the…."_

_Kurogane smirked. "Pucker up beautiful." Then he placed his lips over the blonde's in a meaningful kiss. Despite the initial surprise coming from the mage, he smiled as he felt the man deepen the kiss._

_The roar of the crowd fell silent to their ears as they were in their own world._

_

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_"….." Kurogane covered his mouth as his face became red. "Holy hell….did I really do that?"

Fai nodded. "…Yes, you did."

Kurogane looked over at Fai. "And…you didn't feel disgusted by it."

"Surprisingly, no. I actually felt the fireworks when we….kissed." Fai was just as uncomfortable about the whole thing as the ninja was but it wasn't the worst thing to happen to the pair. "But the good news was you were started to feel sober and by the time we came back; you were back to normal."

"….And the tattoo; it's…not permanent…right?" In the midst of the conversation, Kurogane nearly forgot about it.

Fai thought about it. He then went to the sink and wet a towel cloth and came back. "Turn around for me please." Then the man's back is facing him, he gently dab the towel on the tattoo. Then some of the black smeared on the towel. He smiled. "Oh good news Kurgy; it's not….in fact it's just paint that can be very washable."

Kurogane breathed a sigh of relief. "That's good to hear."

"Hm…too bad though….I kinda liked it." Fai contemplated.

The ninja coughed. "Well….I can do it again…if you want…."

Fai had to do a double take as the man was blushing yet again. "….You're really serious…."

"Well duh…why wouldn't I be….I _did_ look badass right?"

Smiling, Fai came forward and wrapped his arms around the warrior. "Yes, I do believe so."

The pair was smiling at each other for a moment before they heard a cough coming from behind. Then they turned to see Syaoran who was in pajamas and looking a bit tired.

Syaoran just stared at them. "….Do I _want_ to know?"

Fai blinked before chuckling. "I don't think so."

"Go to bed kid, you're getting delusional." Kurogane commented.

The kid nodded. "Right."

Thus starting a whole new year of fun, thrills and awkward moments.

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**END**

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**Fun right? XD

**Don't forget to review and check out my other stories.**

**Until Next Time~! ^_^  
**


	35. Tea Time

I guess it goes with saying that I have neglected this story long enough. However, it's uncertain if I'll update this considering my other stories. But I'll try my best.

This was posted on LJ first so some of you *coughUakaricough*have seen this first but whatever. XD

Enjoy the crack that's loosely based on a real life incident. ^_^

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**Tea Time**

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"Kurgs! Your tea is ready~!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming."

Fai smiled as he heard his husband's thundering stomps getting louder with each step.

This was going to be good.

* * *

It was the daily routine in the household.

Every afternoon, Fai (the self-proclaimed house-wife) would make tea for his (_darling_) husband after a morning of outdoor chores and washing up. It was after tucking their adopted kids, Syaoran and Sakura, both age three and before making dinner for the night.

He would make the tea from scratch and refine the drink into perfection; suitable for Kurogane's (bitter and bland) taste. The man would indirectly praise the blonde and the blonde would smile back before taking a drinking a share of that tea.

This was their own time; tea time as they called it.

However, today was a little different.

Oh yes, it was the day that the two will never forget.

* * *

As he made two cups of tea, Fai looked around the cabinets for the jar of sugar that he always kept for his tea but then upon closer inspection; the jar was empty. He frowned. This was not good. "I could have sworn that I bought a pack of sugar yesterday. How odd."

* * *

_Unbeknownst to him, a certain white creature was swallowing a huge pack of sugar like singing the ABC's right across the street before passing out. A crow flew down and poked it a bit before cawing._

* * *

Shrugging, Fai went to the fridge toget some honey; a substitute if sugar was not in sight. Unfortunately for him, as soon as he opened the door, there was no honey in sight. There was some meat, veggies and a bottle of milk but no honey. His frowned deepened. No sugar and no honey.

Somehow the gods above were laughing at him for being placed in such a cruel fate.

However, he eyes fell on a bottle of maple syrup that was lying right next to the bottle of milk. He thought about it a bit. Maple syrup does have sugar…and it pours down like honey….or maybe…..

He thought that maybe he should have to try it out first to see if was okay. Afterall, it wasn't everyday that someone would put syrup in their tea to compensate for the sugar. Taking the bottle, he took one cup of tea and poured in some of the syrup into the tea. As the syrup mixed in with the tea, Fai could only watch as the tea itself darkened in color.

Closing the bottle, Fai swirled the tea a bit and took a sniff. As much as he was ready to try the syrup monstrosity out, he was now not feeling sure about it. He then got an idea. He darkly smirked.

_Of course!_

"Kurgs! Your tea is ready~!"

"I'm coming! I'm coming!"

The blonde smirked.

This was going to be good.

* * *

"_PFFFFFFFTTTTTBLECH! ACK! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY FUCKING TEA!"_

* * *

The _wife_ snickered.

The _husband_ threw a fit.

The _kids_ woke up crying.

And the small living room was _ruined_ in thirty seconds flat.

Ah, yes. Having tea time was such a _good _idea.

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**END**

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Feel free to ask me why the hell I would do something like that to Tea. XD

**Don't forget to review and check out my other stories.**

**Until Next Time~! ^_^**


	36. Explanation

**Tumblr** is becoming my new time-waster...seriously.

This little bit was from **Bottan**/**Konnichipuu's **artwork on 'Kuro torture' meme or something. That goes to her.

However it was **Uakari** who showed it to me. She also gets the blame. (LOL)

So I hope you enjoy this tidbit.

XD

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**Explanation**

* * *

"Fai."

"Yes?"

"I want to ask you something. If that's okay. "

"Why sure Syaoran**. **Ask away~!"

"What... in all that is holy; made you decide to do _this_?"

"Oh my dear boy, whatever are you talking about?"

Syaoran opened his mouth to retort the question…

"_Hello there my dear son~! Nice day out; isn't it~?"_

…Only to shut it again as he stared at his…_friend _in complete awe.

Fai chuckled as he saw Syaoran's expression. "It's great isn't it?" He crossed his arms. "A wonder a bit of magic can do. And look, he cleans."

Blinking, Syaoran glanced at Fai with worry. "Please tell me that isn't payback for that time Kurogane called you a little sissy; is it?"

"Why Syaoran?" Fai exclaimed. "Do you possibly think that I would stoop so low as to use a bit of magic to make Kurogane the perfect wife because of a few harsh choice words aim at me~?"

"Well actually-"

"Oh my dear friend," Fai sighed. "I just wanted to see what it would be for Kuro-rin if he were to be in my shoes. Cooking, cleaning and caring for this family." He then smirked. "I think it's going on very well."

Syaoran held back a few choice words himself. "But did you have to go far as to hypnotizing him into being said 'perfect wife'?" He grimaced as he viewed Kurogane dusting off the mantels, the fireplace and the windows….all while humming a cheery tune.

_Oh dear god, make it stop._

"You have a point." Fai said. "But then again, I think it's high time for Kuro-tan to have a change in personality. Think about it." Fai placed his hands on Syaoran. "A Kuro who's nicer, happier and fun to be around! Isn't that great~?"

"…."

"It is wonderful?"

"N-Not really; I'm just having a hard time comprehending with a giddy Kurogane and you thinking that all of this was even a _remotely _good idea." Syaoran said with a blank face.

"You're no fun." Fai pouted.

'_Says the guy who banned alcohol for a month just because _Kurogane and I _were drinking and having a good time without him.'_ Syaoran thought with a roll of his eyes.

Just then Kurogane turned his head and smiled brightly at the pair. "Hey~! How about I make us some lovely cookies and get some milk and we could all sit around the table and talk about our day~!"

….

"Yeah…let's do that…." Syaoran muttered as he saw Kurogane hopping and skipping into the kitchen. "When will the magic wear off?"

Fai hummed as he swayed a bit. "Dunno. Actually it could be as little as a few minutes or as long as a month." He chuckled. "In fact, it may never wear off~!"

Syaoran blanched. "Um….just to be sure; he won't remember any of this…right?"

"Hey~!" Kurogane's head popped out. "Do you know where the sugar is? You can't make anything tasty without sugar~!"

…

The boy looked up at the mage and gulped as he saw a cat-like smirk out of him. He made a mental note not be near those two when the magic _does_ go away.

Suddenly wanting to go into Mokona's mouth and hiding inside there 'till the end of time doesn't seem like a bad idea right now.

Syaoran started walking away from the madness. "Hey Mokona, there's something I want to talk to you about."

* * *

**END**

* * *

**Don't forget to review and check out my other stories.**

**Until Next Time~! ^_^**


	37. Aftermath

Here's part two of 'Explanation' where Fai gets his just desserts.

Honestly, I just wanted to get this series going since it had a lack of updates it is was.

If anyone got a random idea, please be kind as to say it and I'll turn it into a story.

Enjoy~!

* * *

**Aftermath**

* * *

Syaoran quietly stepped into the kitchen where he heard yelling, shouting, screaming and sounds of things crashing just moments ago. While his instincts made it clear that it was a bad idea to venture into the warzone that _was_ the kitchen, he couldn't help but feel that he didn't go and check things out that something worse might happen.

As if things weren't bad before.

Tip-toeing on the tile floor, Syaoran tried his best to be a stealthy and silent as he can without being noticed. As he went further into the kitchen, he saw the damage that was left. Broken dishes, torn-up cabinets, a cracked window and the stove looked like it exploded.

Suddenly he regretted leaving his safe place.

Gulping, Syaoran started to tip-toe backwards as he wanted to get the hell out of the place before it was too late.

"Hey, Kid."

_Too late._

Syaoran sighed and looked up. In the middle of the wreckage, there was Kurogane; calmly sipping his tea while sitting around the countertop that was splattered in something that was red. He took a sharp intake of air. '_Oh please don't let that be blood.'_

Kurogane looked over at the kid; now slightly annoyed and unimpressed. "What? You never see a grown man enjoying tea before?"

The kid shook his head. "N-No. It's not that!" He then looked around the kitchen. "So…I guess the magic wore off, right?"

"Yep." The ninja nodded. "Good thing too; I was getting sick of those damn aprons."

The warrior spoke way too calmly for Syaoran's taste. In fact, he was more scared now then he was if the ninja were pissed of. "T-That's good. I'm glad that you're back to normal."

Kurogane grunted.

"So….Where's Fai? Do you know where he is?" Syaoran felt a chill go down his spine as he saw a glint of malevolence in those rare red eyes. But let out a small breath of relief as that glint disappeared.

"You mean that moron of a wizard?" As the boy nodded, Kurogane darkly smirked. "He's in the closet; if you must know."

For a moment, Syaoran didn't know what to make of that. "Well that's nothing new." He said without thinking. "I mean I know Fai's not a normal person but I guess we all have preferences on what gender we like-"

Kurogane slammed his cup down; making Syaoran jump in surprise. "No dumbass, he's inside an actual closet!"

"O-Oh." Syaoran felt a bit dumb for assuming such a thing. But can you blame him? "Then what's he doing in there then?"

For a moment no one would utter a word. Just the sound of a bird chirping on a nearby tree.

Then a sound of a muffled scream hit Syaoran's ears. He looked around; wanting to know here that came from. Then he heard a dark chuckle coming from the ninja.

"Well after the mage _willingly_ told me about what I was doing when I was _bewitched_, I gave him my gratitude." Kurogane then pushed his cup away. "So we talked….and worked it out. Naturally though I was mad at first." He then sighed a bit happily. "And I expressed that to the dumb mage and he tried to weasel his way out of the fact that it was _his _fault to begin with." He then tapped the counter with a toothily grin. "So, I let him have it."

"L-Let him have it?" Considering that he just heard the sounds of chaos just moments ago, it wasn't a big surprise. However…. "Are you planning on keeping Fai in there while we're here?"

Kurogane thought about it. "Maybe not. I guess if the mage passes out then it'd be a good idea to get him out."

"Really?"

"Do you really think I'm _that_ heartless?"

"….I….well no but—"

"Then this discussion is over." Kurogane then stood up. "If you need me, I'll be outside doing target practice."

"With that exactly?" Syaoran asked.

Kurogane looked over his shoulder and smirked. "What else?" And with that he slammed the door; heading out to the front yard.

Syaoran stood in the spot for a few seconds. He thought about what Kurogane said and what happened in the past ten minutes. He then rubbed his head in irritation. "I guess I could've gotten worse companions." He then went to the closet and opened the door.

There was Fai, with bruises, cuts and was tied not to mention gagged; curled into a fetal position. Those blue eyes looked up at the boy and he could have sworn that those eyes were laughing.

Sighing, Syaoran removed the gag. "I told you that it was a bad idea from the start."

Coughing and taking a big gulp of air, Fai chuckled. "Aw but I just wanted to make things better for this family~!"

"Two things Fai. One: I can't even _imagine_ you doing anything for the greater good if Kurogane's involved." Syaoran stated. "And two: while I respect your rash decision, that doesn't mean I won't question them."

Fai pouted. "Well you're no fun."

"Says the guy trapped in the closet; bound and gagged." Syaoran said with a blank expression. "Now let's you get out of those bonds—"

*_SMASH*_

Syaoran cringed. "On second thought, I'll just stay inside this closet with you." With that he went in and shut the door; leaving him and Fai in the dark.

A few seconds went by before a chuckle was heard.

"So Syaoran…" Fai started. "What's it like being in the closet?"

Syaoran groaned. "I will _never_ understand

* * *

**END**

* * *

I don't think anyone would. (But they sure as hell will try). XD

**Don't forget to review and check out my other stories.**

**Until Next Time~! ^_^**


	38. Overcelebrating

World cup craze + My imagination + chatting with **Uakari** = THIS.

Enjoy the crack.

* * *

**Over-Celebrating**

* * *

"Hey Kuro-puu~! Hey Kuro-puu~! Hey Kuro—"

"Dear god, what the hell do you want now?" Kurogane said as he saw the bubbly mage walk into the room. "And wipe that grin off your face; it's creepy."

Fai shook his head as he as bouncing his feet up and down; giving the ninja an image of paddle-ball hitting the paddle over and over. "No can do. I'm just so excited~!" He then giggled. "Besides I have something behind my back~!"

"And….?" Kurogane raised an eyebrow. "You're going to show it to me or what?"

"Not yet~!" Fai said. "Guess what it is."

Kurogane sighed. "Fine. Is it a hat?"

"Nope~!"

"A umbrella?"

"Nope~!"

"A dead carcass of the fur ball with the eyeballs gorged out?"

"Nop—" Fai paused. "That's mean even for you; Kurgs."

Kurogane shrugged.

"But anyway; nope~!" Fai then showed him the object. "It's a plastic horn." He inspected the object with fascination. "I think it's called Vuvuzela. It's used for cheering your team on in… those 'Sock-ker' games Syaoran kept talking about."

"And how the hell would I care about a stupid thing like that—"

_PFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTT!_

"THE HELL!" Kurogane suddenly shouted out in surprise.

"Wow~! It's loud!" Fai exclaimed with a wide grin. "So that's how it sounds. Cool~!"

_PFFT!_

_PFFT!_

_PFFFFFFFFTTTTTT!_

"_Shut up_!" Kurogane shouted with hands over his ears. "Fine, it's a freaking horn during stupid games. Now go outside with that thing and annoy someone else!"

Fai pouted. "You're no fun." He then twirled around on the tips of his toes. "I just thought that we can play with each other with the horn. I got one for you too~!"

"Like I freaking car—wait." Kurogane paused. "You got another one of those horns too?"

"Yup~!" Fai said. "I was hoping that when I showed you this that we have a game of wits; on who can outlast the longest."

The ninja thought about for a second. A contest with the mage with those horns? It seemed very childish. But who was he to turn down a challenge. He grinned at the wizard. "You're on."

* * *

[Hours later]

_PFFT!_

_PFFFT!_

_PFFFT!_

_PFFT!_

"Mokona….what are they doing?"

_PFFT!_

_PFFFFT!_

_PFFFT!_

_PFFT!_

"Hehe. They're playing a game~!"

_PFFT!_

_PFT!_

_PFFT-HAHAHAHA! Is that the best you can do Kurgs? That was awful~!_

_FUCK YOU! PFFFFFFFTTTTTTTT!_

_PFFFT!_

_PFFFFFT!_

_PFFFFFFTTTT!_

_PFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTT!_

Syaoran rolled his eyes. "I swear they are more childish than the princess or I ever was."

Mokona giggled to that statement.

* * *

**END**

* * *

I have no idea what a vuvuzela even _sounds_ like. Just that during the world cup craze, I heard and seen it...a lot.

**Don't forget to review and check out my other stories.**

**Until Next Time~! ^_^  
**


	39. Kissing Booth TRC version

I didn't like the way it turned out but I couldn't stop writing. (Well writing and watching dubbed in-between XD but let's not be too hasty.)

**Original Idea is credited to: **_Hey, I have an idea for your story Twisted Tales of Tsubasa: Mindless Delight: Yuuko spends too much money on sake and needs to make more so she sets up a kissing booth! Of course Fai will be delighted to participate and a certain P.E. teacher wont be too happy about it. So Fai can be standing at the kissing booth waiting for the kiss with Kuro-sama but of course he doesn't want to (or so he says ;)). I am sure that your brilliant mind will come up with something, so I hope you will consider it_.

This idea was very good that I have this version and will have the Horitsuba version as well.

Enjoy~! ^_^

* * *

**Kissing Booth**

* * *

"You want us to do…what?"

Yuuko smirked as she drank her cup of sake. "I said that I want to set up a kissing booth in front of the shop; specifically the front of the gates."

"What's a kissing booth?" Fai asked innocently.

With a wide smile, Yuuko giggled. "A kissing booth is simply a booth that you kiss people for whatever price. Be it 25 cents or up to a dollar each. Many schools and festivals have done it from time to time so it's not uncommon. So how about it?"

"Wait a second." Kurogane said with a hand in the air. "First of all, why the hell would anyone want a stranger's slobber on them for any price…"He made a face. "And second of all why the hell would we do this; what's the reason for this?"

"Very good question…." Then there was a pause. "I'm doing this to earn money of course." Yuuko then clasped her hands together. "The money…to buy sake!"

"Yay~!" Fai clapped his hands. "I had a feeling that would be the reason."

"As hell you did!" Kurogane yelled. "So that's it right? You can't get your lazy ass up so you're making us do it?"

"Would you rather have me kick you out of the shop?" Yuuko asked calmly. "Because I think I'm doing more than necessary by letting the group stay here for who knows how long. And believe me, I can only assume that you still haven't adapted yourself into the real modern world."

Kurogane glared at the witch before looking away.

"Um…Yuuko, if I may…" Fai piped up with a smile. "I don't think it's necessary to have both of us to do it. I mean, if Kuro-puu's not up for it then maybe I can instead."

"Aww! Isn't that sweet? You standing in for the ninja's sake." The witch hugged the mage. "You know, you're so lucky to have a friend like him." She said to the ninja.

"More like cursed to me." Kurogane huffed. "Fine if the mage wants to step in so badly then let him. But I'm not doing it and that's final." The last part was drowned out by loud laughter and cheers of joy.

* * *

For a moment, Kurogane thought if it was a good idea to let the mage take over the 'kissing booth' business. As weird as the idea was he can only imagined how the blonde would make it worse.

"All done." The ninja stepped back and admired his work a bit. It was rarely small booth stand with a sign that was plain but clear to read. It had the words 'Kissing booth' on it. He sighed as he leaned back a bit and tossed the hammer away. "Finally."

"Hyuu~! Excellent work, Kurgs." Fai said as he popped out of nowhere. "I didn't know you can build a booth that quickly."

"Maybe if you get off your pretentious ass once in a while then maybe you can actually build something of you own." Kurogane grumbled. "Anyway, since it's up and all, what are you supposed to do again?"

"According to Yuuko, I'll just smile and be pretty." Fai crossed his arms. "Hopefully, someone will come and be interested. If that's the case I'll just…'do my deed' and get some payment." He then grinned. "I hope a dollar a kiss wouldn't be too much. Money is tight these days."

"Ugh, as if anyone wants to kiss you for free let alone a dollar." Kurogane grimaced. "I pity the ones who will stoop so low as to kiss _you_ of all people."

"Just you wait Kurgy, soon we'll be ranking in with cash." Fai said proudly. "We'll have money in no time!"

"Heh. Somehow I doubt it."

* * *

"Hey guys, look at that guy; he's so cute!"

"Oh my gosh, a kissing booth? That's so neat and the guy's not bad looking either."

"Gals, you have got to come over and see this, there's a kissing booth and it's run by a total hottie! Hurry, there's a long line and everything!"

Kurogane growled under his breath. '_What the hell is this world coming to?'_

It happened so quickly. At first, the street was empty as a town scene in a western movie. Then like some miracle, one girl walked by and viewed the booth. Flashing a smile, Fai waved. The ninja was sure that he'd be ignored by that girl and so on.

But then, _this _came to be.

_That damn smile._

It wasn't the man was jealous or anything. That wasn't the case at all. Not one bit. But surely the sudden bout of popularity should be a reason as any to be _a little bit_ upset anyway…right?

Besides, ninjas don't get jealous. They're not girly girls who get envious of what other girls have and promptly beat the crap out of them on a regular basis. They are men and men have to keep their reputation intact.

But it's hard to do that when the person next to you is getting more praise for less work then he did.

And that those girls get more of that moron's lips then he ever could in his entire life—

No….wait.

That didn't sound right at all.

Glancing at Fai, Kurogane could see his bright and manipulating smile wooing the girls and getting some major cash. He gritted his teeth. He just couldn't wait till it's over. Then he can just forget the whole thing.

"Hey Kuro-rin~! Look over here!"

The ninja glanced over and suddenly gaped at what he saw.

"Isn't it funny Kurgs? These ladies over here are on their spring break and wouldn't you know it, they are celebrities as well. Some place called America I think. Can you believe that~?"

"…"

Kurogane didn't think he can take much more of this.

* * *

Ignoring the cheers and laughter from the down the hallway, Kurogane resided in one of the spare rooms of the shop and just looked out of the window. He rubbed his eyes and tried to forget the whole day. But the walls were so thick it was very hard to do so.

"Kurgs…Kurgs, are you in here?"

The ninja didn't flinch as he heard the door open. It didn't take a genius either to know who was coming in. "What do you want now, mage? Can't you see that I'm trying to rest?"

Fai giggled. "Well I find that hard to believe since I can clearly see that you're sulking." He smiled as he heard the man huff as he tip-toed his way into the room. "Yuuko said that I have made enough money to get her sake for a couple of years so we're pretty much even."

"Yeah, right." The ninja grunted. "I bet that woman will waste that money in just a couple months. I'm sure of it."

Scooting over to the ninja, Fai carefully leaned over the window sill with a small smile. "You know Kurgs, if you're a bit jealous about today, just say so."

"Why the hell would I be jealous of you slobbering all over those girls?" Kurogane yelled. "Just because you made more money and got more attention for doing something as stupid as kissing doesn't mean I'm freaking jealous!" He turned his head away as he felt his face heat up.

Then the ninja heard a rustle of something paper. He looked over to see the mage with a dollar. "What?"

Fai smiled. "It seems that I had a dollar. But I wonder…what should I spend it on? Maybe I can get a little kiss of Kuro-sama. After all a kiss should be worth at least a dollar."

"What the hell are you on? Put that dollar away before I take it and shove up your-" Then it clicked. The ninja's face went bright red as he stared at the mage (more like his lips but you already know that). He then sighed. "Yeah, yeah. I get it." He takes the dollar. "Let's get it over with—wahhhh!"

Suddenly the ninja was on his back and pressed to the floor. He looked up to see a devious smile on the mage's face. He gulped. "W-What the hell do you think you're doing?" He blinked as the mage laughed.

"I think since I _did_ pay you, I should get my money's worth…and more." Fai then smiled. "Besides, a jealous Kuro is a cute one. And you know how much I really adore you~!"

"I'm not cute you f—mmmmmpph!"

What happened the rest of the night was history. At least until the group sees that big hickey on a certain ninja's neck.

* * *

**END**

* * *

**Don't forget to review and check out my other stories.**

**Until Next Time~! ^_^  
**


	40. Turkey?

**Turkey?**

* * *

Kurogane let out a noise of accomplishment as he sheathed his sword. "There. That's enough butchering for one day." Surrounding him was dozens upon dozens of birds plucked from their feathers and heads chopped…or rather _sliced _off. The heads in question were scattered around the kitchen; some in plain sight, others not so much.

Among the massacre were splatters upon splatters of blood that covered the dead birds, the kitchen and the slicer himself. All in all, it was a huge mess.

Upon the doorway, Syaoran and Watanuki stared at the scene with horrified looks on their faces.

"I knew it. I knew it was a bad idea from the start to have Kurogane in charge of handling the turkeys." Syaoran sighed.

Watanuki paled as he leaned his head on the wall. "That does it, next year he's on pumpkin pie duty with Fai and Sakura."

* * *

**Happy Thanksgiving everybody. Enjoy that Turkey!**

**XD  
**


End file.
